Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill

615 00:39:54,472 --> 00:39:57,999 # Joyfully we... 616 00:39:58,042 --> 00:40:02,035 # Lark abooouuut ? 617 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,776 - (Applause) - And... 618 00:40:06,584 --> 00:40:09,052 (Applause continues) 619 00:40:09,087 --> 00:40:12,545 No, it s... It s just not kicking, is it? 620 00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:16,117 God must be up there going, "What on earth is that?" 621 00:40:17,095 --> 00:40:20,861 God, who is James Mason, "What on earth is that, Jesus? 622 00:40:20,898 --> 00:40:24,129 "Jesus Christ, what on earth is that?" 623 00:40:24,168 --> 00:40:26,966 "Don t take my name in vain, Dad." 624 00:40:27,004 --> 00:40:29,734 "Jeezy Chreezy, what on earth is that?" 625 00:40:29,774 --> 00:40:31,833 "Don t call me Jeezy Chreezy either. 626 00:40:31,876 --> 00:40:34,743 "I went down, told them to hang out, drink wine, 627 00:40:34,779 --> 00:40:38,044 "they split into groups - Catholics, Protestants, 628 00:40:38,116 --> 00:40:41,677 "Jesuits, Methodists, Evangelicals, Free Presbyterians, 629 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:43,778 "the Locked-Up Presbyterians. 630 00:40:43,821 --> 00:40:47,018 "The Quakers, the Bakers, the Candlestick Makers. 631 00:40:47,058 --> 00:40:51,154 "The Mormons are from Mars, Dad, we ve had it checked out." 632 00:40:51,195 --> 00:40:53,663 "What does the Holy Ghost think of all this?" 633 00:40:53,731 --> 00:40:56,723 "He s useless, got a sheet over his head." 634 00:40:56,768 --> 00:40:59,464 "Whoooo...Holy Ghost! Holy Ghost! 635 00:40:59,504 --> 00:41:01,631 "Holy Gho-o-o-ost!" 636 00:41:03,474 --> 00:41:07,274 "Holy Ghost, this is not an episode of Scooby-Doo." 637 00:41:10,148 --> 00:41:14,517 "I would ve succeeded if it wasn t for that pesky God and Jesus." 638 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,380 Shaggy and Scooby are interesting characters, 639 00:41:19,423 --> 00:41:23,325 two of the most major characters in American literature. 640 00:41:23,361 --> 00:41:28,765 I think it s fantastic, because they are cowardly characters. 641 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,826 They believe in cowardice and sandwiches. 642 00:41:32,870 --> 00:41:36,567 Can you think of any in the realm of English-speaking literature, 643 00:41:36,607 --> 00:41:40,043 cowardly characters that you identify with? 644 00:41:40,077 --> 00:41:43,410 You re with them all the way - "Go, Shaggy! Go, Scooby!" 645 00:41:43,447 --> 00:41:46,814 The rest of the guys who drive the van? "Fuck off." 646 00:41:47,785 --> 00:41:49,776 Scrappy-Doo - a Magnum. 647 00:41:49,821 --> 00:41:51,812 Boom! 648 00:41:53,124 --> 00:41:55,092 "Thank you, Grandad." 649 00:41:55,126 --> 00:41:57,492 (Delayed laughter) 650 00:41:57,528 --> 00:41:59,120 Well remembered. 651 00:41:59,163 --> 00:42:03,224 If you can think of any other character, I m willing to learn. 652 00:42:03,267 --> 00:42:07,067 Somebody said Falstaff, a Shakespearean character. 653 00:42:07,104 --> 00:42:09,265 It s that level of greatness. 654 00:42:09,307 --> 00:42:12,799 Falstaff you sort of identify with but he s melancholy. 655 00:42:12,844 --> 00:42:15,836 But Shaggy and Scooby are upbeat all the time. 656 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,873 "Rrroh, rroh, Shaggy, Scooby Snack! Rrroww-wow-wow!!" 657 00:42:19,917 --> 00:42:22,112 You love them, you re with them. 658 00:42:22,153 --> 00:42:25,919 There s part of us that s Shaggy and Scooby at every stage. 659 00:42:25,957 --> 00:42:27,948 So if you travel round the world - 660 00:42:27,992 --> 00:42:31,758 your American foreign policy does give you a difficult time - 661 00:42:31,796 --> 00:42:35,288 two tricks. One, say you re Canadian. That helps. 662 00:42:36,968 --> 00:42:38,959 It works in Europe, it s very good. 663 00:42:39,003 --> 00:42:41,164 The second is say, "Shaggy and Scooby." 664 00:42:41,205 --> 00:42:43,196 They go, "Shaggy and Scooby?" 665 00:42:44,242 --> 00:42:46,335 lnternational credit card. 666 00:42:47,812 --> 00:42:49,643 So, yeah. 667 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:54,481 So the pagan religion, it was this earthy thing. 668 00:42:54,518 --> 00:42:57,453 But Christianity is split into many areas. 669 00:42:57,488 --> 00:43:00,821 Catholicism still has the fire and brimstone - ? Boom-boom boom-boom 670 00:43:00,858 --> 00:43:03,156 "Row, you bastards!" 671 00:43:05,429 --> 00:43:07,761 Original sin - what a hellish idea. 672 00:43:07,798 --> 00:43:10,426 "Father, bless me, for I have sinned. 673 00:43:10,468 --> 00:43:14,131 "I did an original sin, I poked a badger with a spoon." 674 00:43:15,072 --> 00:43:17,939 "I ve never heard of that one before. 675 00:43:17,975 --> 00:43:20,443 "Five Hail Marys and two Hello Dollys." 676 00:43:20,478 --> 00:43:22,469 "All right." 677 00:43:24,248 --> 00:43:27,274 "Bless me, for I slept with my neighbor s wife." 678 00:43:27,318 --> 00:43:29,183 "Heard