Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

670 00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:45,856 <font color="#D900D9">(INAUDIBLE)</font> 671 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,359 <font color="#808080">WOMAN:</font> Oh, my God! 672 00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:51,654 He just drunk the dauber shit. 673 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,657 Oh, man! You can't do that! 674 00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:55,250 Hell, no! 675 00:33:56,243 --> 00:33:57,910 - Yuck. <font color="#808080">WOMAN:</font> - Stop. 676 00:33:57,911 --> 00:33:59,161 <font color="#808080">WOMEN:</font> Stop! 677 00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:01,005 Stop? Hell, keep going! 678 00:34:01,248 --> 00:34:03,922 <font color="#808080">WOMAN:</font> You're making everybody sick. <font color="#808080">IRVING:</font> No, come on, come on! 679 00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:07,762 Let's go back to the damn game, all right? 680 00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:13,101 God damn! You guys are driving me to drink! 681 00:34:13,927 --> 00:34:15,600 I need a drink. 682 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:17,146 <font color="#D900D9">(RATTLING)</font> 683 00:34:17,966 --> 00:34:19,390 <font color="#D900D9">(IRVING GROANS)</font> <font color="#D900D9">(WOMAN SPEAKING)</font> 684 00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:20,975 What the hell you got? 685 00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:24,321 I got a damn margarita! Who wants a margarita? 686 00:34:27,607 --> 00:34:30,030 O.Z., half of this is for you. 687 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:32,616 How about a little fun, people? 688 00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:56,051 Excuse me? Sir? Can you tie my shoe, please? 689 00:34:56,052 --> 00:34:57,177 Yeah, sure. 690 00:34:57,178 --> 00:34:59,021 - Are you married? - Yeah. 691 00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:03,319 - Are you happily married? - Yeah, I guess so. 692 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:08,398 Why do you ask? 693 00:35:09,983 --> 00:35:12,693 - I want a new dad. - Oh, do you? 694 00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,820 Yeah, sorry. 695 00:35:14,821 --> 00:35:17,656 - What's your name? - Dan. 696 00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:20,331 Hey, Dan, I got an idea. 697 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:24,839 How about me being your new kid? 698 00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:26,416 Um... 699 00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:30,210 I don't know if it's really quite that simple. 700 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,254 You know, you can't really, uh... 701 00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:33,297 Why? 702 00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:36,842 You can't really trade kids between families, can you? 703 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:38,686 Sure you can, Dad. 704 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:43,432 You know, when I was overseas, when you would sleep with a prostitute, 705 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:46,226 they would squeeze lime juice on your <i>schmeckle</i> 706 00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:48,187 to see if you had any diseases. 707 00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:50,316 And if you went, "Ow!" 708 00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:54,031 it means you got something, 'cause the cuts burn. 709 00:35:54,694 --> 00:35:57,698 I never went, "Ow!" But one time. 710 00:35:59,032 --> 00:36:00,284 <font color="#D900D9">(LAUGHING)</font> 711 00:36:02,035 --> 00:36:04,370 It's all cleared up now, though. 712 00:36:04,371 --> 00:36:06,789 Ma'am, it's all cleared up. 713 00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:08,133 - Oh, okay. - All right. 714 00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:11,251 Just to prove to you I don't have anything, ladies, 715 00:36:11,252 --> 00:36:13,846 I'm gonna squeeze this lime juice on my <i>schmeckle</i> right now. 716 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:16,466 - Oh, my God! - Okay. 717 00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:19,385 Why resist? Watch this. Here it goes. Here it goes! 718 00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:21,730 Nothing. Nothing. 719 00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:24,139 I got nothing. <font color="#D900D9">(LAUGHING)</font> 720 00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:26,393 That is free advertising right there. 721 00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:30,155 It did sting a little when it got to my bunghole though, I'll tell you that. 722 00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:32,949 That's just between us girls. 723 00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:35,614 I'm gonna have to have that checked out. 724 00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:39,613 <font color="#808080">ANNOUNCER:</font> <i>G-47.</i> 725 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,958 Bingo! 726 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,201 Ha ha! 727 00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:45,454 Bingo! 728 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,457 Bingo! 729 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:51,714 <font color="#808080">ANNOUNCER:</font> <i>Can someone check that bingo for me, please?</i> 730 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:53,460 There's no N! 731 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:55,462 You hush. You hush. 732 00:36:55,463 --> 00:36:56,922 You don't tell me to hush. 733 00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:57,965 You hush, too. 734 00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:59,049 You hush. 735 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:02,600 No, I won't. I'm a grown man. I can talk. I can talk. 736 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,055 I can talk. 737 00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,432 Tattletales. 738 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:11,437 <i>The bingo is not possibl