Desperados

00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,083 <i>Oh, yes.</i> 787 00:33:24,166 --> 00:33:25,291 <i>Oh.</i> 788 00:33:49,375 --> 00:33:50,375 <i>What?</i> 789 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:12,916 <i>-Wow, you're here?</i> <i>-What are you doing here?</i> 790 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,541 <i>This is my room.</i> 791 00:34:14,625 --> 00:34:17,083 <i>No, this is my boyfriend's room.</i> 792 00:34:17,166 --> 00:34:18,333 <i>You know it is.</i> 793 00:34:18,416 --> 00:34:21,125 <i>Though I'm very flattered,</i> <i>this is not anything.</i> 794 00:34:22,458 --> 00:34:23,541 <i>Okay.</i> 795 00:34:23,625 --> 00:34:24,541 <i>[loud music]</i> 796 00:34:25,250 --> 00:34:26,083 <i>Wait.</i> 797 00:34:26,458 --> 00:34:27,333 <i>[gasps]</i> 798 00:34:27,416 --> 00:34:31,958 <i>-Shit. I'm supposed to be in </i>that <i>room.</i> <i>-You don't have to pretend, Miss Wesley.</i> 799 00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:33,750 <i>I know why you're here.</i> 800 00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:34,875 <i>What?</i> 801 00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:36,833 <i>I googled your pink penis toy.</i> 802 00:34:37,083 --> 00:34:40,291 <i>It's called a vibrator,</i> <i>and it's for girls who are lonely.</i> 803 00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,708 <i>What the hell are you talking about?</i> <i>Just get out-</i>-<i>[gasps] </i> 804 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:45,916 <i>Whoa! You know what?</i> 805 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:50,541 <i>I completely respect you,</i> <i>and, look, my eyes are completely closed,</i> 806 00:34:50,625 --> 00:34:53,500 <i>I'm just gonna give this to you</i> <i>without any lawsuit.</i> 807 00:34:54,916 --> 00:34:57,541 <i>[gasps] Oh, my-- oh, my God.</i> 808 00:34:58,166 --> 00:35:01,416 <i>-What the fuck is going on here?</i> <i>-[yells] Wait!</i> 809 00:35:02,916 --> 00:35:06,125 <i>Schmoops! Are you okay? Eye contact!</i> 810 00:35:06,208 --> 00:35:08,041 <i>[sniffs deeply] I'm amazing. Yeah.</i> 811 00:35:08,458 --> 00:35:10,375 <i>What's it like to be in sales?</i> 812 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,666 <i>Ugh. God, it is the worst.</i> 813 00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:17,083 <i>We're just in all-day workshops</i> <i>about how to market boner pills.</i> 814 00:35:18,166 --> 00:35:20,083 <i>Do they really call them "boner pills"?</i> 815 00:35:20,166 --> 00:35:21,750 <i>Technically, the name is "Bonalis,"</i> 816 00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:23,666 <i>the brand name. [chuckles]</i> 817 00:35:23,750 --> 00:35:25,125 <i>I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.</i> 818 00:35:25,208 --> 00:35:27,708 <i>Why does the world need more boner pills?</i> 819 00:35:27,791 --> 00:35:29,250 <i>Am I right? [chuckles]</i> 820 00:35:29,333 --> 00:35:32,916 <i>I mean, can't we just invent a drug</i> <i>that keeps a guy's dick in his pants?</i> 821 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:33,833 <i>[chuckles]</i> 822 00:35:33,916 --> 00:35:35,541 <i>-Can you do that?</i> <i>-I'll work on it.</i> 823 00:35:35,625 --> 00:35:36,791 <i>Thank you. Oh, what about--?</i> 824 00:35:36,875 --> 00:35:39,000 <i>Could you actually make a good dick GPS?</i> 825 00:35:39,083 --> 00:35:41,625 <i>So that way,</i> <i>when a dick is going in another woman,</i> 826 00:35:41,708 --> 00:35:45,416 <i>it sets off this little switch</i> <i>that just fries his pecker right off.</i> 827 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,333 <i>Oh.</i> 828 00:35:46,416 --> 00:35:48,416 <i>-That sounds like a human rights crime.</i> <i>-Right?</i> 829 00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:50,666 <i>-Seems harsh. [chuckles]</i> <i>-That's pretty funny.</i> 830 00:35:50,750 --> 00:35:53,000 <i>-Thank you.</i> <i>-I mean, maybe not the best joke...</i> 831 00:35:53,083 --> 00:35:55,625 <i>to make when you wanna pick me up</i> <i>or anything, but-- [chuckles]</i> 832 00:35:55,708 --> 00:35:56,708 <i>[chuckles]</i> 833 00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:58,666 <i>Oh, I'm sorry.</i> 834 00:35:58,750 --> 00:36:00,750 <i>You thought</i> <i>that I was trying to pick you up?</i> 835 00:36:01,541 --> 00:36:04,125 <i>-I'm sorry, what else are we doing here?</i> <i>-I'm sorry.</i> 836 00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:09,291 <i>It's just, you're wearing man-sandals</i> <i>and like five million bracelets.</i> 837 00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:10,833 <i>I told you just to pick one bracelet.</i> 838 00:36:10,916 --> 00:36:13,333 <i>I can't pick just one bracelet.</i> <i>They're all fucking cool.</i> 839 00:36:13,875 --> 00:36:15,083 <i>Should've picked one.</i> 840 00:36:15,166 --> 00:36:19,625 <i>I was kinda getting the vibe</i> <i>that you may be DTF when we sat down.</i> 841 00:36:19,708 --> 00:36:23,291 <i>But you also seem to have, like,</i> <i>a darkness and a sadness about you,</i> 842 00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:24,666 <i>and it's, like, a real turnoff.</i> 843 00:36:25,291 --> 00:36:27,083 <i>I feel like I was a bit misled.</i> 844 00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:29,916 <i>I already took a Bonalis, so... [chuckles]</i> 845 00:36:30,750 --> 00:36:34,666 <i>I'm... gonna have to nurse this boner here</i> <i>pretty soon.</i> 846 00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:36,875 <i>Oh, really? What hand are you gonna use?</i> 847 00:36:36,958 --> 00:36:39,416 <i>The one with all the bracel