Eddie Murphy Raw

"This house is too big for one person to clean. Why don't you leave? 554 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,680 "You always crying. Just leave him. You know something? 555 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,080 "Do you know you could take half his money? Did you know that? 556 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,160 "He didn't tell you you were entitled to half? 557 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,680 "He only told you half the story. 558 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,400 "You can take half the money, the car, the house, the children. 559 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,480 "You can buy all the zebras and bones you want. 560 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,080 "Go back home in style, girl. And get your hair done right. 561 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,120 "Cut that Afro off, go back home in style. Who the hell he think he is? 562 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,720 "Let me tell you about Eddie Murphy. 563 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,880 "That motherfucker ain't nothing but... Oh, hi, Eddie. How you doing? 564 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,080 "Oh, I didn't know you was here. You scared me. 565 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:36,400 "No, I can't stay. I was just talking to Uhmfufu about a couple of things. 566 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,600 "No, no, no, I got to go. I got to... You two... Y'all two lovebirds talk. 567 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,320 "Eddie, talk to your... Talk to Uhmfufu. 568 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,800 "Y'all got a lot to talk about. Go on, Eddie. Please, talk to her. Uhmfufu..." 569 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:53,040 And leave me in the kitchen with some bush bitch with an attitude. 570 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,480 "Eddie! 571 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,480 "Eddie! 572 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,880 "I want to talk to you!" 573 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,440 "What's your problem, baby?" 574 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,240 "I don't like the way you treat me, Eddie. 575 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,040 "You treat me like animal." 576 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,120 "You was butt naked on a zebra last month." 577 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,280 "I don't care, Eddie. I am American woman now. 578 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,720 "I want what's coming to me. 579 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,360 "Eddie, what have you done for me lately?" 580 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,520 "I want you to be happy. Well, what you want?" 581 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,280 "Half! 582 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:46,240 "Give me half, Eddie. Give me half, Mr. Fuck-you Man. 583 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,360 "Suck my dick, Eddie. 584 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,480 "You motherfucker." 585 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,320 <i>Then I'd be on the front page of the African Enquirer like this:</i> 586 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,600 So be careful. Don't get caught in a trap. 587 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,040 Any woman can get any man she wants 588 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,240 if she puts her mind and pussy to it. They can have you. 589 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,280 They have figured us out. We're very easy creatures to figure out. 590 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,000 And women know all they have to do is cater to our egos enough 591 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,000 and they can have you. Guys, how many times have you fucked 592 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,480 some ugly bitch that just kept hanging around and you had to fuck her? 593 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,720 And then afterwards you be like this, "I can't believe I fucked this bitch." 594 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,360 They just cater to your ego. 595 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,040 Sometimes you'll see a real ugly bitch 596 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,160 with a handsome dude. You say, "How that happen?" 597 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,800 Dude's going, "Yeah, how that happen?" 598 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,280 Because she catered to his ego. They can figure us out. 599 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,640 Guys, don't get trapped. We'll call them "pussy traps". 600 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,000 Let's call them pussy traps. 601 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,840 lt's a trap. They trap you with the pussy. 602 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,200 They catch you with the pussy, see. And it's a trap. 603 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,440 The most common trap is to not give you any, though. 604 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,520 Don't think, "Maybe you're gonna put a trap on." 605 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,640 The most common is when you ain't getting any at all, that's the trap. 606 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,840 When you meet a woman and everything is perfect 607 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,160 and she won't do anything, it's a trap. 608 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,280 Sometimes it backfires, because a lot of women play these games with sex. 609 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,680 And ladies like sex just as much as we do, guys, but they act like they don't. 610 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,240 But they do. There's not a woman.