Beerfest

I'll show you how to drink a beer, motherfucker. 499 00:37:46,579 --> 00:37:47,603 Fucking man cow. 500 00:37:52,252 --> 00:37:54,516 Hey, I think somebody's trying to chug in my face! 501 00:37:54,688 --> 00:37:55,746 Look out, Germans! 502 00:37:55,922 --> 00:37:57,287 <i>You got chutzpah, Fuckelstein.</i> 503 00:38:02,128 --> 00:38:04,153 -That's great. -Hey, Todd. 504 00:38:04,331 --> 00:38:07,596 About the old girlfriend thing. Can we bury the hatchet, buddy? 505 00:38:08,935 --> 00:38:11,733 -I don't know. -It was just a one-night stand, right? 506 00:38:12,372 --> 00:38:14,966 Wasn't even that good-looking. Real dead fish, right? 507 00:38:15,976 --> 00:38:20,345 I mean, she just laid there, taking it like a plastic fuck doll, am I right? 508 00:38:22,315 --> 00:38:25,079 I happen to have married that plastic fuck doll! 509 00:38:25,251 --> 00:38:26,582 Todd, no! 510 00:38:27,454 --> 00:38:29,854 Hey! Get off him! 511 00:38:32,692 --> 00:38:34,319 Someone's chewing my leg! 512 00:38:49,175 --> 00:38:51,735 I hate you, Badrinath! 513 00:39:02,522 --> 00:39:06,891 Oh, my God. Phil. Phil, honey. 514 00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:08,925 Oh, my God. 515 00:39:10,563 --> 00:39:11,655 Hello? Yes. 516 00:39:11,831 --> 00:39:14,959 We need an ambulance immediately at 622 Francis Drive. 517 00:39:17,337 --> 00:39:19,430 Come on, Phil. Stay with me, honey. 518 00:39:25,311 --> 00:39:27,711 Oh, my God, what is that? 519 00:39:27,881 --> 00:39:29,473 Ham. 520 00:39:30,216 --> 00:39:31,205 Phil? 521 00:39:52,238 --> 00:39:54,604 Not again. 522 00:40:21,701 --> 00:40:22,690 How'd we do? 523 00:40:25,371 --> 00:40:26,599 Not good. 524 00:40:29,576 --> 00:40:34,104 If we're gonna drink like the Germans, I think we're gonna need a little help. 525 00:40:34,581 --> 00:40:36,071 You don't have to yell. 526 00:40:37,584 --> 00:40:40,451 Don't say anything to Great Gam Gam about the competition. 527 00:40:40,887 --> 00:40:42,479 Don't talk about her being a whore. 528 00:40:42,655 --> 00:40:44,418 -She's a whore? -No, she's not a whore. 529 00:40:44,591 --> 00:40:46,786 -So what if she was a whore? -She's not. 530 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,394 I'm just saying, some of my best friends are whores. 531 00:40:49,562 --> 00:40:50,756 Yeah, we know. 532 00:40:52,532 --> 00:40:55,092 Nice to meet you, Mrs. Wolfhouse. 533 00:40:56,569 --> 00:40:58,434 -Can I help you? -Who are you? 534 00:40:58,738 --> 00:40:59,932 My name's Cherry. 535 00:41:00,106 --> 00:41:02,802 -Is everything okay? -Everything is fine. 536 00:41:02,976 --> 00:41:04,637 Great Gam Gam. 537 00:41:04,811 --> 00:41:09,305 Cherry is here to help me now that my Johan is gone. 538 00:41:10,783 --> 00:41:13,149 <i>Mein darling great-grandboys...</i> 539 00:41:13,319 --> 00:41:15,879 <i>...und their delicious-looking friends.</i> 540 00:41:16,055 --> 00:41:18,023 Come in. 541 00:41:22,595 --> 00:41:24,995 And summer sausage. 542 00:41:25,165 --> 00:41:27,065 Just came out of the refrigerator. 543 00:41:27,233 --> 00:41:31,226 Here, try this. Oh, no, wait. Here, let me warm it up for you. 544 00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:44,580 No, that's fine. We're okay. 545 00:41:44,751 --> 00:41:49,085 When we were at Oktoberfest, we noticed that the Germans were excellent drinkers. 546 00:41:49,255 --> 00:41:52,486 -Oh, yeah, that is true. That is a true thing. -How do they get good? 547 00:41:52,659 --> 00:41:54,957 Well, from the time that they are little kids... 548 00:41:55,128 --> 00:41:57,756 ...Germans are raised to be excellent beer drinkers. 549 00:41:57,931 --> 00:42:00,365 -How? -Well, for one thing... 550 00:42:00,533 --> 00:42:03,001 ...they train high up in the Alps. 551 00:42:03,169 --> 00:42:07,572 Interesting. High-altitude training. Similar to the Kenyan marathon runners. 552 00:42:07,740 --> 00:42:11,369 They are also taught to relax the muscles of the throat. 553 00:42:11,544 --> 00:42:14,012 Germans can pretty much stick anything down there. 554 00:42:14,180 --> 00:42:18,810 I myself can probably fit in at least.... Oh, at least nine inches. 555 00:42:19,285 --> 00:42:22,777 -Here, let me show you. -No. You don't have to demonstrate. 556 00:42:22,956 --> 00:42:24,389 What else do the Germans do? 557 00:42:24,557 --> 00:42:28,516 They also practice by drinking the urine of a ram. 558 00:42:29,028 --> 00:42:31,019 -The what? -They drink ram's piss. 559 00:42:31,197 --> 00:42:33,062 -Because of the pH balance? -No. 560 00:42:33,233 --> 00:42:38,193 Because if you can drink ram's piss, fuck, you can drink almost anything. 561 00:42:39,272 --> 00:42:42,207 -She said "fuck." -Gam, who's drinking piss, honey? 562 00:42:42,375 --> 00:42:46,004 No, I was saying it was a tradition back in the old country. 563 00:42:46,312 --> 00:42:49,179 Damn, that's nasty. The old country must have been fucked up. 564 00:42:49,349 --> 00:42:51,317 Now, come on, baby, it's time for your nap. 565 00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:53,452 -Come on. -Okay. Well.... 566 00:42:...