Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:46,780 <i>Bonnie George Campbell Rode out on a day</i> 466 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:52,781 <i>Saddled and bridled So gallant rode he</i> 467 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:58,587 <i>Home came his good horse But never came he</i> 468 00:35:00,966 --> 00:35:04,596 Petunia, what have I told you about this? 469 00:35:04,803 --> 00:35:07,101 She thinks I'm a tree, you know. 470 00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:12,740 I think I know that song. I think-- I think our parents used to play it for us. 471 00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:16,073 They certainly did. As I did for mine. 472 00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,773 - You had children? - Oh, yes. 473 00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:21,783 And a wife and a home. 474 00:35:23,488 --> 00:35:24,614 Until the fire. 475 00:35:26,024 --> 00:35:27,321 A fire? 476 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:31,819 I may know better than anyone what you're going through. 477 00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:34,924 But it's gonna be all right. 478 00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:39,961 We'll be among people who understand us. People who are like us. 479 00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:42,634 People who appreciate unique children 480 00:35:42,841 --> 00:35:48,143 who can read and invent and bite things. 481 00:35:50,515 --> 00:35:53,644 Uncle Monty, why are you doing all this for us? 482 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,482 Isn't that what family does? 483 00:35:58,356 --> 00:36:01,815 <i>"And so the Baudelaire children went to Peru</i> 484 00:36:02,027 --> 00:36:03,756 <i>and together had wonderful adventures</i> 485 00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:07,330 <i>with their loving and wonderful new guardian.</i> 486 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,990 <i>The end."</i> 487 00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:14,498 <i>These are the words I desperately wish I could type.</i> 488 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:19,140 <i>Oh, I would give anything to say that the story ends here.</i> 489 00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:22,006 <i>But alas, my mission is not to weave happy endings</i> 490 00:36:22,213 --> 00:36:25,513 <i>where they do not occur but to report the actual events</i> 491 00:36:25,717 --> 00:36:28,880 <i>in the lives of the unfortunate Baudelaire children.</i> 492 00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:31,686 <i>And as much as it pains me,</i> 493 00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:35,690 <i>I must confess that their troubles had only just begun.</i> 494 00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:38,988 <i>And it did so with two musical notes.</i> 495 00:36:54,279 --> 00:36:55,542 Hello. 496 00:36:55,747 --> 00:37:00,412 I am looking for Dr. Montgomery Montgomery. 497 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,713 I am Stephano. I am an Italian man, 498 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:11,359 and I am here to assist him in his research as best I can. 499 00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:15,693 As well as to facilitate and remain observatory. 500 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,390 You're Count Olaf. 501 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:26,042 Now, why would you say something like that? 502 00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:30,276 I have never met such a person as a Count Olaf, 503 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,914 but if I had, 504 00:37:33,118 --> 00:37:37,715 I'm sure he would look and sound completely different. 505 00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:40,251 You're Olaf, and we're not letting you in. 506 00:37:46,297 --> 00:37:50,928 Well, perhaps you should re-evaluate your hypothesis. 507 00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:55,597 Anyway, that's why you should never run with one of these, kids. 508 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,468 Words of wisdom indeed, Mr. Stephano. 509 00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:01,270 Oops, you caught me being a mentor. 510 00:38:01,513 --> 00:38:04,483 And bless you for coming at such short notice. 511 00:38:04,716 --> 00:38:06,309 Not at all, not at all. 512 00:38:06,551 --> 00:38:10,419 My chief assistant, Gustav, took sick and phoned not one hour ago. 513 00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:13,091 He'd give anything to be here right now. 514 00:38:16,694 --> 00:38:18,594 Thank goodness you were available. 515 00:38:18,863 --> 00:38:23,767 Well, I am a fan, if I may gush. 516 00:38:24,035 --> 00:38:27,266 Your work has profoundly influenced my research 517 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:30,601 up at the Monterey Bay Aquarium... 518 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:33,607 ...on the sea snake. 519 00:38:34,212 --> 00:38:36,772 It's a very volatile animal. 520 00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:42,350 - Perhaps we should-- - I've been bitten 43... 700 times. 521 00:38:42,887 --> 00:38:44,355 Mostly on the face. 522 00:38:44,556 --> 00:38:47,526 A lot of this has been reconstructed. 523 00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,294 But I think they did one heck of a job, 524 00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:52,794 even though my mustache is a tad askew. 525 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,459 I wonder if I could get the kids to help me in with my bags. 526 00:38:59,737 --> 00:39:02,798 My left side is somewhat neurologically challenged. 527 00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:04,7