Clerks II

687 00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:57,614 you're gonna say "fugly," aren't you? 688 00:31:57,615 --> 00:31:58,715 Unconventional! 689 00:31:58,716 --> 00:31:59,983 Ah, nice backpedal. 690 00:31:59,984 --> 00:32:01,718 Thank you. 691 00:32:01,719 --> 00:32:03,420 It took her a few years 692 00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:04,755 to finally figure out that thing 693 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,857 that every mother tries to teach their little girl 694 00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:08,225 but she has to learn on her own, 695 00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:10,594 and that's that guys that look like you 696 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,662 have a lot more to offer, because you'll always 697 00:32:12,663 --> 00:32:14,231 try harder than the pretty boy. 698 00:32:14,232 --> 00:32:17,034 What am I, some hideous fucking CHUD over here? 699 00:32:17,035 --> 00:32:20,003 No, you're a catch... kind of. 700 00:32:20,004 --> 00:32:22,406 And Emma's a catch, too. 701 00:32:22,407 --> 00:32:24,441 'Cause not only is she pretty, but... 702 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:27,010 she'll make all your decisions for you. 703 00:32:27,010 --> 00:32:29,880 Which is lucky, because you're pretty terrible 704 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,782 at making decisions. 705 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,750 So my last day is all about you telling me 706 00:32:33,750 --> 00:32:35,980 what an ugly, indecisive loser I am? 707 00:32:36,654 --> 00:32:38,522 Come on, you worked at Quick Stop 708 00:32:38,523 --> 00:32:40,123 for, like, a decade, 709 00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:43,427 and you've been here for a year almost, 710 00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:45,996 and since day one at both jobs, 711 00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:47,731 all you've ever said is how you needed 712 00:32:47,732 --> 00:32:49,166 to get out and start your life. 713 00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:51,401 And it wasn't until Emma walked through the door and was, 714 00:32:51,402 --> 00:32:53,036 like, "Come down to Florida with me, 715 00:32:53,037 --> 00:32:54,404 "and I'll fuck your brains out, 716 00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:56,673 and my daddy will give you a job, and blah-blah," 717 00:32:56,674 --> 00:32:58,875 that you actually went and did something about it. 718 00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:00,310 And I get it... it's... 719 00:33:00,310 --> 00:33:03,380 she's your golden ticket, dude. 720 00:33:03,380 --> 00:33:05,314 So, uh... 721 00:33:05,783 --> 00:33:07,750 ...what's that make you? 722 00:33:09,820 --> 00:33:13,990 I'm just the girl who fucks ugly, indecisive losers 723 00:33:13,990 --> 00:33:17,289 in the kitchen once this place is closed. 724 00:33:17,962 --> 00:33:19,554 That's me. 725 00:33:24,802 --> 00:33:27,671 That's something for the lovers out there. 726 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:29,840 J-RAM Radio. Right around high noon... 727 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,640 So, we're never gonna talk about it, are we? 728 00:33:34,745 --> 00:33:37,914 What is there to say? 729 00:33:37,915 --> 00:33:39,816 Do you regret it? 730 00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:41,585 Do you? 731 00:33:41,586 --> 00:33:44,588 I regret that it was on the prep station table. 732 00:33:44,589 --> 00:33:46,389 Yeah, you regret it... you weren't the one 733 00:33:46,390 --> 00:33:48,118 who got mayo in your cooch. 734 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:59,469 What do you want me to say? 735 00:33:59,470 --> 00:34:01,505 We were drunk, you know? 736 00:34:01,506 --> 00:34:03,440 It just kind of happened. 737 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,775 You're just lucky 738 00:34:05,776 --> 00:34:08,378 I'm not one of those monogamists like your girlfriend. 739 00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:11,581 Otherwise, I might try to make you stay in Jersey. 740 00:34:11,582 --> 00:34:14,312 If anyone could do it, it'd be you. 741 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:27,029 Dude, your old lady's out here looking for you. 742 00:34:31,469 --> 00:34:33,163 743 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:41,401 Come outside with me. I've got a surprise for you. 744 00:34:51,789 --> 00:34:53,857 That's my surprise? 745 00:34:53,858 --> 00:34:55,882 No. 746 00:34:56,727 --> 00:35:00,492 Goodbye, horses... 747 00:35:06,504 --> 00:35:08,232 Hey. 748 00:35:09,207 --> 00:35:10,740 Oh. 749 00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:12,842 So, um... 750 00:35:12,843 --> 00:35:15,478 are you looking for a good Transformers site? 751 00:35:15,479 --> 00:35:18,548 Because at CarsToBots.com, 752 00:35:18,549 --> 00:35:21,351 you can get an avatar 753 00:35:21,352 --> 00:35:25,555 that's your picture morphed to look like a robot. 754 00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,057 Come on, man. 755 00:35:27,058 --> 00:35:28,825 You know I only surf Transformers sites 756 00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:32,727 when there's girls around, so they can see how cool I am. 757 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,399 So what are you doing then? 758 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,869 Trying to secure a going away present for Mr. Dante. ...