The Wedding Ringer

00:31:01,027 --> 00:31:03,905 Shit! No! She's on fire! 890 00:31:04,948 --> 00:31:08,034 It's an inferno! JIMMY: Holy shit! 891 00:31:09,285 --> 00:31:10,328 (SCREAMING) 892 00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,121 I need liquids! JIMMY: Get back! 893 00:31:12,705 --> 00:31:14,707 ED: Oh, my God! ALISON: Get something! 894 00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:17,377 It's making it worse! 895 00:31:18,836 --> 00:31:20,838 Give me the tablecloth! 896 00:31:20,922 --> 00:31:22,090 What is wrong with you? 897 00:31:22,173 --> 00:31:23,413 I'm going to get something else! 898 00:31:23,466 --> 00:31:26,135 She just caught fire so fast. 899 00:31:26,302 --> 00:31:30,181 Don't feel bad, Doug. She goes through a can of Aqua Net a day. 900 00:31:30,682 --> 00:31:33,101 Hey, what did they say? Is she okay? Is she going to be all right? 901 00:31:33,268 --> 00:31:36,229 Gretchen, how do you like your grandma? 902 00:31:36,396 --> 00:31:39,482 What? I love her. You know that. What happened? 903 00:31:39,566 --> 00:31:41,734 No, I mean, how do you like her? Medium, well-done? 904 00:31:41,985 --> 00:31:42,985 Oh, my God, Dad. 905 00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:44,195 You can be such an asshole. 906 00:31:44,279 --> 00:31:45,738 She has some minor burns 907 00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:47,574 to her head, chest, back, neck, and breasts, 908 00:31:47,657 --> 00:31:49,337 but the doctor says she's going to be fine. 909 00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:51,077 Oh, thank God. Come on, let's go see her. 910 00:31:51,452 --> 00:31:53,371 I, uh... I feel just awful. 911 00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:54,738 Well, shake it off. If you knew 912 00:31:54,789 --> 00:31:56,082 what the old lady says behind your back, 913 00:31:56,165 --> 00:31:57,542 you would have done it on purpose. 914 00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:00,211 But let me say, that was a hell of a tackle for a tenderfoot. 915 00:32:00,503 --> 00:32:04,090 Tenderfoot? Oh, Douglas was quite the halfback back in college. 916 00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:06,426 You played football, Doug? How come you never told me? 917 00:32:06,509 --> 00:32:08,428 I thought you were just a nerd fan. 918 00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:09,804 (DOUG STAMMERING) 919 00:32:10,305 --> 00:32:13,183 Yeah. Yeah, intramurals, scrimmage. 920 00:32:13,266 --> 00:32:14,976 We scrimmaged, the boys. 921 00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:18,354 And, you know, I made the all-campus team a couple times in football. 922 00:32:18,479 --> 00:32:19,981 I was an all-conference nose tackle. 923 00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:22,150 Half the team's coming in for the wedding. 924 00:32:22,275 --> 00:32:24,902 Why don't we have a friendly game of two-hand touch? 925 00:32:25,069 --> 00:32:26,946 You know, the old-timers versus the groomsmen. 926 00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:28,031 What do you say? 927 00:32:28,156 --> 00:32:30,366 I think that's quite the invitation, Ed, 928 00:32:30,450 --> 00:32:32,118 but there's so much going on. 929 00:32:32,201 --> 00:32:34,829 I just feel like there's not enough time. 930 00:32:34,912 --> 00:32:36,623 Oh, what's the matter, Bic? 931 00:32:36,706 --> 00:32:39,042 Afraid of getting your asses kicked by some old-timers? 932 00:32:43,755 --> 00:32:45,214 I don't think so, Pops. 933 00:32:51,429 --> 00:32:54,265 All things considered, not that bad for a Shotgun Intro. 934 00:32:54,349 --> 00:32:58,227 Not that bad? I just set Gretchen's grandmother on fire. 935 00:32:58,311 --> 00:33:01,022 Wrong. We sacrificed Grandma for the sake of the mission. 936 00:33:01,105 --> 00:33:02,148 I feel terrible. 937 00:33:02,231 --> 00:33:04,275 Feelings are irrelevant in the big con. 938 00:33:04,359 --> 00:33:06,569 What's important is that our cover wasn't blown. 939 00:33:06,653 --> 00:33:09,238 Every test that we encounter will be the same, pass or fail. 940 00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:11,199 As long as we pass, it doesn't matter how we do it. 941 00:33:11,282 --> 00:33:13,326 I still can't believe they actually bought all that 942 00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:15,620 People believe because they have no reason not to. 943 00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:16,829 We're going to have to be on top of our game. 944 00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:18,081 That family was sharp. 945 00:33:18,164 --> 00:33:19,374 Come on, we've got to go. 946 00:33:19,457 --> 00:33:21,497 I've got some really important people waiting on us. 947 00:33:22,377 --> 00:33:24,577 (ALL GREETING) JIMMY: Look who I have? Dougie-Doug-Doug! 948 00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:25,588 ENDO: Dougie Fresh! 949 00:33:25,672 --> 00:33:26,714 Doug, you look great, man. 950 00:33:26,798 --> 00:33:27,840 You're losing weight, fat ass. 951 00:33:27,924 --> 00:33:29,164 ENDO: Oh, he had to lose weight. 952 00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:31,761 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) Ow! 953 00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:34,347 All right. All right, stop. 954 00:33:34,430...