22 Jump Street

00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:44,828 Dude, I'm so fucking pumped you're gonna be on this fucking team, bro. 790 00:36:44,912 --> 00:36:45,954 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 791 00:36:46,038 --> 00:36:47,164 Yep. 792 00:36:52,419 --> 00:36:53,504 What's up with it? 793 00:36:53,587 --> 00:36:54,713 [SNORTS] 794 00:36:54,797 --> 00:36:55,839 How you doing? 795 00:36:55,923 --> 00:36:57,758 Hi. Good. 796 00:36:57,841 --> 00:37:00,260 How was the, um...? 797 00:37:01,303 --> 00:37:02,596 How was the sex for you? 798 00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:05,182 It was fun for me. It was a good time. 799 00:37:06,183 --> 00:37:08,352 - Yeah, right. - I enjoyed it. 800 00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:09,395 Yeah. 801 00:37:10,604 --> 00:37:13,273 - This is why I don't drink. - Oh. 802 00:37:13,357 --> 00:37:15,359 Hey. How you doing? 803 00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:16,610 I'm fine. 804 00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:19,905 I mean, I'm not listening to you guys fornicate all night long. 805 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,199 - Thrusting and pumping. - Okay. 806 00:37:22,282 --> 00:37:24,410 I thought your hip popped out at one point. 807 00:37:24,493 --> 00:37:26,328 I'm just saying, it's all fun and games, 808 00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:29,164 and then you wake up in bed next to a 40-year-old freshman. 809 00:37:29,248 --> 00:37:31,083 I'm 19, so... 810 00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:33,085 Nineteen minutes late to pinochle, 811 00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:35,462 where you're meeting your old friends in the park? 812 00:37:35,546 --> 00:37:37,089 Yeah, that's what I meant. 813 00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:40,884 Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him. He's still so sharp. That's so inspiring. 814 00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:43,720 Tell us about the war, any one of them. 815 00:37:43,804 --> 00:37:46,098 You're, like, the loudest climaxer I've ever heard. 816 00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:49,268 It was, like, the sound of, like, a 30-year-old sprinkler 817 00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:51,019 finally going off for the first time. 818 00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:56,024 Okay, well, so lovely talking with you. 819 00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:58,777 - You're a lovely person. - Hm. 820 00:37:58,861 --> 00:38:00,487 Nice to meet you. 821 00:38:00,571 --> 00:38:02,739 - [DOOR OPENS] - Oh, my God. 822 00:38:02,823 --> 00:38:04,575 - She seems nice. - [DOOR CLOSES] 823 00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:06,160 She's horrible. 824 00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:08,120 God. 825 00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:09,371 She was Cynthia's roommate, 826 00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:12,332 and I felt bad for her, so I told her I would room with her. 827 00:38:12,416 --> 00:38:13,584 So... 828 00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:19,047 So you probably have a bunch of stuff that you have to do today. 829 00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:20,215 - Right? - No. 830 00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:21,675 Oh. Okay. 831 00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:23,594 - Um... - Look, I just want you to know 832 00:38:23,677 --> 00:38:27,264 I'm not, like, a "hit it and quit it" type of fella. 833 00:38:27,347 --> 00:38:28,515 I'm, like, a "hit it, 834 00:38:28,599 --> 00:38:32,561 continue to hit it both physically and emotionally" kind of guy, so... 835 00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,938 Hey, Doug, you're not gonna be weird about this, are you? 836 00:38:36,023 --> 00:38:38,484 - No. - I mean, you're cool with just hooking up? 837 00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:41,487 Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm glad you said something. 838 00:38:41,570 --> 00:38:42,988 I don't even know if I like you when I'm sober. 839 00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:46,200 No, I know, and it's like, that doesn't even hurt, like, at all. 840 00:38:46,283 --> 00:38:48,368 Okay, so, um... 841 00:38:48,452 --> 00:38:51,455 I'm gonna... I'm gonna split. I'll text you later. 842 00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:55,626 Um... Great, that was great sex. You're good at it. 843 00:38:55,709 --> 00:38:57,377 And I'll text you, three to five minutes or something? 844 00:38:57,461 --> 00:38:58,378 All right. 845 00:38:58,462 --> 00:39:00,464 [♪♪♪] 846 00:39:18,732 --> 00:39:19,900 What the fuck is this? 847 00:39:21,068 --> 00:39:22,778 This is bullshit. 848 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:26,657 Are you two fucking around at school again? Hey, we got to pay for this shit. 849 00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:28,534 - We need results! - No, no, no. 850 00:39:28,617 --> 00:39:32,955 Look, we are looking aggressively for this very specific tattoo. 851 00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:35,582 Or the tattoo could just be a dead end. 852 00:39:35,666 --> 00:39:38,460 What the fuck? It's the same case! 853 00:39:38,544 --> 00:39:39,711 Do the same thing. 854 00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:45,551 Well, it's not exactly the same case because, uh, one of us got laid last night. 855 00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:47,010 Schmidt? 856 00:39:47,094 --> 00:39:49,555 Shh. Don't wake up my dick. 857 00:39:49,638 --> 00:39:52,057 Flew in on the red-e...