Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

masturbate onto it. 650 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,728 Ew, Greg, that's just weird and gross. 651 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:40,561 Hey, everyone, 652 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,722 check out Scott Mayhew's Tyrannosaurus walk. 653 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,201 It's a great way to get from point A to point B. 654 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,165 That was really mean, Greg. 655 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:48,810 I think he heard you. 656 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,485 <font color="#E86CE4">(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)</font> 657 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,490 <i><font color="#808080">GREG</font>: And just like that...</i> 658 00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,842 <i>...eight years of carefully-cultivated</i> 659 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,241 <i>invisibility...gone.</i> 660 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,321 <font color="#E86CE4">(BREATHING HEAVILY)</font> 661 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,401 Fin. 662 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,244 <font color="#808080">GREG</font>: Your mom made cookies? 663 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,688 Nah, I won them off of Ill Phil in a game of tonk. 664 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,640 Got tired of whooping your sorry ass. 665 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,321 Why do they even call it Scholar Horizons Biology? 666 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,922 Maybe they should call it Scholar Horizons Tonk. 667 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,684 Or Sometimes Paper Football. 668 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,171 <font color="#808080">McCARTHY</font>: Heathens. 669 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:24,930 What up? Hi, Mr. McCarthy. 670 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:27,601 Wow. 671 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,808 Earl, fact, that lunch is garbage. 672 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,123 You're literally poisoning yourself right in front of us. 673 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,209 At least I ain't eating no funky ass 674 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,442 seaweed-looking tentacle soup. 675 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,525 Seriously, this stuff is the business. 676 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,842 It's Vietnamese. It's called Pho. 677 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,684 It is "Pho-nomenal." 678 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,365 Well, let me try some one time. 679 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,521 Mmm. 680 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,364 Now you want to try some? Yeah. 681 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,641 Well, no. 682 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,246 It's strictly forbidden for me to give you food. 683 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:57,885 However, if you go to... 684 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,686 ...Thuyen's Super Saigon Flavor 685 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,091 over in Lawrenceville... 686 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:04,691 ...and ask for Thuyen. 687 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,003 Tell him to put it on my tab. You'll be all set. 688 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,921 I ain't going to no damn Lawrenceville. 689 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,685 Fair enough. 690 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:16,687 <font color="#E86CE4">(CLEARS TH ROAT)</font> 691 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,649 You'll have to excuse me. 692 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,167 Boys. 693 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,924 <font color="#808080">BOTH</font>: Respect the research. 694 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,081 <font color="#808080">MCCARTHY</font>: Respect! 695 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:34,684 God! You know, people just assume that 696 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,171 Rachel and I are dating. 697 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:37,321 It's ruining my life. 698 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,171 Today I threatened to sexually assault a fake baby. 699 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,000 And I became mortal enemies with Scott Mayhew. 700 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:44,969 Both of which are Rachel's fault. 701 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,724 Sorry, but they just are. 702 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,167 Of course I'm a dick for complaining about it. 703 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,206 I mean, I am a dick for complaining about it. 704 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,729 I didn't actually mean any of that. 705 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,723 Better play with them titties. 706 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,243 Does this taste strange to you? 707 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,125 <font color="#E86CE4">(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)</font> 708 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,004 <font color="#E86CE4">(CELL PHONE CHIMING)</font> 709 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,443 <i>The soup had drugs.</i> 710 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,171 <font color="#E86CE4">(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)</font> 711 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,441 <font color="#E86CE4">(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)</font> 712 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,681 Whoa! 713 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,521 <font color="#E86CE4">(THEME FROM <i>NA</i> VAJO JOE PLAYING)</font> 714 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:15,931 <font color="#808080">EARL</font>: McCarthy must've put weed in that soup 715 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,445 because my brain is trying to eat itself. 716 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,761 <font color="#808080">GREG...