Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story

517 00:31:49,844 --> 00:31:52,904 - I hope you learned something from all this. - I certainly did, Brian. 518 00:31:53,014 --> 00:31:54,982 It seems I'm still finding myself. 519 00:31:55,083 --> 00:31:58,177 Well, that's just life, Stewie. You gotta help yourself. No one's gonna do it for ya. 520 00:31:58,286 --> 00:32:00,312 Yes, I suppose you're right. 521 00:32:00,422 --> 00:32:02,982 It's just too bad there's not someone out there just like me... 522 00:32:03,092 --> 00:32:05,424 ...who understands me well enough to show me the way. 523 00:32:05,527 --> 00:32:08,519 Yeah. Stewie, I'm sure there's someone out there just like you. 524 00:32:12,568 --> 00:32:15,196 Yes, I've reserved a non-smoking room with a view of the bay. 525 00:32:15,304 --> 00:32:18,535 No soap in the bathroom, just moist towelettes and a sleep mask. 526 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,770 And, um, could you send up a bouquet of orchids and a box ofToffifay? 527 00:32:22,878 --> 00:32:24,903 But, for the moment, I've just got to accept the fact... 528 00:32:25,013 --> 00:32:27,481 ...that I'm an angry boy who'll occasionally try to burn down a house... 529 00:32:27,583 --> 00:32:29,744 ...or toss a poison dart at his mother. 530 00:32:29,852 --> 00:32:33,083 After all, I can't let one near-death experience change my whole life, can I? 531 00:32:33,188 --> 00:32:35,247 I'm glad you finally figured that out. 532 00:32:35,357 --> 00:32:37,587 Although, I will say, for the record, you're a pretty fun drunk. 533 00:32:37,693 --> 00:32:40,594 Well, thank God there were no long-term repercussions. 534 00:32:43,767 --> 00:32:46,736 Oh! Got to play this one right, Roger. Can't seem desperate. 535 00:32:46,836 --> 00:32:48,963 Wait three days- that's the rule. 536 00:32:50,607 --> 00:32:52,837 Oh, God! I wanna talk to him now! 537 00:32:54,477 --> 00:32:56,468 Damn! 538 00:33:02,085 --> 00:33:04,781 Wow! This must be one of them new plasma TV's. 539 00:33:04,888 --> 00:33:07,220 - Would you like something to drink? - I'll have water, please. 540 00:33:07,323 --> 00:33:09,291 I'll have water too, but with lemon. 541 00:33:09,392 --> 00:33:12,225 - I'll have a Sam Adams. - It's 9:30 in the morning. 542 00:33:12,328 --> 00:33:14,558 And don't you have an outstanding D.U.I.? 543 00:33:14,664 --> 00:33:17,827 Yeah, but I've gotta get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of my mouth. 544 00:33:17,934 --> 00:33:19,959 I'll have a Sam Adams too. 545 00:33:20,069 --> 00:33:23,095 Samuel Adams- always a good decision. 546 00:33:23,206 --> 00:33:26,040 Okay, now, if I get a fax, can I stay online and still received the fax... 547 00:33:26,143 --> 00:33:28,111 ...without a dedicated line? 548 00:33:28,212 --> 00:33:32,239 Yeah, you can put a piece of paper in here and make, like, a phone call... 549 00:33:32,349 --> 00:33:36,445 ...and your friend will get another piece of paper with the same picture. 550 00:33:36,554 --> 00:33:40,046 Can I possibly speak to someone who didn't come to this country on a floating door? 551 00:33:40,157 --> 00:33:43,217 - Can I help you? - Yes. We're here to replace our VCR. 552 00:33:43,327 --> 00:33:46,125 Yeah, don't try any of your salesman funny business... 553 00:33:46,230 --> 00:33:48,790 ...like that guy who convinced me to buy that pet Tyrannosaurus. 554 00:33:48,899 --> 00:33:50,992 Okay, Patches, now fetch! 555 00:33:53,170 --> 00:33:56,628 Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. 556 00:33:56,740 --> 00:33:59,174 Ew. It's got spit all over it. 557 00:33:59,276 --> 00:34:01,836 A VCR? Let me show you something. 558 00:34:01,946 --> 00:34:03,914 It's called TiVo. It always records what your watching... 559 00:34:04,014 --> 00:34:05,982 ...so, you can re-watch anything you missed. 560 00:34:06,083 --> 00:34:08,484 Oh! Sounds fancy. How does it work? 561 00:34:08,587 --> 00:34:11,021 I'll tell ya how it works. Easy as pie, is how it works. 562 00:34:13,191 --> 00:34:15,455 I'll tell ya how it works. Easy as pie, is how it works. 563 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,528 - Should I ring it up? - Hold on. Hold on. 564 00:34:17,629 --> 00:34:19,597 I think we should discuss it first. 565 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,264 Some kind of palsy. 566 00:34:24,369 --> 00:34:26,337 Anyway, that's how I saved Christmas. 567 00:34:26,438 --> 00:34:28,463 Yeah, go ahead and bag this thing for us. 568 00:34:32,844 --> 00:34:35,836 Ah! Sweet, Quagmire. You got a Winnebago. 569 00:34:35,947 --> 00:34:38,177 You mean a "Wanna-bang-o"! 570 00:34:38,283 --> 00:34:40,251 How clever. 571 00:34:40,352 --> 00:34:42,320 Yeah, I'm gonna take her across the country... 572 00:34:42,420 --> 00:34:44,388 ...and bang a different broad in every state. 573 00:34:44,489 --> 00:34:46,719 - Also, gonna go to Vegas. - Oh, we went to Veg