Tommy Boy

00:33:19,089 --> 00:33:22,187 Ugh. I can actually hear you getting fatter. 461 00:33:23,260 --> 00:33:25,230 What did I say about eating in the car? 462 00:33:25,345 --> 00:33:28,656 That it's not good, cos it spoils your dinner? 463 00:33:28,765 --> 00:33:30,782 Tommy, this is not a vacation for me. 464 00:33:30,892 --> 00:33:34,285 I'm here against my will. The least you can do is pretend to work. 465 00:33:34,395 --> 00:33:36,449 OK? Now let's review. 466 00:33:36,563 --> 00:33:39,827 OK, you're right. Review time. Let's do it up. Feed me! 467 00:33:39,941 --> 00:33:42,245 What are the three grades of brake pads? 468 00:33:43,528 --> 00:33:47,883 Personal, commercial, and, uh... agricultural. 469 00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:51,384 What is our carrying charge for the merchandise? 470 00:33:51,494 --> 00:33:53,014 Oh, man... 471 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,763 - One and a... - Half per cent! I knew that! 472 00:33:56,873 --> 00:33:58,180 Why can't I remember it? 473 00:33:58,291 --> 00:34:03,394 Try an association. Say the average person uses ten per cent of their brain. 474 00:34:03,504 --> 00:34:06,649 How much do <i>you</i> use? One and a half per cent. 475 00:34:06,757 --> 00:34:10,186 The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin. 476 00:34:16,558 --> 00:34:18,528 I gotta do this! I gotta do this! 477 00:34:18,643 --> 00:34:21,112 I've gotta be the one. I've gotta do this. 478 00:34:21,229 --> 00:34:23,283 It's gotta be me. It's gotta... 479 00:34:25,149 --> 00:34:28,246 - Are you ready? - Yeah. Sorry. I'm ready. 480 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,623 - Does this suit make me look fat? - No. Your face does. 481 00:34:31,738 --> 00:34:33,958 OK. Let's check you out. 482 00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:38,383 - It's a clip-on. - Are you sure? 483 00:34:38,494 --> 00:34:41,307 It's sale time, so remember: We don't take no... 484 00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:43,467 - No shit from anyone! - No. 485 00:34:44,124 --> 00:34:47,685 - We don't take no prisoners. - We don't take no for an answer. 486 00:34:47,794 --> 00:34:50,061 We don't take <i>no</i> for an answer. 487 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,771 We don't take <i>no</i> for an answer. We don't take <i>no</i> for an answer. 488 00:34:56,135 --> 00:34:57,940 - No. - Okey-dokey. 489 00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,823 - No. - Gotcha. Thanks. 490 00:34:59,930 --> 00:35:02,660 - Mm-mm. - Terrific. Thanks for your time. 491 00:35:02,766 --> 00:35:04,820 Let me say... 492 00:35:04,935 --> 00:35:07,320 maybe. 493 00:35:07,437 --> 00:35:08,909 Well, then... 494 00:35:09,022 --> 00:35:12,949 The spectrometer read-out on the nickel-cadmium alloy mix 495 00:35:13,067 --> 00:35:17,505 indicates a good rich fade, decreasing incidence of wear to the pressure plate. 496 00:35:17,613 --> 00:35:22,299 Whoa, little fella. You're not speaking my language. 497 00:35:22,409 --> 00:35:25,590 What my associate is trying to say is that, uh... 498 00:35:26,162 --> 00:35:30,007 Our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even gonna believe it. 499 00:35:30,124 --> 00:35:34,051 Like, um... let's say you're driving along with your family, 500 00:35:34,169 --> 00:35:36,104 and you're driving along... 501 00:35:36,213 --> 00:35:40,402 All of a sudden there's a truck tyre in the road, and you hit the brakes. 502 00:35:40,508 --> 00:35:43,570 Whoa. That was close. 503 00:35:43,678 --> 00:35:48,234 Now let's see what happens with "the other guy's" brake pads. 504 00:35:48,349 --> 00:35:50,533 You're driving along, driving along... 505 00:35:50,643 --> 00:35:54,285 The kids yell from the back seat "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" 506 00:35:54,396 --> 00:35:55,702 "Not now, dammit!" 507 00:35:55,814 --> 00:35:57,749 Truck tyre. Uuurgh! 508 00:35:57,857 --> 00:35:59,744 I can't stop! 509 00:35:59,859 --> 00:36:02,162 Arrgghhh! He-e-e-elp! 510 00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:05,712 There's a cliff! Arrghhh! 511 00:36:06,365 --> 00:36:11,170 And your family's screaming "Oh, my God! We're burning alive!" 512 00:36:11,286 --> 00:36:13,933 "No! I can't feel my legs!" 513 00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:15,594 In comes the meat wagon. 514 00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:17,973 Wee-ooo, wee-ooo, wee-ooo! 515 00:36:18,084 --> 00:36:21,395 And the medic gets out and says "Oh, my God." 516 00:36:21,504 --> 00:36:26,190 New guy's in the corner puking his guts out. Bleurrrrgh! Bleurrrrgh! 517 00:36:26,842 --> 00:36:29,820 All because you wanna save a couple of pennies. 518 00:36:30,011 --> 00:36:32,480 - To me, it doesn't... - Get out. 519 00:36:33,097 --> 00:36:35,566 - Now! - Yes, sir. 520 00:36:38,477 --> 00:36:40,282 - Do you validate? - Now! 521 00:36:40,771 --> 00:36:41,771 Thank you. 522 00:36:56,243 --> 00:36:58,095 She's a quart low. 523 00:36:58,203 --> 00:37:02,760 Then put it in. That's your penance for the puppet ...