Dirty Grandpa

709 00:29:19,927 --> 00:29:21,993 They're just seniors, 710 00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:23,161 and they're all just terrified and speed-fucking each other 711 00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:24,393 before the ship goes down. 712 00:29:24,394 --> 00:29:25,893 Didn't you ever go on Spring Break? 713 00:29:25,894 --> 00:29:27,293 No, I didn't go to Spring Break, 714 00:29:27,294 --> 00:29:28,925 'cause I was studying for law school. 715 00:29:28,926 --> 00:29:30,225 Besides, I can't chug alcohol anymore 716 00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:31,859 like I used to, Grandpa. 717 00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:33,859 I've developed, like, a gag reflex. 718 00:29:33,860 --> 00:29:35,159 - A gag reflex? - Yeah. 719 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,759 You're chugging a beer, 720 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,694 not taking down a horse cock, Jason. 721 00:29:38,127 --> 00:29:40,126 Come on. 722 00:29:49,792 --> 00:29:51,090 Go Hornets! 723 00:29:51,091 --> 00:29:52,856 Go Hornets, yeah... 724 00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:54,889 Hey, you know, one in three of these girls has herpes. 725 00:29:54,890 --> 00:29:56,190 Even if you can't see it. 726 00:29:56,191 --> 00:29:57,822 Jesus. Nut the fuck up. 727 00:29:57,823 --> 00:29:59,958 It's just a college party, you nance. Chill! 728 00:30:00,290 --> 00:30:03,122 Hey, here they are. 729 00:30:03,123 --> 00:30:05,921 I'm gonna get some beers. What about you, twinkle toes? 730 00:30:05,922 --> 00:30:08,920 You want some of dat drank? Some of dat purple drank? 731 00:30:08,921 --> 00:30:10,753 Some of dat purple-ass muthafuckin' 732 00:30:10,754 --> 00:30:12,523 pimp-dick drank? 733 00:30:13,423 --> 00:30:16,189 Who the fuck are you? 734 00:30:19,987 --> 00:30:21,521 It's a pretty rockin' party. 735 00:30:22,688 --> 00:30:24,086 Whoo. 736 00:30:24,087 --> 00:30:25,454 Who let the dogs out? 737 00:30:25,887 --> 00:30:27,154 Am I right? 738 00:30:41,152 --> 00:30:42,383 Sir, before we start, would you prefer 739 00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:44,350 if we gave you a spritzer to chug? 740 00:30:44,351 --> 00:30:45,985 Maybe a Pinot Noir? 741 00:30:51,784 --> 00:30:52,948 You're going down, old man. 742 00:30:52,949 --> 00:30:54,882 Nobody chugs like me. 743 00:30:54,883 --> 00:30:57,717 I bet. You've been chugging Brah's cum for years. 744 00:31:00,382 --> 00:31:01,549 Let's go. 745 00:31:04,414 --> 00:31:05,415 Chug! 746 00:31:05,748 --> 00:31:06,682 Chug! 747 00:31:07,181 --> 00:31:08,316 Chug! 748 00:31:08,848 --> 00:31:09,982 Chug! 749 00:31:13,881 --> 00:31:16,546 Go! Go! Chug! 750 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:15,673 It's actually kind of fun. 751 00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:25,538 Yeah, I'm not really, you know, for sure, 752 00:32:26,838 --> 00:32:28,171 per say... 753 00:32:28,172 --> 00:32:29,605 ...what we're doing after graduation. 754 00:32:30,737 --> 00:32:32,336 I mean, 755 00:32:32,337 --> 00:32:34,070 - we have offers to play... - Blah, blah, blah... 756 00:32:34,071 --> 00:32:36,169 ...professional lacrosse in Europe, 757 00:32:36,170 --> 00:32:37,170 but a bunch of agents 758 00:32:37,171 --> 00:32:38,202 Words, words, words... 759 00:32:38,203 --> 00:32:40,869 also want us to start modeling, so... 760 00:32:40,870 --> 00:32:42,937 And again, we're talking about this fat fuck right here? 761 00:32:44,236 --> 00:32:47,703 You guys... You have to come see this right now. 762 00:33:04,834 --> 00:33:07,765 All right, our team won! 763 00:33:07,766 --> 00:33:11,398 Let's celebrate by buying local drugs 764 00:33:11,399 --> 00:33:14,898 from a reputable, local drug dealer. 765 00:33:14,899 --> 00:33:17,165 Hey, what are you doing here? 766 00:33:18,032 --> 00:33:19,297 I'm selling drugs, man. 767 00:33:19,298 --> 00:33:20,964 I'm trying to put my kid through preschool. 768 00:33:21,931 --> 00:33:24,064 How honest is that! 769 00:33:24,065 --> 00:33:25,230 Touching my face a lot, bro. 770 00:33:25,231 --> 00:33:27,163 Touching my face a whole lot, man. 771 00:33:27,164 --> 00:33:28,096 Why don't you take some of this. 772 00:33:28,097 --> 00:33:29,262 This'll mellow you out. 773 00:33:29,263 --> 00:33:31,263 - What is it? - E-cig, bro. 774 00:33:31,264 --> 00:33:32,564 "E" is for "Weed"! 775 00:33:33,729 --> 00:33:34,530 Sure, why not? 776 00:33:38,096 --> 00:33:41,463 Yeah, that's a big... That's a big one. 777 00:33:45,927 --> 00:33:48,060 Whoo! 778 00:33:48,061 --> 00:33:51,159 Just be glad you didn't smoke this, man. This is crack! 779 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,027 - What? - Yeah! 780 00:33:53,028 --> 00:33:54,595 This one... Wait a minute... 781 00:33:56,794 --> 00:34:00,059 Maybe that one's crack and this one's weed. 782 00:34:00,060 --> 00:34:02,326 Hang on. What'd you do now, Pam? 783 00:34:02,327 --> 00:34:04,294 Fuck. Hold on. Which one's crack? 784 00:34:06,892...