Idiocracy

400 00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:05,100 Thank you. 401 00:27:45,081 --> 00:27:47,051 'Too. 402 00:28:09,577 --> 00:28:12,248 Desperate and scared... 403 00:28:12,348 --> 00:28:15,149 Joe used his superior intelligence... 404 00:28:15,259 --> 00:28:18,160 to come up with the best escape plan he could think of. 405 00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:23,891 Hi. Excuse me. I'm actually supposed to be getting out of prison today, sir. 406 00:28:25,101 --> 00:28:27,162 Yeah. 407 00:28:27,272 --> 00:28:30,203 You're in the wrong line, dumb ass. Over there. 408 00:28:30,303 --> 00:28:33,604 I'm sorry. I am being a big dumb ass. Sorry. 409 00:28:33,714 --> 00:28:35,374 Hey, uh, let this dumb ass through. 410 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:55,129 'Too. Yeah. Got it. 411 00:28:57,540 --> 00:29:02,911 Uh, yeah, I don't see you in here. So, you're gonna have to, uh, stay in prison. 412 00:29:03,011 --> 00:29:04,912 Could you check again? 413 00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:08,083 'Cause, I was, you know I was definitely in prison, okay? 414 00:29:08,183 --> 00:29:12,124 I got sat on my face and everything. Maybe check those files back there? 415 00:29:18,706 --> 00:29:22,967 ""Excape. " ""Excape." 416 00:29:23,077 --> 00:29:25,637 ""Excape. " ""Excape." 417 00:29:25,747 --> 00:29:29,508 ""Excape. " ""Excape." 418 00:29:46,873 --> 00:29:48,773 The Masturbation Network. 419 00:29:48,873 --> 00:29:52,364 Keepin' America 'batin' for 300 years. 420 00:29:52,474 --> 00:29:55,175 And now, Sweet Bang Tube. 421 00:29:55,285 --> 00:30:00,046 Oh, yeah, give me some. Cut me a piece. 422 00:30:00,156 --> 00:30:02,147 Oh, yeah, that's- 423 00:30:02,257 --> 00:30:04,158 Go away! 'Batin'! 424 00:30:06,258 --> 00:30:08,459 Damn it. 425 00:30:08,569 --> 00:30:11,059 All right. 426 00:30:13,070 --> 00:30:16,001 Hey. Hey, get out of here. Hey, get out of here! 427 00:30:16,111 --> 00:30:20,202 No, wait, listen. You let me, an innocent man, get thrown in jail. 428 00:30:20,312 --> 00:30:23,683 So? Shut up, 'cause you broke my house. 429 00:30:23,783 --> 00:30:26,723 Hey, I could have you disbarred disbarred for what you did to me. 430 00:30:26,823 --> 00:30:29,484 Then maybe you'd go to jail for not havin' any money. 431 00:30:29,594 --> 00:30:31,685 Oh, really? 432 00:30:31,795 --> 00:30:35,096 Yeah, really. Now, look. Okay, here's the deal. 433 00:30:35,196 --> 00:30:37,186 I've been thinking. It's been 500 years. 434 00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:40,267 Someone has to have invented a way to travel back in time by now. 435 00:30:40,367 --> 00:30:43,268 You know, I think they were pretty close even in my day. You know? 436 00:30:43,378 --> 00:30:45,278 With Einstein and guys like that? Uh-huh. 437 00:30:45,378 --> 00:30:47,939 You know, scientists? You know? Uh. 438 00:30:49,279 --> 00:30:51,180 A time machine, for time travel. 439 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,911 Do they have one? What? 440 00:30:58,222 --> 00:31:02,133 Jesus. I knew that was too much to hope for. 441 00:31:03,233 --> 00:31:05,364 No, no, they got a time machine. 442 00:31:05,474 --> 00:31:07,374 They do? Yeah. 443 00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:09,375 Are-Are-Are you sure? Yeah. 444 00:31:09,475 --> 00:31:13,306 Can it get me back to 2005? Oh, yeah, but it's, like, really expensive. 445 00:31:13,416 --> 00:31:16,647 And it breaks all the time 'cause some smart guy made it a long time ago. 446 00:31:16,747 --> 00:31:18,907 I don't care. Just get me there, okay? 447 00:31:19,017 --> 00:31:20,488 Well- Please! 448 00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:23,819 Listen, II- I "supersize" with you... 449 00:31:23,929 --> 00:31:26,689 but didn't you go to jail for not havin' enough money? 450 00:31:26,799 --> 00:31:30,930 Okay, how about this? You get me to the time machine, and when I get back... 451 00:31:31,030 --> 00:31:33,031 I open a savings account in your name. 452 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:35,662 That way, 500 years later, it'll be worth billions. 453 00:31:35,772 --> 00:31:37,302 Billions! 'Cause? 454 00:31:37,412 --> 00:31:40,243 'Cause of the interest, it'll be worth billions of dollars. 455 00:31:40,343 --> 00:31:42,904 Oh, I I like money. Yeah. 456 00:31:43,014 --> 00:31:46,004 How many billions? Like, 10. 457 00:31:46,124 --> 00:31:49,285 Yeah, suck one. Time machine costs, like, 20. 458 00:31:49,395 --> 00:31:52,186 Yeah? Okay. Uh, 30, Frito. 459 00:31:52,296 --> 00:31:55,457 Thirty billion dollars. 460 00:31:55,567 --> 00:32:00,008 Thirty billion. So if you gave me 30 billion... 461 00:32:00,108 --> 00:32:02,099 and the time machine's 20- 462 00:32:02,209 --> 00:32:04,139 What's the minus of 30 and 20? 463 00:32:04,239 --> 00:32:06,970 Uh, it's, uh- it's 80, Frito. 464 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,611 It's $80 billion. That's a mighty big minus, isn't it? 465 00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:13,452 - Yeah. I ...