Barney's Version

Would you put that away, please? It's our honeymoon, not a travel junket. 579 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:55,809 - I'm embarrassing you? - Yes. 580 00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,062 Like with the bidet? 581 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,232 You didn't have to ask the concierge. I could have told you what it was for. 582 00:40:02,317 --> 00:40:04,735 - Do you have a master's degree? - No. 583 00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:08,280 Am I embarrassed? Snap out of it. 584 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,324 We came to Rome to have fun! 585 00:40:10,992 --> 00:40:13,243 Not to mourn the death of your first wife. 586 00:40:14,496 --> 00:40:17,664 MRS P: Yeah, we went to the Vatican. (SCOFFS) It's old. 587 00:40:18,124 --> 00:40:19,166 Yeah! 588 00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:21,168 Ma. Ma. Ma. 589 00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,170 You should see the bathrobes they got here. Yeah. 590 00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:26,840 And the soap. To die for. Well, of course I will. 591 00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:30,594 I already stuffed three bars in my suitcase for you. 592 00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:33,764 Okay, Ma, you know what? I'm going to talk to you tomorrow. 593 00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:35,682 Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow. 594 00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:37,518 (EXHALES) 595 00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:39,436 Hmm. 596 00:40:39,521 --> 00:40:40,813 (EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY) 597 00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:44,358 Hey, you know what? I was just thinking about the wedding. 598 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:47,694 - It was beautiful, wasn't it? - Yeah. Lots of relatives. 599 00:40:47,821 --> 00:40:50,948 - I got a big family. - Yeah, you certainly do. 600 00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:54,743 - Who was that guy from Chicago again? - My cousin, Isaac? 601 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:58,789 Right, Isaac, right. Funny guy. 602 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,290 (CHUCKLES) 603 00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:02,709 And what about that girl? 604 00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:07,089 I think she was from New York, the one in the blue dress? 605 00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:10,092 Oh, Miriam Grant. 606 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:12,553 Right. Who is she again? 607 00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,471 She was a couple of years behind me at McGill. 608 00:41:14,556 --> 00:41:16,932 She's the kind of girl, you know, she subscribes to The Economist, 609 00:41:17,016 --> 00:41:18,350 but she buys Vogue off the stand. 610 00:41:19,394 --> 00:41:20,644 I think Jeff brought her. 611 00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:23,021 - Jeff seems gay. - Jeff is gay. 612 00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:24,815 Just pretends for the family. 613 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:27,151 Ah. Good. 614 00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:30,195 Good? 615 00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:32,698 Well, yeah. I mean, 616 00:41:32,782 --> 00:41:37,286 better that the guy lives a lie than he inconvenience the family. I mean... 617 00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:39,163 Well, yes. 618 00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:42,416 (SIGHS) 619 00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:46,712 I think I'm going to take a quick nap before dinner. 620 00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:51,133 - Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. - Why? 621 00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:53,010 I don't think so. 622 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,390 (HUMMING) 623 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:10,819 - Oh, did you wash it like I asked? - Yeah. 624 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:14,239 - With soap? - Yep. 625 00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:17,534 - Okay. - (LAUGHS) 626 00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:42,893 - Sorry I'm late. I took a cab. - It's okay, I just got here. 627 00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:45,437 And how are you, my favourite offspring? 628 00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,731 To tell you the truth, perplexed. 629 00:42:47,815 --> 00:42:49,816 - By what? - By you. 630 00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:51,944 Before this recent phone incident, 631 00:42:52,028 --> 00:42:54,947 you got Blair a subscription to Boy Toy Monthly using his work address. 632 00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:56,114 Mmm-hmm. 633 00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:59,493 And before that, you signed him up to an Al Qaeda website. 634 00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:01,662 The man still can't fly out of the country. 635 00:43:01,871 --> 00:43:03,622 I've upset Claire, is that it? 636 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:04,998 No, you've upset Mom. 637 00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:07,000 Blair's too much of a chicken-shit to say anything. 638 00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:08,168 (BARNEY LAUGHS) 639 00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:11,713 See? You truly are my proudest achievement. Do you know that? 640 00:43:11,798 --> 00:43:12,881 (KATE LAUGHS) 641 00:43:12,966 --> 00:43:15,926 - He stole her from me, sweetheart. - No, he didn't. 642 00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:18,720 You got divorced, she got remarried. 643 00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:23,350 Look, no one was rooting for a comeback more than I was, but it's time to let it go. 644 00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:28,188 - They're happily married, I'm sorry. - They're married. Stick to the facts. 645 00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:33,819 - An apology wouldn't hurt, either. - Oh, for Christ's sake, apologise to who? 646 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:37,990 Hey, why don't you come up to the country this weekend, hmm? 647 00:43:38,366 --> 00:43:40,367 - Actually,