No Strings Attached

OK. OK, this is getting a little too realistic. 524 00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:36,110 Trust me. 525 00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:50,583 I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me! 526 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,344 Yes, I'm ready. 527 00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:04,471 What are you doing?! 528 00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:10,269 I just friended you. Do you think you're gonna confirm or ignore? 529 00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:13,063 Oh, I'm gonna confirm. For sure. 530 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:16,233 Yeah, look at you. Of course. 531 00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:22,948 Anytime. Need some help? 532 00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:25,868 Oh, beautiful! Beautiful! 533 00:37:38,632 --> 00:37:40,966 ...the tomatoes are Australian. 534 00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:50,976 - What was that? - What? 535 00:37:51,144 --> 00:37:54,897 - Are you being jealous? - Of that guy? Come on. 536 00:37:55,065 --> 00:37:57,858 Look, even if I did like him, it doesn't change what we're doing. 537 00:37:58,026 --> 00:38:02,237 - Ah, so you like him. - Adam, I'm not yours. 538 00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:04,907 No, of course not. Why would I think that? 539 00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:10,245 Wow. Prius. Nice. 540 00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:14,375 - It's kind of girly, but nice, huh? - What do you drive? 541 00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:18,587 Just an old BMW. Five series. Right there. 542 00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:21,590 Oh, yeah, sure. I actually paid for mine. 543 00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:24,343 I didn't take it from my parents. 544 00:38:24,511 --> 00:38:26,804 Yeah, I paid for mine, too. 545 00:38:26,972 --> 00:38:28,681 Oh, yeah? 546 00:38:30,892 --> 00:38:33,310 You're a big guy. Do you work out? 547 00:38:33,478 --> 00:38:35,854 Oh. I row. 548 00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:37,398 Like boats? 549 00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:40,901 - I rowed crew at Harvard. - Oh, Harvard. 550 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,861 What were you, a cocksman? What do they say? 551 00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:44,905 - What do they call it? - Coxswain. 552 00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:48,867 No. You know, I get it, right? That you're sleeping with Emma? 553 00:38:49,786 --> 00:38:50,995 I what? 554 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,288 That you and Emma have sex sometimes. I get it. 555 00:38:53,456 --> 00:38:55,916 She's tired, she calls you up, you drive over, 556 00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:58,002 and have sex for, I'm guessing, ten minutes. 557 00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,503 Think that's gonna last? 558 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:03,799 I don't know what you're talking about. 559 00:39:03,967 --> 00:39:06,468 Sure you do. And that's fine, for now. 560 00:39:06,636 --> 00:39:09,972 But you should just know that I'm gonna be there right next to her every day, 561 00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:12,599 using big words... 562 00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:14,852 ...saving people's lives. 563 00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:18,332 Then, when she's done having her fun with you, she's gonna 564 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:22,359 come running to me, because I'm a grownup, and I have a real job. 565 00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:26,447 I can actually take care of her, you know? 566 00:39:27,741 --> 00:39:29,992 I'm the guy she marries, Adam. 567 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:35,080 You're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom. 568 00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:56,977 - What's this? - These are my feet, Adam. 569 00:39:57,145 --> 00:40:00,397 - They're fantastic. - No, this. 570 00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,691 That's your script. 571 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:04,651 Your dad told me to give it to you. 572 00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:07,488 Yeah, he read it, and he gave you notes, and... 573 00:40:08,448 --> 00:40:11,492 I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together, 574 00:40:11,659 --> 00:40:13,952 but I'm not prepared to say that we didn't. 575 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,455 I know that you have issues with your dad, and that's cool, 576 00:40:16,623 --> 00:40:19,792 but he really likes you and he definitely likes me, 577 00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:22,669 and we were just jamming ideas and goofing around 578 00:40:22,837 --> 00:40:25,130 and tripping our balls off. 579 00:40:26,007 --> 00:40:29,843 Hey. So... I really feel like it needs to be more ghetto. 580 00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:34,306 You know, like, more crunk? Can you work it out? Thanks. 581 00:40:34,474 --> 00:40:35,849 - Hey. Nice moves. - Hey. 582 00:40:36,017 --> 00:40:38,811 I know you were trying really hard out there, but it just didn't work. 583 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,772 Hey, would you ever? I... 584 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:44,024 I wrote an episode. 585 00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:47,986 - I used to write in college, so... - OK. 586 00:40:48,154 --> 00:40:49,822 I'm gonna have to stop you right there. 587 00:40:49,989 --> 00:40:52,282 - Not your job. - Yeah. 588 00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:56,078 Hey. I'm, like, actually one of those freaks who reads things, 589 00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:58,664 so if you wanted to give it to me, that's cool. 590 00:40:58,832 --> 00:41:00,374 - Really?