Bridget Jones's Diary

<i>The earrings,</i> <i>measuring just over a centimeter</i> 484 00:30:22,278 --> 00:30:26,366 <i>in genuine diamante with topaz</i> <i>and lapis lazuli</i> 485 00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:29,285 <i>in a lovely mock-gold finish.</i> 486 00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:33,498 <i>The exact replica</i> <i>of those worn at Wimbledon in 1993</i> 487 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:36,459 <i>by Her Royal Highness,</i> <i>the Duchess of Kent.</i> 488 00:30:38,545 --> 00:30:39,754 Well... 489 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,382 Has she actually moved out, then? 490 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:47,387 Apparently she and this tangerine-tinted buffoon 491 00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:48,638 are suddenly an item. 492 00:30:48,721 --> 00:30:50,473 Half our friends have had them around to bloody dinner. 493 00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:55,728 She's even taking Jaundiced Julian to Una Alconbury's tarts and vicars party. 494 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,939 That's not the Pamela I knew. That's cruel. 495 00:30:58,523 --> 00:31:02,944 Still, um, could be a golden opportunity 496 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:06,030 if you spent the entire party 497 00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:09,284 flirting with other women, it would drive Mum wild with jealousy. 498 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:11,870 -Will it? -That's how I got my man. 499 00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:15,582 Have you got a boyfriend? A real one? 500 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:21,129 I have, Father. I have. And he's perfect. 501 00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,299 [car honking] 502 00:31:37,687 --> 00:31:39,439 [car engine revving] 503 00:31:40,815 --> 00:31:44,903 [Bridget] <i>Hurrah.</i> <i>I am no longer tragic spinster</i> 504 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:48,156 <i>but proper girlfriend</i> <i>of bona fide sex god,</i> 505 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,617 <i>so committed that he's taking me</i> 506 00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:53,286 <i>on a full-blown,</i> <i>mini-break holiday weekend.</i> 507 00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:56,456 [Daniel] Just promise me we don't have to sit in any little boats 508 00:31:56,539 --> 00:31:58,291 and read ponce poetry to each other. 509 00:31:58,374 --> 00:31:59,751 <i>He's also agreed to protect me</i> 510 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:03,254 <i>at Uncle Geoffrey's hideous tarts</i> <i>and vicars fancy dress party.</i> 511 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:07,175 <i>This can't be just shagging.</i> <i>A mini-break means true love.</i> 512 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:13,431 <i>Suddenly feel like screen goddess</i> <i>in manner of Grace Kelly.</i> 513 00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:20,438 <i>Though, perhaps, ever so slightly</i> <i>less elegant under pressure.</i> 514 00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:27,278 Very quiet here, isn't it? Are we the only guests or... 515 00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:29,322 We have a wedding this weekend. 516 00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,033 I believe there are just four of you not involved. 517 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:34,410 Oh. Hmm. 518 00:32:35,036 --> 00:32:36,162 [Natasha] You do the boats. I'll do the tea. 519 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,209 -Oh, Jesus. -Hello there. 520 00:32:41,376 --> 00:32:42,418 Hi. 521 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:44,545 Well, well. 522 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:47,715 Take it you're also heading for the Alconburys' rockery. 523 00:32:48,383 --> 00:32:51,302 -Yes, that's right. -I brought Natasha. 524 00:32:52,178 --> 00:32:55,640 Get a bit of work done. Thought I might make it a not-entirely-wasted weekend. 525 00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:59,185 How interesting. What a gripping life you do lead. 526 00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:01,813 Well, I'll see you upstairs in a second. 527 00:33:17,453 --> 00:33:19,163 Well, the weakness of their case 528 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,749 lies in the deposition they made on August 30. 529 00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:26,921 "Season of mist and mellow fruitlessness" 530 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,882 Oh, fuck me, I love Keats. Have you heard this one? 531 00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:34,971 "There was a young woman from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling 532 00:33:35,471 --> 00:33:38,307 She lay on her back And opened her crack 533 00:33:38,599 --> 00:33:39,767 And pissed all over the ceiling" 534 00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:40,852 [crash] 535 00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:43,229 -Bollocks. Shit. -What are you doing? 536 00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:44,522 I'm boarding you. 537 00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:46,524 -I can't see an alternative. -Don't you dare! 538 00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:48,985 -I'm king of the world! -No! 539 00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:50,278 Oh, fuck me! 540 00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:52,155 [Bridget exclaims] 541 00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:55,283 [Bridget chuckling heartily] 542 00:33:55,783 --> 00:33:59,245 -[Daniel] Piss and bollocks. That's it. -You stupid arse! 543 00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:00,872 [laughing hysterically] 544 00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:02,957 Bollocks. 545 00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:07,045 -All right. -Fuck, no! 546 00:34:0...