Deadpool 2

00:44:24,897 --> 00:44:27,944 You let me down for the last time, Wade. 744 00:44:31,077 --> 00:44:33,384 Okay, get these guys in the pod. 745 00:44:33,427 --> 00:44:35,604 Take them to the Ice Box. 746 00:44:56,234 --> 00:44:57,235 Hey, baby! 747 00:44:58,323 --> 00:45:00,586 I wonder what gang I'll be in. 748 00:45:00,630 --> 00:45:02,109 Yeah! 749 00:45:02,153 --> 00:45:04,416 - Is there, like, a Sorting Hat? - Hi. 750 00:45:06,287 --> 00:45:07,680 I've always seen myself as 751 00:45:07,724 --> 00:45:09,116 more of an East Coast Hufflepuff. 752 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,599 I've made a critical error on my Airbnb reservation. 753 00:45:13,643 --> 00:45:17,516 This is not what the website looked like at all. 754 00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:20,824 I love the decor though. 755 00:45:20,867 --> 00:45:22,826 I had no idea hopeless was a color. 756 00:45:22,869 --> 00:45:24,131 Hard left, douchebag. 757 00:45:28,658 --> 00:45:29,876 Please, after you. 758 00:45:32,009 --> 00:45:34,707 Another disgusting minority off the streets. 759 00:45:34,751 --> 00:45:35,882 We'll sleep well tonight. 760 00:45:35,926 --> 00:45:36,970 Let's get a bagel. 761 00:45:40,234 --> 00:45:43,063 Nighty-night, you annoying prick! 762 00:46:18,839 --> 00:46:20,730 You're a long way from your superpowers. 763 00:46:20,754 --> 00:46:23,191 Yeah. Just a touch of cancer. 764 00:46:23,235 --> 00:46:25,716 Not to worry, we're old friends. 765 00:46:25,759 --> 00:46:26,978 Fuck! 766 00:46:27,021 --> 00:46:29,197 I wanted to be a superhero. 767 00:46:29,241 --> 00:46:31,199 Always wanted a real super suit. 768 00:46:31,243 --> 00:46:32,810 What happened? 769 00:46:32,853 --> 00:46:34,973 When was the last time you saw a plus-sized superhero? 770 00:46:35,639 --> 00:46:37,118 Never. 771 00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:38,946 The industry discriminates. 772 00:46:40,034 --> 00:46:42,123 Fuck superheroes. 773 00:46:42,167 --> 00:46:44,430 The thing that pisses me off the most... 774 00:46:44,473 --> 00:46:46,302 I never stood up for myself in there. 775 00:46:47,913 --> 00:46:50,829 My whole life. 776 00:46:50,872 --> 00:46:54,354 I've been waiting for someone to come and save me. 777 00:46:56,748 --> 00:46:59,707 Nobody's gonna sacrifice anything for me. 778 00:47:03,842 --> 00:47:06,105 I gotta start taking care of myself. 779 00:47:07,454 --> 00:47:10,196 I have a mission now. 780 00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:12,894 The first thing I wanna do when I get out of here... 781 00:47:12,938 --> 00:47:15,288 burn the headmaster alive... 782 00:47:15,331 --> 00:47:19,031 and then take a selfie with his smoldering corpse. 783 00:47:19,074 --> 00:47:21,511 Aw. That's, like, my favorite part of the Bible. 784 00:47:23,252 --> 00:47:25,733 I don't have a sock puppet on me... 785 00:47:25,777 --> 00:47:27,822 but what did he do to you? 786 00:47:27,866 --> 00:47:29,476 Did he taste the rainbow? 787 00:47:29,519 --> 00:47:31,565 I'd whisper it, but Skittles would sue us. 788 00:47:32,740 --> 00:47:34,742 Fucker hates mutants. 789 00:47:34,786 --> 00:47:36,744 He tried to beat the genes out of us. 790 00:47:36,788 --> 00:47:39,312 Nothing worse than a "pray the gay away" type guy. 791 00:47:40,095 --> 00:47:41,488 Sick piece of shit. 792 00:47:42,881 --> 00:47:46,581 Tomorrow, we'll find the biggest guy in here... 793 00:47:47,538 --> 00:47:49,236 and we'll make him our bitch! 794 00:47:53,153 --> 00:47:54,502 What was that? 795 00:47:54,545 --> 00:47:57,113 That is the biggest guy in here. 796 00:47:57,157 --> 00:47:59,246 Fun fact about the Ice Box... 797 00:47:59,289 --> 00:48:01,117 though no one's ever seen it, 798 00:48:01,161 --> 00:48:03,380 they keep a monster in the basement. 799 00:48:03,424 --> 00:48:05,165 Right next to a huge, 800 00:48:05,208 --> 00:48:06,732 steaming bowl of foreshadowing. 801 00:48:07,384 --> 00:48:08,385 Look. 802 00:48:09,386 --> 00:48:11,649 I can't protect you. 803 00:48:11,693 --> 00:48:12,825 With this collar on, 804 00:48:12,868 --> 00:48:16,002 my superpower is just unbridled cancer. 805 00:48:16,045 --> 00:48:19,527 Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically Hawkeye. 806 00:48:19,570 --> 00:48:21,659 Now, if you'll excuse me... 807 00:48:21,703 --> 00:48:24,880 I've got tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits. 808 00:48:24,924 --> 00:48:27,404 I'll start by making us a shank. 809 00:48:27,448 --> 00:48:29,363 Good listening. I stole that guard's pen... 810 00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:31,365 and stashed it in the old prison wallet, 811 00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:32,801 if you know what I'm saying. 812 00:48:32,845 --> 00:48:35,325 I really hope I don't know what you're saying. 813 00:48:37,414 --> 00:48:39,765 I know it's in there, I just need to get it out. 814 00:48:39,808 --> 00:48:41,897 Oh, Jesus Christ. ...