The Apartment

- Sir? 487 00:45:11,150 --> 00:45:13,610 You know how it is. They always give you a bad time. 488 00:45:13,780 --> 00:45:14,820 Yeah, I know how it is. 489 00:45:14,990 --> 00:45:19,700 You see a girl every week for laughs and they think you're gonna divorce your wife. 490 00:45:19,870 --> 00:45:23,040 - Now I ask you, is that fair? - No, sir. It's very unfair. 491 00:45:23,210 --> 00:45:25,250 - Especially to your wife. - Yeah. 492 00:45:25,630 --> 00:45:30,170 You know, Baxter, I envy you. A bachelor, all the dames you want, no complications. 493 00:45:30,340 --> 00:45:31,880 That's the life all right. 494 00:45:32,050 --> 00:45:34,290 - Put me down for Thursday again. - Roger. 495 00:45:34,550 --> 00:45:36,760 And I'll get that other key. 496 00:45:48,900 --> 00:45:52,740 - Merry Christmas. I'll connect you. - Merry Christmas. Consolidated Life. 497 00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:54,900 Merry Christmas. I'm ringing. 498 00:45:55,070 --> 00:45:57,070 Yeah? Yeah?! 499 00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:58,320 Where? 500 00:45:58,490 --> 00:45:59,700 You bet! 501 00:45:59,870 --> 00:46:04,240 Somebody watch my line. There's a swingin' party on the 19th floor! 502 00:46:33,070 --> 00:46:38,440 So I said to him "Never again. Either you get yourself a bigger car or a smaller girl." 503 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,370 Miss Kubelik? Miss... 504 00:46:41,580 --> 00:46:43,740 - Merry Christmas. - Thank you. 505 00:46:43,910 --> 00:46:46,950 - I thought you were avoiding me. - What gave you that idea? 506 00:46:47,130 --> 00:46:50,660 In six weeks you've only been in my elevator once, and you kept on your hat. 507 00:46:51,050 --> 00:46:54,460 As a matter of fact, I was rather hurt that night you stood me up. 508 00:46:54,630 --> 00:46:56,630 I don't blame you. It was unforgivable. 509 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,380 - I forgive you. - You shouldn't. 510 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,960 You couldn't help it. You can't suddenly walk out on one man... 511 00:47:02,140 --> 00:47:04,350 because you have a date with another man. 512 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,890 - You did the decent thing. - Don't be too sure. 513 00:47:07,060 --> 00:47:10,480 Just because I wear a uniform, that doesn't make me a Girl Scout. 514 00:47:10,650 --> 00:47:15,390 A second administrative assistant has to be a pretty good judge of character. 515 00:47:15,570 --> 00:47:17,980 And as far as I'm concerned, you're tops. 516 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:22,820 I mean decencywise and... otherwisewise. 517 00:47:22,990 --> 00:47:25,110 Cheers. 518 00:47:26,830 --> 00:47:29,120 - One more. - I shouldn't drink while driving. 519 00:47:29,290 --> 00:47:34,330 You're so right. By the power vested in me, I declare this elevator out of order. 520 00:47:34,510 --> 00:47:36,840 Shall we join the natives? 521 00:47:37,010 --> 00:47:40,500 - Why not? They seem friendly enough. - Don't you believe it. 522 00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:44,800 There'll be human sacrifices. White-collar workers tossed into computers... 523 00:47:44,980 --> 00:47:47,180 and punched full of little square holes. 524 00:47:47,350 --> 00:47:49,510 - How many drinks did you have? - Three! 525 00:47:49,690 --> 00:47:52,850 - I thought so. - Wait. I hear the sound of running water. 526 00:47:53,020 --> 00:47:55,640 - I'll be right back! - I'll be right here. 527 00:47:57,030 --> 00:47:58,690 Hi! 528 00:47:58,860 --> 00:48:01,450 How's the branch manager from Kansas City? 529 00:48:01,620 --> 00:48:03,280 - I beg your pardon? - I'm Miss Olsen. 530 00:48:03,450 --> 00:48:05,360 Mr. Sheldrake's secretary. 531 00:48:05,540 --> 00:48:07,870 So you don't have to play innocent with me. 532 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:12,030 He used to tell his wife I was the branch manager from Seattle... 533 00:48:12,210 --> 00:48:16,500 four years ago when we were having a little ring-a-ding-ding. 534 00:48:17,380 --> 00:48:21,500 - I don't know what you're talking about. - Before me it was Miss Rossi in Auditing. 535 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,300 And after me it was Miss Koch in Disability. 536 00:48:24,470 --> 00:48:26,810 And right before you was a Miss, um... 537 00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:29,310 Oh, what's her name? On the 25th floor. 538 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,970 - Would you excuse me? - What for? You haven't done anything. 539 00:48:33,230 --> 00:48:36,400 It's him. Oh, what a salesman! 540 00:48:36,900 --> 00:48:39,320 Always the last booth in the Chinese restaurant... 541 00:48:39,490 --> 00:48:42,610 and the same pitch about divorcing his wife. 542 00:48:44,700 --> 00:48:49,070 Then, in the end, you wind up with egg foo yung on your face. 543 00:48:49,370 --> 00:48:51,360 Miss Kubelik! 544 00:48:53,420 --> 00:48:55,160 Well, thank you, Miss Olsen. 545 00:48:55,340 --> 00:48:59,500 Always happy to do a little something for our girls in uniform. 546 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,760 Are you all right? What's the matter? 547 00:49:02,930 --> 00:49:05,510 Nothing. There are just too many people here. 548 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:09,590 Why don't we step ...