Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

But this is 24-hour news station... 791 00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,510 This is history. 792 00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:30,721 This is like Columbus discovering the New World. 793 00:40:30,804 --> 00:40:35,726 And the captain of this fantastic voyage is the best newsman in America, 794 00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:37,353 Mr. Jack Lime! 795 00:40:38,604 --> 00:40:40,939 Go get 'em, Jack! Go get 'em! 796 00:40:41,482 --> 00:40:44,026 Thank you. And good luck to Ron Burgundy, too. 797 00:40:46,028 --> 00:40:47,571 <i>Getting nervous there, compadre?</i> 798 00:40:48,906 --> 00:40:50,032 Let's do this. 799 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,534 Did you see that? How he spun on that desk? So great. 800 00:40:52,618 --> 00:40:54,203 All right. Quiet on the floor, please. 801 00:40:55,537 --> 00:40:56,747 All right. 802 00:40:56,830 --> 00:40:58,582 All right. We're up. Here we go, here we go. 803 00:40:58,749 --> 00:41:02,378 In five, four, three, two... 804 00:41:04,046 --> 00:41:06,882 Good day, and welcome to GNN. 805 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:10,844 Thank you for joining us on what we believe to be a whole new era of news. 806 00:41:11,178 --> 00:41:12,388 I'm Jack Lime, 807 00:41:12,471 --> 00:41:16,850 your guide for this journey of events we humbly call 24-hour news. 808 00:41:16,934 --> 00:41:18,894 <i>Today's top story, Mount St. Helene.</i> 809 00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:22,022 This is just a gimmick. It's a flash in the pan. 810 00:41:22,106 --> 00:41:23,440 We better hope so. 811 00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:25,109 <i>Residents are being asked to evacuate the area...</i> 812 00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:26,819 Twenty-four hours of news. 813 00:41:26,902 --> 00:41:29,655 How are they gonna keep coming up with this stuff? 814 00:41:29,738 --> 00:41:32,991 My guess is they'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel. 815 00:41:33,075 --> 00:41:35,744 No, I have a feeling they'll stick with their integrity 816 00:41:35,828 --> 00:41:38,580 and only report the news that needs to be reported. 817 00:41:39,123 --> 00:41:40,165 Let's see here. 818 00:41:40,249 --> 00:41:44,294 "Global temperatures rise half a degree, alarm climate scientists." Boring. 819 00:41:44,795 --> 00:41:47,589 "China could dominate the world economy in the next decade." 820 00:41:50,384 --> 00:41:51,427 Nope. 821 00:41:51,802 --> 00:41:52,928 Anyone else? 822 00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:54,555 What if we show a porno instead of the news? 823 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:55,681 Freddie? 824 00:41:55,931 --> 00:41:57,683 No. Absolutely not. 825 00:41:58,225 --> 00:42:00,853 I know. What if we get one of those wildlife handlers? 826 00:42:00,936 --> 00:42:03,981 We have him bring in big game cats. 827 00:42:04,064 --> 00:42:08,360 You know, wild, dangerous tigers and lions and leopards and the such. 828 00:42:08,444 --> 00:42:12,156 We let them loose inside the studio with about a dozen chickens. 829 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:16,076 We play rock music. And we just call it Let Her <i>Rip.</i> 830 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,078 I'd watch that. I'd watch that. 831 00:42:18,162 --> 00:42:19,496 <i>Let Her Rip?</i> 832 00:42:19,580 --> 00:42:23,167 You're describing the end of civilization. That's not news! 833 00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:24,835 If that's the end of times, I'm... 834 00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:28,255 I got a front-row seat with a big tub of buttered popcorn 835 00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:31,383 and a greasy half-live chicken leg. 836 00:42:31,467 --> 00:42:33,844 Okay, so obviously this is a waste of time. I'm done. 837 00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:35,053 Freddie! Come on! 838 00:42:35,137 --> 00:42:36,597 We're just brainstorming here. 839 00:42:36,805 --> 00:42:39,391 We're trying to figure out how to make the news less boring, 840 00:42:39,475 --> 00:42:41,643 and you act like we peed in your milkshake. 841 00:42:41,894 --> 00:42:44,104 The news is supposed to be boring, Ron! 842 00:42:44,188 --> 00:42:45,772 This is serious stuff. 843 00:42:46,148 --> 00:42:48,442 You're the one that made this stupid bet! 844 00:42:48,692 --> 00:42:53,864 I just don't know why we have to tell the people what they need to hear. 845 00:42:54,156 --> 00:42:56,617 Why can't we just tell them what they want to hear? 846 00:42:57,451 --> 00:42:59,161 Wait, wait, wait. 847 00:43:00,704 --> 00:43:01,955 Say that again. 848 00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:07,503 I said, why do we have to tell the people what they need to hear? 849 00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:10,172 Why can't we just tell them what they want to hear? 850 00:43:10,339 --> 00:43:12,216 And what do they want to hear, Ron? 851 00:43:12,466 --> 00:43:15,469 That we live in the greatest country God ever created. 852 00:43:16,053 --> 00:43:18,514 - Damn straight! - Made him happy. 853 00:43:18,764 --> 00:43:20,849 And we should do stories on patriots. ...