Life of the Party

00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,071 That would have been so weird. 808 00:35:14,154 --> 00:35:15,155 No, it's weird to not bring something. 809 00:35:15,322 --> 00:35:16,744 - No, it's not. - Hell no. 810 00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:17,995 Hell no. 811 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:21,253 Maddie, you're not bringing old people to this party. 812 00:35:21,411 --> 00:35:22,458 Absolutely not. 813 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:23,964 No moms allowed. 814 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:25,795 Um, I will break your face. 815 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,584 No one will recognize you. 816 00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:29,048 You'll die in a ditch. 817 00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:30,462 Okay, okay, okay. 818 00:35:30,629 --> 00:35:32,302 Okay, my mom needs a drink. 819 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:35,809 So back up before I back you up! 820 00:35:39,012 --> 00:35:41,765 I'm so proud of you for owning your power. 821 00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:43,399 Don't escalate it. 822 00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:45,481 But wow! Impressive. 823 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,858 God, I don't know what's sadder. 824 00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:49,443 The mom perm 825 00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:51,449 or the mom boobs. 826 00:35:51,941 --> 00:35:55,320 Mom perm! Time-out, guys. 827 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:56,579 God-given curls. 828 00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:59,412 All I'm doing is a little, maybe a foam mousse, 829 00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:01,167 a little spray, hot roller, 830 00:36:01,326 --> 00:36:03,328 and I set it, and I forget it. 831 00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:04,667 And secondly, 832 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:07,924 these allowed this one to suckle at these teats 833 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,302 for 28 wonderful, wonderful 834 00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:12,087 tender months. 835 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,221 I wear them around my waist proudly. 836 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:15,883 This isn't the time. 837 00:36:17,467 --> 00:36:20,095 I just feel like I don't know if it's more pathetic 838 00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:22,059 to party with your mom, 839 00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:24,475 or to party with your daughter. 840 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,152 Come on. Let's do something cool. 841 00:36:28,311 --> 00:36:30,905 Real cool. Bye, nerds. 842 00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:39,535 Okay, this was lot of fun. 843 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:42,247 Um, but I want you to enjoy yourselves tonight, 844 00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:43,752 so I'm just gonna go. 845 00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:45,082 - No! Come on! - No! 846 00:36:45,245 --> 00:36:46,747 - You can't leave! - We're gonna have a good time. 847 00:36:46,913 --> 00:36:50,508 I should not be here. This is not a party for me. 848 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,419 If you go, evil wins! 849 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:53,882 Okay, you know what? 850 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,343 I have an idea. Let's go to the bathroom. 851 00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:58,600 - Oh, I don't have to tinkle. - I think you do. 852 00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:01,261 I think I'd know if I had to tinkle. 853 00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:02,470 Except that one time. 854 00:37:02,637 --> 00:37:05,140 All right. Let's go. 855 00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:07,183 Please tell me you're not doing the cocaine. 856 00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:08,943 Oh, my God! No! Come on. 857 00:37:09,436 --> 00:37:11,234 - No, I already told you. - Get in there. 858 00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:13,490 I do not have to go to the bathroom. 859 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,650 Mom, you're a college girl now 860 00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,202 and we gotta make some changes. 861 00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:19,450 - What does that mean? - Let's start 862 00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,285 - with these glasses. - No! 863 00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:22,995 You gotta start wearing contact lenses. 864 00:37:23,658 --> 00:37:25,205 This is horrible! 865 00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:26,961 And then this, this is just... 866 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,372 Let's get this off. 867 00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:29,960 - Come on, Mom. - No! Oh, my God! 868 00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:31,375 What has gotten into you? 869 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:32,963 - Don't fight it, Mom! - Oh! 870 00:37:33,126 --> 00:37:35,049 It's like a Band-Aid. You gotta rip it off quickly. 871 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,088 All I have on is my undershirt. 872 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,302 Yeah! 873 00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:40,767 I'm gonna unbutton. 874 00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:42,723 Not one, not two, 875 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:44,429 but three. 876 00:37:44,596 --> 00:37:46,473 Not three buttons, no! 877 00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:48,061 Look at your breasts! 878 00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:49,271 - Mom! - What? 879 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,647 I don't know what's happening. 880 00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:51,857 Those are gorgeous! 881 00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:53,363 Well, they're all right. 882 00:37:53,688 --> 00:37:55,235 Maybe...