Kajillionaire

knees. I'm using mine. It's so nice. 404 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:08,718 You have something nice and crunchy to eat? 405 00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:11,930 I can't see your face very well. It's so dark. 406 00:32:12,055 --> 00:32:14,433 - The light's broken. - Oh. 407 00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:16,059 Mmm. All right. 408 00:32:16,143 --> 00:32:19,229 I'm ordering you a stick-on light, like the one in your old room. 409 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:24,025 Okay, I know just which one. What time is it there? 410 00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:25,944 Our schedules are so out of sync. 411 00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,196 I know you feel better when we're lined up, 412 00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,323 - but that's impossible now. - Yeah. I got it. 413 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:34,786 Okay, so it'll come tues... No. Yes. Tuesday. 414 00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:37,372 Did you get the case of iced tea? 415 00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:39,791 I saw something this morning that made me think of you. 416 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,918 This is gonna make you so happy. 417 00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:45,213 Type in "vemo infusion pitcher." 418 00:32:45,338 --> 00:32:46,756 Click on the bottom picture, 419 00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:51,303 and then zoom in, zoom in, zoom back to... 420 00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:52,679 Oh! 421 00:32:52,762 --> 00:32:56,057 This guy's old rocking chair, it's worth a half a million. 422 00:32:57,726 --> 00:32:59,811 He's so surprised. He had no... 423 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:05,567 I have a heist we can do to get the 1,500. 424 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,237 I'm just gonna start talking. Okay. 425 00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:14,284 So, I'm not a physician's assistant. 426 00:33:14,367 --> 00:33:16,203 I don't even know why I said that. Anyway. 427 00:33:16,786 --> 00:33:19,372 I work at Abram's optics in the galleria, 428 00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:21,434 which if you don't know is the worst branch there is. 429 00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:22,810 Honestly, I'm wasting my life there. 430 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,962 And I just sell bifocals to aggro old people all day. 431 00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:29,674 Mean but also super lonely and desperate, you know? 432 00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:32,260 Like, I've been invited to Easters and to Mah-Jongg 433 00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:35,013 and to look at scrapbooks and... I don't go, because it's gross, 434 00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:38,850 but if I did, I bet you that I would find mad antiques. 435 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,269 - Huh. - Yeah. 436 00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:43,939 I mean, not super fancy ones, but... 437 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,233 I have a feeling that if I said I liked something, 438 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,360 they would give it to me for free or cheap, 439 00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:51,696 and then we can sell it and turn a tidy profit. 440 00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:54,699 Boom! 441 00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:58,245 Who do we sell the antiques to? 442 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:03,416 We can... we can get a stall at the flea market. 443 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,752 I love the flea market. It is so indie. 444 00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:07,837 That is a great idea. 445 00:34:08,547 --> 00:34:10,423 It is tremendous. 446 00:34:10,507 --> 00:34:12,801 - Right? - Three-way split. 447 00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:16,471 Oh, yeah, sure. Of course. No problem. 448 00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:19,391 It's like an internship. 449 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,685 I'm Melanie. 450 00:34:21,810 --> 00:34:24,646 All right, okay. Melanie. Meet Old Dolio. 451 00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,732 - Old... what? - Dolio. 452 00:34:27,816 --> 00:34:29,276 Old Dolio. 453 00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:32,070 Okay. I like that. I like that. 454 00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:35,115 See, this is exactly the kind of thing 455 00:34:35,198 --> 00:34:36,866 that I've been wanting... 456 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:39,911 - -Don't touch! - Don't touch the table. 457 00:34:40,036 --> 00:34:41,806 I've been through tremors a lot smaller than this. 458 00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:43,873 It just turns everything electric. It's like zap. 459 00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:46,806 'Cause this is the way the big one starts. 460 00:34:46,876 --> 00:34:48,044 The noise, 461 00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:50,505 it just keeps building and building and building. 462 00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,275 But this one's not building. 463 00:34:52,299 --> 00:34:56,261 The big one will be loud. If you're lucky, you'll get crushed. 464 00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:58,972 And then you just die right then and there. 465 00:34:59,681 --> 00:35:02,475 Immediately, a never-ending void. 466 00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:05,145 Wow. So... yolo! 467 00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:07,105 Am I right? 468 00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:10,984 They are real characters. Super unique. 469 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,569 But you vouch for them, right?