Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger

417 00:28:46,711 --> 00:28:49,464 He don't get plaques for getting rid of plaque. 418 00:28:50,351 --> 00:28:53,741 He's just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. 419 00:28:53,831 --> 00:28:56,743 See, the black man gotta fly 420 00:28:56,831 --> 00:29:00,141 to get something that the white man could walk to. 421 00:29:01,551 --> 00:29:03,382 That's right, baby. 422 00:29:03,471 --> 00:29:06,622 Shit, I had to make miracles happen to get that house. 423 00:29:06,711 --> 00:29:10,260 I had to host the Oscars to get that house. 424 00:29:11,511 --> 00:29:15,265 And to this day, I don't even believe it's my house. 425 00:29:16,191 --> 00:29:19,263 That's why I keep a bag packed right by the door... 426 00:29:23,391 --> 00:29:28,306 just in case the white people that really own the place show up one day. 427 00:29:28,391 --> 00:29:30,222 "Time to go, blackie." 428 00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:32,950 "Damn, I knew this day would come. 429 00:29:33,031 --> 00:29:35,181 "Good thing I'm packed." 430 00:29:35,271 --> 00:29:40,789 Do you know what a black dentist would have to do to move into my neighbourhood? 431 00:29:40,871 --> 00:29:42,623 He'd have to invent teeth. 432 00:29:47,311 --> 00:29:50,030 Racism, man. Racism out there, man. 433 00:29:50,111 --> 00:29:53,069 Only thing that makes me more angry than racism, 434 00:29:53,151 --> 00:29:55,904 only one thing makes me more angry than racism, 435 00:29:55,991 --> 00:29:59,620 is black people that are shocked at racism. 436 00:29:59,711 --> 00:30:01,588 Cos whenever something racist goes down, 437 00:30:01,671 --> 00:30:05,380 they always manage to find one black person that can't believe it. 438 00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:10,226 "I can't believe Imus would say that." I'm like, "Where the fuck you from?" 439 00:30:11,591 --> 00:30:14,981 There's nothing a white person could ever say to me 440 00:30:15,071 --> 00:30:17,187 that will ever catch me off guard. 441 00:30:17,271 --> 00:30:21,628 Ever. I'm always looking for some racism, no matter where the fuck I'm at. 442 00:30:21,711 --> 00:30:24,623 I'm like, "Where the racism at? Where it at? Where it at?" 443 00:30:24,711 --> 00:30:26,064 No matter where I'm at. 444 00:30:26,151 --> 00:30:28,824 I could be sitting down with Regis Philbin, 445 00:30:28,911 --> 00:30:32,062 doing an interview, talking about Madagascar 2. 446 00:30:32,151 --> 00:30:35,188 Say, "Yeah, Regis, Madagascar 2 is real good, man. 447 00:30:35,271 --> 00:30:38,024 "I play a zebra again. This motherfucker's great." 448 00:30:38,111 --> 00:30:42,309 And in the middle of the interview, Regis will pull a pencil out of his pocket, 449 00:30:42,391 --> 00:30:45,110 stab me in the neck, say, "Take that, you fucking nigger! 450 00:30:45,191 --> 00:30:47,068 "Take that you dirty, greasy nigger! 451 00:30:47,151 --> 00:30:49,107 "Take that, you fucking nigger!" 452 00:30:49,191 --> 00:30:51,659 And I'll be like, "I should have seen it coming. 453 00:30:54,991 --> 00:30:57,459 "I let Regis get too close." 454 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:59,621 I'll be mad at me. I'll apologise. 455 00:30:59,711 --> 00:31:02,623 "Hey, man, I left my neck all out, man. 456 00:31:02,711 --> 00:31:05,225 "I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry." 457 00:31:05,311 --> 00:31:09,429 Yeah, man. Race, man. Big, man. We live in a crazy time, man. 458 00:31:09,511 --> 00:31:11,183 We live in an insane time, man. 459 00:31:11,271 --> 00:31:15,742 We live in a time where if you say the wrong thing, you in trouble. 460 00:31:15,831 --> 00:31:18,743 This is the first time in the history of the world 461 00:31:18,831 --> 00:31:21,948 where white men actually have to watch what they say. 462 00:31:22,031 --> 00:31:25,341 White men are getting in trouble for saying the wrong words. 463 00:31:25,431 --> 00:31:27,262 That's unbelievable, man. 464 00:31:27,351 --> 00:31:29,785 And a lot of white guys, "Hey, that's not fair. 465 00:31:29,871 --> 00:31:32,908 "You can say whatever you want. You can say nigger." 466 00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:38,145 Yeah, when I last checked, that was the only advantage I had to being black. 467 00:31:40,351 --> 00:31:42,626 You want to switch places? 468 00:31:42,711 --> 00:31:45,942 You scream "nigger" and I'll raise interest rates. 469 00:31:53,191 --> 00:31:55,944 Yeah, this is the first time in the history of the world 470 00:31:56,031 --> 00:31:59,387 where white men have to watch their tongue. 471 00:31:59,471 --> 00:32:01,621 And now, white guys, don't worry about it. 472 00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:03,667 You know, that's how life works, man. 473 00:32:03,751 --> 00:32:05,469 That's how life works. 474 00:32:05,551 --> 00:32:09,510 Sometimes the people with the most shit have to shut up 475 00:32:09,591 --> 00:32:12,185 and let other people talk shit about 'em. 476 00:32:12,271 --> 00: