Appropriate Behavior

00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:45,998 IT'S IRAN, 537 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,100 THE COUNTRY THAT MY ENTIRE FAMILY COMES FROM. 538 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:49,936 YOU CAN'T KEEP PLAYING THE PERSIAN CARD 539 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,571 EVERY TIME WE HAVE AN ARGUMENT. 540 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:53,072 YOU NEED TO SEE FOR YOURSELF 541 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,974 HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO BE THE CHILD OF IMMIGRANTS. 542 00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:56,909 I WOULD LOVE TO. GREAT. 543 00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:58,645 THEN YOU'RE COMING TO A PERSIAN NEW YEAR PARTY 544 00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:00,913 THIS WEEKEND IN NEW JERSEY. 545 00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:03,516 AM I COMING AS YOUR DATE? GOD, NO. 546 00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,452 YOU'RE DEFINITELY COMING AS MY WHITE FRIEND. 547 00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:06,953 DO YOU THINK I HAVE A DEATH WISH? 548 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,423 YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WEAR A DRESS. 549 00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:11,458 NO. 550 00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:12,792 * 551 00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:15,094 [CHATTER] 552 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,433 GOOD. NOW YOU'RE GONNA SEND 'EM? YES. 553 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:21,968 [INAUDIBLE] 554 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,773 [MAXINE] IT'S LIKE WE JUST STEPPED INTO LIBERACE'S WET DREAM. 555 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,908 ISN'T IT SPECTACULAR? 556 00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:30,710 YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE BEING IN ENCLOSED SPACES 557 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,745 WHERE I CAN'T DETECT ANY VISIBLY GAY PEOPLE. 558 00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,146 WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE UNCLE NEEMA'S HARBORING 559 00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:36,949 SOME BI-CURIOUS TENDENCIES. 560 00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,118 YOU TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT? OH, GOD, NO. 561 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:40,953 PERSIANS COMMUNICATE MOSTLY THROUGH GOSSIP. 562 00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,955 [WOMAN] SHIRIN? 563 00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,123 OH, MY GOD! HI! 564 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,726 HI! HI! 565 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:57,604 MAXINE, THIS IS MITRA, YASSI, MEENU, AND YASSI. 566 00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:59,105 GUYS, THIS IS MY FRIEND MAXINE. 567 00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:00,707 HEY. 568 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:03,610 HEY. OH, MY GOD, YOU LOOK AMAZING. 569 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:06,212 RIGHT. NEXT TO YOU, I LOOK LIKE A BUSBOY FROM CHILI'S. 570 00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:09,248 OH, NO WAY. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A MODEL. 571 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,583 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 572 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:11,951 LIKE A "BEFORE" MODEL FOR ACCUTANE. 573 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,153 UH, I WOULD KILL FOR YOUR HEIGHT. 574 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:16,789 AND I WOULD SELL MY FIRSTBORN FOR YOUR SKIN. 575 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:18,525 STOP IT. 576 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,493 YOU STOP IT. [LAUGHS] 577 00:24:20,527 --> 00:24:22,495 WE NEED TO GET TOGETHER MORE. 578 00:24:22,529 --> 00:24:24,531 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL. 579 00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:25,598 HOW'S YOUR FATHER? 580 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:26,933 YOU KNOW, HE'S OKAY, 581 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,968 BUT THEN SOMETIMES HE'LL CRY OUT OF NOWHERE, 582 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,870 AND I'LL BE LIKE, "DAD, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? 583 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,138 YOU'RE EMASCULATING YOURSELF." 584 00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:33,973 OH, MY GOD! ROYA? [WOMEN SHRIEKING] 585 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:39,912 WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 586 00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:41,080 YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE. 587 00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:42,148 YEAH, EVERY TIME I SEE HER, 588 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:43,916 SHE COMPLIMENTS THE WAY I LOOK, 589 00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:45,718 SHE ASKS ONE PERSONAL QUESTION, 590 00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:48,020 AND THEN SHE WALKS AWAY WHILE I ANSWER. 591 00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:50,189 AND WHO'S SHE TALKING TO NOW? THAT'S ROYA. 592 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:53,893 HER FATHER JUST MADE A LOT OF MONEY IMPORTING SAMOVARS. 593 00:24:53,926 --> 00:24:55,094 LET'S GET A DRINK. 594 00:24:55,127 --> 00:24:56,563 WHEN ARE THEY SERVING DINNER? 595 00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:57,964 MIDNIGHT. 596 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,098 SERIOUSLY? 597 00:24:59,131 --> 00:25:00,600 GOD, YOU KNOW, I SHOULD HAVE TALKED 598 00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:02,769 ABOUT HER DAD'S COSMETIC DENTAL PRACTICE. 599 00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:04,236 YOU WERE BEING HONEST. 600 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:06,739 DO YOU THINK THEY WANT YOU TO BE HONEST AT THESE THINGS? 601 00:25:06,773 --> 00:25:08,641 OH, GET A GRIP. YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN. 602 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,843 YOU'VE BEEN TO HOW MANY PARTIES IN YOUR LIFE? 603 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,144 I DON'T KNOW. A LOT. 604 00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,212 AND WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART 605 00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:15,314 OF HAVING A GOOD TIME AT A PARTY? 606 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,049 DRINKING. AND? 607 00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:18,585 DANCING. 608 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,653 AND WHO'S VERY GOOD AT BOTH OF THOSE THINGS? 609 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:23,189 I AM. [CHUCKLES] THAT'S RIGHT. 610 00:25:23,222 --> 00:25:26,025 TWO VODKA TONICS, PLEASE. 611 0