Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

948 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,069 Jeanie! 949 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,832 Hey, everybody. A big thank you 950 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:44,751 to my new family, the Stangles. 951 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:45,989 We love you, Eric! 952 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,080 Thank you. 953 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,310 And to my own family, I must say... 954 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,958 Portland, Oregon in the house! 955 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,349 (ERIC'S FAMILY WHOOPING) 956 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,432 I'm really happy to finally make you all my ohana... 957 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,953 which means "family." (APPLAUSE) 958 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,156 And as the Hawaiians say... 959 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:01,514 Kole maluna! 960 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,797 Which translates loosely into "bottoms up." (LAUGHS) 961 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,599 But more closely translated, it actually means... 962 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,235 "your butts to the sky"... 963 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,958 which is inappropriate. 964 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,793 This is gonna be magic. 965 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,671 Thank you all again, so much, for being here. 966 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,515 We are so happy to have you at our wedding. 967 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,794 (ECHOING) Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. 968 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,992 Put the mic on the stand. The stand. 969 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,360 Alice. 970 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:32,475 Where are you going? 971 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:33,560 Hi! What happened? 972 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:34,656 You sort of zoned out for a sec. 973 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:35,680 What's up? You okay? 974 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,229 Yeah! We're at a wedding. Wedding. Wedding. 975 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,153 You just said "wedding" three times. 976 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,309 I'm fine. Yeah! 977 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,200 Let's just forget about the past, and move on. 978 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,072 To the bar! 979 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,434 To the bar? 980 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:48,400 Mmm. Mmm. 981 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,313 Ooh. I don't think these are shots. 982 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,136 I mean, we're drinking 'em like they're shots... 983 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,160 but I don't think they're 984 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,440 supposed to be drunk like that. 985 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,516 Your face is funny. 986 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,159 (BOTH LAUGHING) 987 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,238 (WOMAN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 988 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,000 (LAUGHING) 989 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,078 Oh. Hey, Mike. 990 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,936 I was just talking to my new friend, Tatiana. 991 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,240 Tatiana, this is my cousin, Mike. 992 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,510 She knows who I am. She's my date. 993 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,439 Why would someone this attractive ever be with you? 994 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:26,856 Are you gonna hit on my date all weekend, 995 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:27,949 like bisexual Fonzie? 996 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,320 I don't think it's gonna take all weekend. Am I right? 997 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,794 So, you guys are cousins? 998 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,856 She's been jealous of me since I was a little kid. 999 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,280 What could I possibly be jealous of? 1000 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,709 Your outfit looks like Jimmy Buffet's dust ruffle. 1001 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,110 Do you guys always do this? 1002 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,176 Okay, this is actually a very fashion-forward outfit. 1003 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,400 No, you look like the wallpaper 1004 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,800 from a Long John Silver's bathroom. 1005 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,616 TATIANA: Cool. I'm gonna hit the buffet now... 1006 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,269 while you guys do whatever it is you're doing. 1007 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:53,355 Okay? 1008 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,440 Good idea. 1009 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,875 Look at that. 1010 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,110 Pink little ass just bouncing away, saying... 1011 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,670 (SINGING) Terry, come get me Terry, come get me 1012 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:03,829 No, it's saying... 1013 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,598 (SINGING) Mike, crawl up in this 1014 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,950 Mike, crawl up in this 1015 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:09,917 Whoa. What's up, double trouble? 1016 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:11,308 Terry. Cousin of the bride. 1017 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,776 Get at me later, we'll make a Terry sandwich. 1018 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,233 Don't touch her. She has chlamydia. 1019 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,549 Everybody does. No. 1020 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,000 Not everyone does. 1021 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:18,960 Saw you and Dave are doing 1022 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,136 your speech together at the rehearsal dinner. 1023 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:21,160 Mmm-hmm. 1024 00:33:2