The League of Gentlemen

I shall be there onthe day. 454 00:35:36,861 --> 00:35:38,779 Well, remember rule two, old darling. 455 00:35:38,779 --> 00:35:42,200 "Never get ahead of the mob.'' They're liable to shoot you inthe arse. 456 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,411 You need someone to protect your interests. 457 00:35:44,411 --> 00:35:46,538 Yes, that had occurred to me, too, 458 00:35:46,538 --> 00:35:50,668 but before you suggest yourself for the job, I ought to mention one thing. 459 00:35:50,668 --> 00:35:52,586 Everybody gets the same share. 460 00:35:52,586 --> 00:35:54,546 Well, roughly, anyway. 461 00:35:54,546 --> 00:35:57,090 No. I intend to get away with this 462 00:35:57,090 --> 00:36:01,053 andthe one sure way to disaster is for somebody to get greedy. 463 00:36:01,053 --> 00:36:03,181 So it's equal shares for all. 464 00:36:03,181 --> 00:36:06,017 - Including you? - Of course. 465 00:36:06,017 --> 00:36:07,685 Do you still want to be considered? 466 00:36:07,685 --> 00:36:11,022 Well, you haven't yet told me how you hope to get away with it. 467 00:36:11,022 --> 00:36:14,610 That comes later, when we've reached an agreement. 468 00:36:14,610 --> 00:36:17,527 As you say, one has to proceed carefully. 469 00:36:19,447 --> 00:36:21,492 I was at Dunkirk, too. 470 00:36:21,492 --> 00:36:24,995 Yes, but I bet you didn't get away onthe first boat, like me. 471 00:36:24,995 --> 00:36:29,959 Of course,there's always the possibility, ugly though it may sound, that erm... 472 00:36:29,959 --> 00:36:33,338 I might spill the beans, if we don't come to an agreement. 473 00:36:33,338 --> 00:36:35,799 - And you said you weren't nasty. - Oh, I'm not. 474 00:36:35,799 --> 00:36:38,885 It's just the way my mind works, in vicious circles. 475 00:36:38,885 --> 00:36:41,762 Yes, but you're not the informer type. 476 00:36:41,762 --> 00:36:45,516 I'm sure that we can find a mutually-acceptable solution. 477 00:36:45,516 --> 00:36:48,478 Let's have somethingto eat and we'll talk about it. 478 00:36:48,478 --> 00:36:50,554 What? Two meals in one day? 479 00:36:51,690 --> 00:36:53,268 You're spoiling me. 480 00:36:54,443 --> 00:36:56,234 All my men loved me. 481 00:37:01,825 --> 00:37:03,070 Well? 482 00:37:05,371 --> 00:37:06,997 In theory, I like it. 483 00:37:06,997 --> 00:37:10,376 It has a certain old-world charm, but it'll never work. 484 00:37:10,376 --> 00:37:13,337 - Why not? - You can't pull a stunt like that in this country. 485 00:37:13,337 --> 00:37:17,967 - I know they get away with it inthe States. - The first ones to try it here will get away with it. 486 00:37:17,967 --> 00:37:20,803 Think of it as a full-scale military operation. 487 00:37:20,803 --> 00:37:23,765 What chance has a bunch of ordinary civilians got 488 00:37:23,765 --> 00:37:27,269 against a trained, armed and disciplined military unit? 489 00:37:27,269 --> 00:37:29,640 You were a soldier, man. You ought to know. 490 00:37:32,232 --> 00:37:34,943 You know, we really are a marvellous nation, aren't we? 491 00:37:34,943 --> 00:37:39,324 In any crisis, we always produce the eight man forthe job, even though it's the wrong job. 492 00:37:39,324 --> 00:37:40,825 All right. 493 00:37:40,825 --> 00:37:42,327 I'm sold. 494 00:37:42,327 --> 00:37:44,200 I'll sign on for the duration. 495 00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:47,873 On my terms, equal shares for all? 496 00:37:47,873 --> 00:37:51,711 Well, if you insist onthis socialistic nonsense, yes. 497 00:37:51,711 --> 00:37:55,340 You're losing a friend, but gaining a second-in-command. 498 00:37:55,340 --> 00:37:57,000 I'll settle forthat. 499 00:38:02,305 --> 00:38:04,140 Oh, let's leave the dishes. 500 00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:06,267 Do you want to stay the night? 501 00:38:06,267 --> 00:38:08,979 - Why not? - Well, move in now, if it comes to that. 502 00:38:08,979 --> 00:38:11,231 - Fine. - Did you bring any gear with you? 503 00:38:11,231 --> 00:38:15,064 Yes. Always prepared. You'd be surprised where my caravan has rested. 504 00:38:18,864 --> 00:38:21,367 Well, I'lljust pop out to the car, old darling. 505 00:38:21,367 --> 00:38:24,120 Do you mind not using that sickening expression? 506 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,206 - What's that? - Call me ''Hyde'', ''Norman''or''Colonel'', 507 00:38:27,206 --> 00:38:29,876 but for heaven's sake, drop that ''old darling''. 508 00:38:29,876 --> 00:38:31,461 All right, old dear. 509 00:38:31,461 --> 00:38:34,912 Sorry, Colonel. One gets into terrible habits at the YMCA. 510 00:38:36,549 --> 00:38:38,176 - Is that your wife? - Yes. 511 00:38:38,176 --> 00:38:39,887 - Is she dead? - No, no. 512 00:38:39,887 --> 00:38:42,508 I regret to say the bitch is still going strong. 513 00:38:53,859 --> 00:38:55,235 Very smart. 514 00:38:58,907 --> 00:39:03,370 - I shall miss the old Rolls,thoug