The Onion Movie

393 00:25:09,373 --> 00:25:12,240 <i>And they can shoot laser beams out of their eyes.</i> 394 00:25:12,309 --> 00:25:16,143 <i>And, of course, all Arabs are terrorists.</i> 395 00:25:16,213 --> 00:25:20,013 <i>Ah, stereotypes. Can you imagine a world without them?</i> 396 00:25:28,926 --> 00:25:32,054 Okay, that must be our final player. 397 00:25:37,201 --> 00:25:39,135 - Hi, Julie! - Hi. 398 00:25:39,203 --> 00:25:41,467 - Welcome. - Oh, your house is so lovely. 399 00:25:41,539 --> 00:25:44,030 Oh, thank you! Come on in. 400 00:25:44,108 --> 00:25:47,043 - Everybody, this is Julie. - Hi. 401 00:25:47,111 --> 00:25:49,511 - Pretty cute, huh? - Hi, Julie. 402 00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:52,413 Have a seat. So, I understand this is your first whodunit party? 403 00:25:52,483 --> 00:25:54,542 Ah, you are gonna have so much fun! Okay! 404 00:25:54,618 --> 00:25:58,554 With any luck, by the end of the night we'll figure out which one of us did the dirty deed. 405 00:25:58,622 --> 00:26:03,184 <i>Any one of us could be the rapist!</i> 406 00:26:03,260 --> 00:26:07,663 - I'm sorry. Did you say "rapist?" - Yeah. Yeah, I did. 407 00:26:07,731 --> 00:26:12,293 Don't these things usually revolve around, um, a murder? 408 00:26:12,369 --> 00:26:15,236 <i>Yeah, Julie, see, we do this every few months...</i> 409 00:26:15,306 --> 00:26:19,606 and frankly, we were getting a little bored with murder. 410 00:26:19,677 --> 00:26:22,578 So I was like, " Isn't there some other violent crime we can reenact?" 411 00:26:22,646 --> 00:26:26,013 And I'm in the store the other day... and I find this. 412 00:26:27,785 --> 00:26:31,585 How fantastic is that? 413 00:26:31,655 --> 00:26:35,955 So, anyway, Julie, since you are new, luckyJulie... 414 00:26:36,026 --> 00:26:40,395 you get to be the victim. 415 00:26:40,464 --> 00:26:42,591 <i>Okay?</i> 416 00:26:42,666 --> 00:26:45,726 - Ooh. - So, I want you to put this on. Hop up. 417 00:26:45,803 --> 00:26:48,067 Okay, so here's what's gonna happen. 418 00:26:48,138 --> 00:26:52,165 The lights are gonna go out. So, you lie down on the floor. 419 00:26:52,243 --> 00:26:56,771 We're all gonna come running in, but you're gonna be unconscious, so you stay down there. 420 00:26:56,847 --> 00:26:59,975 Don't you think this is a little... sick? 421 00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:03,918 Oh, sweetie, it's all in fun. No one's actually raping anyone. 422 00:27:06,056 --> 00:27:08,991 I mean, you wouldn't have a problem with a murder-mystery game now, would you? 423 00:27:09,059 --> 00:27:12,392 - I guess not. - Yeah, so why would you object to a game... 424 00:27:12,463 --> 00:27:16,399 revolving around a lesser crime where no one even loses their life? 425 00:27:16,467 --> 00:27:18,401 - Well, it's just different. - Oh, "it's just, it's just"! 426 00:27:18,469 --> 00:27:21,734 Come on, guys. Let's play the game. 427 00:27:21,805 --> 00:27:24,603 Get your cards. Okay? 428 00:27:27,077 --> 00:27:29,307 CD in here. You got that on, sweetie? 429 00:27:29,380 --> 00:27:31,644 Okay, get down on the floor. Get down on the floor. 430 00:27:31,715 --> 00:27:33,842 Ready for a rapin'? 431 00:27:36,587 --> 00:27:40,318 Oh, no, please don't rape me. 432 00:27:40,391 --> 00:27:44,293 - Shut up, you bitch! - No, no, please, Mr. Raper Man. 433 00:27:44,361 --> 00:27:46,556 - Shut the fuck up! - What are you doing? 434 00:27:46,630 --> 00:27:48,564 Shut up, bitch! 435 00:27:48,632 --> 00:27:51,123 - Oh, no! - Shut up! 436 00:27:56,740 --> 00:27:58,708 Wow. 437 00:27:58,776 --> 00:28:02,974 " Oh, no. The sweet, innocent, young daughter of Mayor Lewis has been raped. 438 00:28:03,047 --> 00:28:06,608 Lock the door. No one is leaving until we figure out who did it. " 439 00:28:06,684 --> 00:28:08,618 - Nice accent. - Thanks, man. 440 00:28:08,686 --> 00:28:11,655 <i>Who committed this rape? Hmm?</i> 441 00:28:11,722 --> 00:28:14,213 Was it... the creepy uncle? 442 00:28:16,226 --> 00:28:19,059 The handsome, young Ivy League fraternity brother... 443 00:28:19,129 --> 00:28:22,155 who's used to getting what and who he wants? 444 00:28:24,301 --> 00:28:26,861 Um, the prisoner just released on parole? That's me. 445 00:28:26,937 --> 00:28:30,873 Or the vaguely hermaphroditic night nurse... 446 00:28:30,941 --> 00:28:32,909 from the senior center just down the block? 447 00:28:32,977 --> 00:28:37,812 <i>Ooh, he's so creepy! Okay, come on. Let's play! Let's play!</i> 448 00:28:37,881 --> 00:28:40,714 "I was with my wife. 449 00:28:40,784 --> 00:28:44,618 "Besides, that bitch has been making up stories since she was four. 450 00:28:44,688 --> 00:28:47,350 You can't believe anything she says!" 451 00:28:47,424 --> 00:28:50,518 "I have 22 fraternity brothers who will vouch that I was with them. " 452 00:28:52,496 -->