Wet Hot American Summer

My husband's coming today and I need some lube. 496 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,578 For my pussy. 497 00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:35,917 Oh, cool! 498 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:39,504 Beth's going into town. Let's go! Beth, wait, wait! 499 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:46,093 No, no, no. No, no, no, no. 500 00:30:46,303 --> 00:30:49,096 Come on, Coop! Come on! 501 00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,607 Whoo! 502 00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:07,592 Come on. 503 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,293 Hey, guys, how was Waterville? 504 00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:43,461 It was really fun. 505 00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:46,380 It's always fun to get away from camp, even for an hour. 506 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:51,510 Hey, Katie! I'll see you later, maybe? 507 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,179 Definitely. 508 00:32:57,601 --> 00:32:59,268 Hey, you guys, wait up! 509 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:09,695 How far away is this goddamn river? 510 00:33:09,780 --> 00:33:11,864 It's at least two hours, Vic. 511 00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:13,324 Please. Try to forget about Abby. 512 00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:16,452 I can't, Neil, okay? This is my only chance. 513 00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:18,245 What are you talking about? 514 00:33:18,789 --> 00:33:21,332 I'm gonna tell you something, but I swear to God, if you tell anybody... 515 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,833 I swear to God! 516 00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,168 What? 517 00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:29,256 I'm a virgin. 518 00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:33,511 You're joking. Right, dude? 519 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:37,098 You're the stallion. You've had like 50 or 60 women, so I mean... 520 00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:39,725 Actually, it's closer to 521 00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:41,519 zero. 522 00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:45,690 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 523 00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:47,775 You're a loser. You are a loser! 524 00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:50,611 Oh, my God. Don't! 525 00:33:51,988 --> 00:33:53,322 You're such a loser. 526 00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:03,749 What? 527 00:34:03,834 --> 00:34:04,875 What? 528 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,253 You listen to me, Mr. Kickass. 529 00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:09,547 Mr. Rubber-burner. 530 00:34:09,631 --> 00:34:12,091 You wipe that hotshot grin off your face or I'll shoot it off you. 531 00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:14,719 You got that? Now finish up them taters. 532 00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:16,095 I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters. 533 00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:17,388 Come on. What? 534 00:34:17,472 --> 00:34:19,390 Finish up the taters. And then what did you say? 535 00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:20,516 And then what did I say? 536 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,727 You said you were gonna go fondle your sweaters. 537 00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:25,312 I... No, I didn't. 538 00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:27,690 I said I'm gonna fondue with cheddar. 539 00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:30,234 I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight. 540 00:34:30,318 --> 00:34:31,944 No, Gene, that is not what you said. 541 00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,487 It is what I said. 542 00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:36,282 Fondue with cheddar. 543 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,117 Okay, fine. 544 00:34:42,205 --> 00:34:43,330 Okay, see you later. 545 00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:45,875 See you. 546 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:50,963 I'm just gonna stop by my bunk for a real quick sec. 547 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:55,342 Maybe you should talk to him. 548 00:34:56,011 --> 00:35:00,431 So, then, Rabbi Rothstein says, "Sim, sim, sim, sim, ata..." 549 00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:03,392 Hey, McKinley. 550 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:04,518 Did you take that shower yet? 551 00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:05,728 Yeah, of course. 552 00:35:06,897 --> 00:35:08,189 Did you? 553 00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,191 No. Take a shower. 554 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:16,906 Sorry, folks for the "coitus interruptus," if you will. 555 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,366 I know you're all hungry for the picnic, 556 00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:22,036 so don't eat too many barbecued bovine muscles. 557 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,622 Those being hamburgers. Thank you. 558 00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:31,879 Gail, if I could just interject something here. 559 00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:35,508 This is gonna sound like I'm putting down my own gender, 560 00:35:35,592 --> 00:35:40,262 but the truth is, a lot of the time men can be real, 561 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:43,432 and excuse the Yiddish, insensitive schmucks. 562 00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:45,643 It's true. 563 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:48,020 I know. I know. 564 00:35:49,105 --> 00:35:51,774 It's just that I'm 34-years-old, you know? 565 00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:56,195 I'm just afraid I'm never gonna meet anybody. 566 00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,614 Shh. Just breathe. It's so sad. 567 00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:03,786 Breathe. Shh. Just breathe. 568 00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:04,870 Feels so good. 569 00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:07,248 Oh, God! 570 00:36:08,208 --> 00:36:10,000 Your hands are magic. 571 00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:11,544 There you go. 572 00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:13,254 You, my friend, are a magician.