Red, White & Royal Blue

710 00:34:43,930 --> 00:34:46,480 and I am what some men would consider exquisite. 711 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,350 So from where I'm sitting, Henry's... 712 00:34:48,550 --> 00:34:49,850 Kinda gay? 713 00:34:50,050 --> 00:34:52,770 More like the first 50 rows of a Gaga concert kinda gay. 714 00:34:52,970 --> 00:34:55,440 But he's always dating a different girl. 715 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,440 Oh, honey, princes aren't allowed to be gay. 716 00:34:58,640 --> 00:34:59,660 You should know that. 717 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,850 (SIGHS) 718 00:35:04,050 --> 00:35:05,190 Did I forget your birthday? 719 00:35:05,390 --> 00:35:07,150 Not yet. 720 00:35:07,340 --> 00:35:09,700 Do you remember Henry's friend Percy? 721 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,020 Are you into him? 722 00:35:14,220 --> 00:35:16,020 I'm not not into him. 723 00:35:16,220 --> 00:35:18,190 Right now I'm more into getting female-identifying candidates 724 00:35:18,390 --> 00:35:22,230 elected to Congress, but he does have good taste in florists. 725 00:35:22,430 --> 00:35:25,100 Anyway, okay, uh, tell me more about this kiss. 726 00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:26,870 Did you like it? 727 00:35:29,330 --> 00:35:32,900 He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand 728 00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,600 the difference between rugby and football. 729 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,600 (LAUGHS) I'm gonna take that as a yes. 730 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,150 I mean, it wasn't unpleasant, 731 00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,520 just... surprising. 732 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:45,480 I mean, you've been wanting him to dick you down forever. 733 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,770 What? Wrong! 734 00:35:47,970 --> 00:35:49,940 No, no, no, no, no. 735 00:35:50,140 --> 00:35:51,310 Okay. 736 00:35:51,510 --> 00:35:55,150 Allow me to, um, lay out some observations for you. 737 00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:57,520 Extrapolate as you wish. 738 00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,850 First, you've been, like, completely obsessed with Henry for years. 739 00:36:01,050 --> 00:36:02,770 - I've not been... - Do not interrupt me. 740 00:36:02,970 --> 00:36:05,272 You've been long-distance text flirting with him 741 00:36:05,273 --> 00:36:07,350 all day, every day, for months. 742 00:36:07,550 --> 00:36:09,400 - Uh... - You spent the entire New Year's party 743 00:36:09,590 --> 00:36:12,810 straight-up ignoring the who's who of hot young women 744 00:36:13,010 --> 00:36:15,560 - in order to talk to Henry. - (SIGHS) 745 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,400 And, uh, he kissed you, and you liked it. 746 00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:20,400 So... 747 00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,410 objectively, what do you think that means? 748 00:36:25,410 --> 00:36:26,730 I don't know. 749 00:36:26,930 --> 00:36:28,150 (FRUSTRATED GROAN) 750 00:36:28,340 --> 00:36:29,690 (CHUCKLES): Come on! 751 00:36:29,890 --> 00:36:32,310 I don't know! I don't know! 752 00:36:32,510 --> 00:36:35,690 Okay, look, I can wrap my head around being low-level into guys, 753 00:36:35,890 --> 00:36:38,480 but what I'm really confused about is being into Henry. 754 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,150 - How many guys have you been with? - (DOOR OPENS) 755 00:36:41,340 --> 00:36:42,790 Whoa. 756 00:36:43,830 --> 00:36:45,040 Uh... 757 00:36:51,330 --> 00:36:52,870 (DOOR CLOSES) 758 00:36:54,330 --> 00:36:55,690 Two. 759 00:36:55,890 --> 00:36:58,650 Once in high school and once with Miguel Ramos. 760 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,100 (STAMMERS) The Politico reporter?! 761 00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:02,600 Shut up! 762 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,810 Didn't see that coming. 763 00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:06,150 What was that story there? 764 00:37:06,340 --> 00:37:08,480 We once made out on the campaign, 765 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,940 drunk, fully naked, in a hot tub. 766 00:37:12,140 --> 00:37:14,033 I get the feeling he wants me back in that hot tub, 767 00:37:14,034 --> 00:37:15,034 but, you know, he's a journalist. 768 00:37:15,220 --> 00:37:18,940 Right. Yeah. Closeted princes are much safer. 769 00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:20,400 (KNOCKING) 770 00:37:20,590 --> 00:37:22,940 Um, okay, well, do you two have any appearances coming up? 771 00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:25,940 He's supposed to be my guest to the prime minister's dinner next month. 772 00:37:26,140 --> 00:37:27,870 He can't ignore me all night. 773 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:30,650 Can he? 774 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,560 I guess you'll find out. 775 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:33,850 Julia? 776 00:37:34,050 --> 00:37:35,350 Nora, come on. 777 00:37:35,550 --> 00:37:38,850 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States 778 00:37:39,050 --> 00:37:41,520 and the prime minister of the United Kingdom. 779 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,660 - (APPLAUSE) - (PIANO PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC) 780 00:37:45,6...