My Fake Boyfriend

636 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,027 This is all lovely. 637 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:30,407 You’re Andrew, right? Uh, yeah. 638 00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:32,785 You’re Bernie’s ride. He talks about you all the time. 639 00:32:34,036 --> 00:32:36,038 Oh, does he? [chuckles] Yeah. 640 00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:38,582 So, he finally convinced you to come to class. 641 00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:40,751 N-No, I ju... 642 00:32:40,918 --> 00:32:44,505 Yeah, he did. Because he knows how bad of a cook I am. 643 00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:47,007 I actually tried to make him some breakfast one time, 644 00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:48,842 and then we ended up at urgent care. 645 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:51,178 That was you. Yeah... 646 00:32:51,345 --> 00:32:53,347 [laughs] Well... 647 00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:03,982 Here, let me help you. Thanks. 648 00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:06,110 So you want to take your left hand 649 00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:08,445 and make it a little bit like a claw, like your knuckles. 650 00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:10,906 [Andrew] Okay. [Rafi] And then, 651 00:33:11,073 --> 00:33:12,700 put your hand up a little higher on the knife. 652 00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:14,618 A little higher. There you go. 653 00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:19,415 Okay. And boom. Just like a seesaw. 654 00:33:24,795 --> 00:33:28,549 [Jake, in thick accent] Save-a the rhinos, the leopards, 655 00:33:28,716 --> 00:33:30,968 the horses, the kittens, 656 00:33:31,135 --> 00:33:32,761 the chickens. 657 00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,013 Save-a the animals. 658 00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,101 [lock chirps] 659 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:42,271 Hey, hey, that’s my trailer. 660 00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:46,900 -I’ve got it. I’ll walk him out. -Walk me out? 661 00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:49,445 I told you this whole "shitting where you work" thing was gonna blow up. 662 00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:51,905 Nico got you pulled from the show. 663 00:33:52,990 --> 00:33:54,783 What? He can’t do that. Clearly, he can. 664 00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,910 No. I’m gonna go talk to him. 665 00:34:01,081 --> 00:34:02,750 Nico. Nico. 666 00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:04,752 Oh! Hey, baby. 667 00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:06,545 No. Don’t "hey, baby" me. 668 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:09,673 Listen, um, I’m sorry you lost your job. 669 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,426 But it was kinda your choice, right? 670 00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:15,596 Anyways, good luck finding another one without me. 671 00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:17,681 And, um, security! 672 00:34:17,848 --> 00:34:22,895 Please escort this unemployed stuntman off my set. Bye! 673 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:25,481 No. Don’t touch me. Please. I’m good. Hey. Hey. 674 00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,191 I know this isn’t the best time. 675 00:34:27,357 --> 00:34:30,486 But Rhonda is obsessed with Cristiano. 676 00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:32,279 What? No, not the best time, Emily. 677 00:34:32,446 --> 00:34:34,656 She even donated to his "Save the Rhino" campaign. 678 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,075 And now she’s got it in her head that she wants a baby, 679 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,453 because she thinks that he would be the perfect donor. 680 00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:42,706 She’s willing to get it in there, au naturel. 681 00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:47,002 Talking about in her vagina. It’s cheaper. Right. Got it. 682 00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:50,422 We just bought a house. Anyways, just putting it out there. 683 00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,341 Something to noodle on. Yeah. 684 00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:54,051 It’s gonna be okay. 685 00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:56,053 I’ll call you. Just think about it. 686 00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:58,138 Thanks. Thank you. Thanks. 687 00:34:59,723 --> 00:35:01,642 [horn honks] 688 00:35:01,809 --> 00:35:05,729 I was a year away from getting my shot at being lead stunt coordinator. 689 00:35:05,896 --> 00:35:08,148 Now I’m back at square one. I’m actually worse. 690 00:35:08,315 --> 00:35:09,525 [sighs] 691 00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:13,821 You getting fired is a blessing in disguise. 692 00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:17,324 At Hampton’s Bay, you were always going to be under Nico’s thumb. 693 00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:20,160 This is an opportunity for you. 694 00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:23,872 I’m single and I’m unemployed. Where’s that opportunity, Jake? 695 00:35:24,039 --> 00:35:26,834 Let Cristiano help. He has a plan. 696 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,296 You do know that Cristiano is not real, right? 697 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:34,883 He’s not actually out there saving albino rhinos. 698 00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:39,054 He’s absolutely saving the rhinos. 699 00:35:39,221 --> 00:35:41,765 He’s raised enough money to open a rhino conservatory. 700 00:35:41,932 --> 00:35:44,184 So, you tell me, Drew, what is "real"? 701 00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:47,563 If enough people believe in him, then he becomes real. 702 00:35:47,729 --> 00:35:51,275 Give Cristiano 48 hours. He’ll fix this. 703 00:35:52,192 --> 00:35:54,653 [typing] 704 00:36:00,409