Along Came Polly

<i>Think about today instead</i> 493 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,005 WONSUK: Sandy? SANDY: What? 494 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,840 I'm playing Jesus. That's my song. 495 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:37,211 I know it's your song, but I felt something and decided to go with it. 496 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:38,771 But you're playing Judas. 497 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,566 Judas. Look, here's the deal. I'm the star of the show, okay? 498 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:47,049 So if I decide to bust out a solo, give me the freedom to rock out. 499 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,890 From the top, Wonsuk. 500 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,687 - So the play's going well? - Yeah, I think it's gonna be fun. 501 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,843 I just wish they wouldn't surround me with a bunch of amateurs. 502 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,810 Isn't that the point of community theatre? 503 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,041 Whatever. 504 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:04,051 REUBEN: So I'm going on a date with Polly. SANDY: All right! Where you taking her? 505 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,245 Some restaurant in the East Village. She left the address on my machine. 506 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,011 How could you let Polly pick the restaurant? 507 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,326 I had no choice. 508 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,243 She called me seven times to confirm 509 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,169 and then cancel and then confirm again. 510 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,561 Why? What's wrong with letting her pick the place? 511 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,365 You've got irritable bowel syndrome, dude. 512 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,603 If she chose an ethnic restaurant, 513 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,923 you'll be running to the bathroom every five seconds. 514 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,969 Oh, my God. You're right. 515 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,245 Thank you. 516 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,164 I doubt it will get this far 517 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,050 but if she turns out to be easier than I thought... 518 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,009 there's something you need to know. 519 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,447 - I'm not a virgin, Sandy. - Not technically 520 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,847 but times have changed since you were last single. 521 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,285 Now listen... 522 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,890 when I'm making out with a girl for the first time, 523 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,281 I like to give her a little spanking. 524 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,084 - What? - Nothing violent. 525 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:58,050 Just tap her real light on the tush and say, 526 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,283 "Hey, I'm your daddy." 527 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,490 Listen to me. 528 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,526 SANDY: What are you doing? REUBEN: I'm blotting the grease. 529 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,286 That's the best part. Don't be shy. It's just a little tap. 530 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,249 It's like saying, "Boop, I'm your daddy." 531 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:13,401 I'm not gonna tap her. 532 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,130 Brings them right back to childhood. 533 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,044 Trust me, they're putty in your hands after that. 534 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,971 I'm really excited about this. 535 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,281 I feel like this could be one of those... 536 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,483 defining moments of my life, or something, you know? 537 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:31,120 I actually think it's not gonna work out, but I'm pulling for you. 538 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,845 Just pray to God she doesn't go ethnic. 539 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,164 - The place didn't sound ethnic. - What was the name? 540 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,401 AI Hafez. 541 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,483 (ARABIAN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 542 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,927 - So, when did you live in Morocco? - In the late '90s. 543 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,049 I bounced around to a bunch of places over the past few years. 544 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,003 - Like where? - Oh, God, where? 545 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:56,722 Let's see, Austin, Istanbul, Sri Lanka, Portland, 546 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,241 Costa Rica, Buffalo, a couple other places. 547 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,608 - Wow. Were you in the Peace Corps? - No, I just like to move a lot. 548 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,763 I get stir-crazy if I'm stuck in one place too long, you know? 549 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,251 Yeah, completely. 550 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,890 REUBEN: Remember, you were the person who... 551 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,166 POLLY: Oh, my God! 552 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,681 I can't believe you remember that. 553 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,446 Of course! You were the greatest delegate in Model UN history. 554 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,683 POLLY: I guess I did manage to pass a few re