Reality Bites

I guess I'm proud of that. 474 00:32:05,383 --> 00:32:08,511 Ho, please. Look at this sweater. 475 00:32:08,845 --> 00:32:10,972 People don't know what it takes. 476 00:32:11,055 --> 00:32:14,809 I've never been a good example before, and, um, 477 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,896 I've never been good with responsibility, so, uh... 478 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:22,859 I blame my parents, though. I think I was conceived on an acid trip. 479 00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:26,571 My parents got divorced when I was, uh, 480 00:32:26,863 --> 00:32:28,406 five years old. 481 00:32:29,157 --> 00:32:32,619 And I saw my father about three times a year after that. 482 00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:38,625 And when he found out that he had cancer, he decided to bring me here, 483 00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:40,918 and he gives me this big, pink sea shell, 484 00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:45,173 and he says to me, "Son, the answers are all inside of this." 485 00:32:45,590 --> 00:32:49,552 And I'm all, like, "What?" But then I realize that the shell's empty. 486 00:32:49,927 --> 00:32:53,097 There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... 487 00:32:53,806 --> 00:32:58,019 A random lottery of meaningless tragedy in a series of near-escapes. 488 00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:03,775 So I take pleasure in the details. You know, uh, 489 00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:06,986 a Quarter Pounder with cheese. 490 00:33:07,487 --> 00:33:08,946 Those are good. 491 00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:13,951 The sky about 10 minutes before it starts to rain. 492 00:33:15,662 --> 00:33:18,748 The moment where your laughter becomes a cackle. 493 00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:22,251 And I sit back, and I... 494 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,088 I smoke my Camel straights. 495 00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:29,759 And I ride my own melt. 496 00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:32,303 Come on, come on. No laggin'. 497 00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:34,430 The free clinic AIDS test. 498 00:33:34,764 --> 00:33:37,183 The rite of passage for our generation. 499 00:33:37,266 --> 00:33:38,935 We're so lucky. Come on. 500 00:33:39,602 --> 00:33:43,147 So, Vick, why are you getting tested? 501 00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:46,651 One of my friends tested positive. 502 00:33:47,944 --> 00:33:50,905 Be on the safe side. You know. 503 00:33:55,952 --> 00:33:57,704 Vickie Miner. 504 00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:03,793 Vickie Miner? 505 00:34:08,381 --> 00:34:12,552 You can forget it. Come on, Grant. That is incredible. 506 00:34:12,635 --> 00:34:14,887 It's junk. Depressing junk. 507 00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:17,807 You know my rules for Video View, light and perky. 508 00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:22,353 Look, Lelaina, maybe I should talk with Grant alone about this. 509 00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:28,735 Look, she's got real talent, and I want to put her on staff. 510 00:34:28,818 --> 00:34:31,279 I will not have Ms. Pierce on staff. 511 00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:34,323 I will walk out of here when that happens. You watch. 512 00:34:34,490 --> 00:34:39,787 Okay, calm down. I mean, it's no big deal. We don't have to have her. 513 00:34:39,954 --> 00:34:44,417 Having to look at that girl's pointy face all day would make me ill. 514 00:34:44,584 --> 00:34:48,004 Just get rid of her like I asked you in the first place. 515 00:34:51,591 --> 00:34:56,596 If I don't know where to go, I'll get there. 516 00:34:57,346 --> 00:34:59,891 If I don't know where to go, I'll get there. 517 00:34:59,974 --> 00:35:01,642 If I don't know... 518 00:35:07,315 --> 00:35:10,860 Ten seconds. Nine, eight, seven, 519 00:35:10,943 --> 00:35:14,363 six, five, four... <i>...saves you money!</i> 520 00:35:24,415 --> 00:35:26,375 Is this a good morning or what? 521 00:35:26,459 --> 00:35:28,628 Well, 522 00:35:28,878 --> 00:35:32,423 with us today is Libby Cumba, author of this book. 523 00:35:34,675 --> 00:35:36,719 <i>Self-esteem for Parent and Child.</i> 524 00:35:37,178 --> 00:35:39,514 Good morning, Libby. Good morning, Grant. 525 00:35:39,597 --> 00:35:42,183 Good morning. Now, Libby, 526 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,727 I'm concerned with self-esteem. 527 00:35:45,144 --> 00:35:49,565 Personally, I've always had an odd preference for very, very young girls. 528 00:35:54,904 --> 00:35:58,366 Uh, uh, being a total prick... 529 00:36:01,577 --> 00:36:04,539 <i>...ly pear, I, uh...</i> 530 00:36:05,957 --> 00:36:08,501 Why don't we welcome this audience again, huh? 531 00:36:08,584 --> 00:36:10,086 Good morning! 532 00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:14,674 I make more of a mess than Ruby does. 533 00:36:14,757 --> 00:36:17,677 You guys, we have to have a family meeting. 534 00:36:17,802 --> 00:36:20,346 Something's happened. Oh, no! They've discovered NutraSweet 535 00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:22,223 causes you to grow a third eye. Oh, Jesus! 536 00:36:22,348 --> 00:36:25,601 Everything's gonna be fine. Just wear a patch. 537 00:36:25,726 --> 00:36:29,897 Working out a plan. There's a surgeon in Paris who'll just remove it... 538 00:36:30,064 --> 00:36:32,733 Just do