Zack and Miri Make a Porno

00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:16,057 Are you kidding? That party we went to where you got blasted, 513 00:32:16,234 --> 00:32:18,327 and Houls dared you to give yourself head, 514 00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:20,801 and we all watched you try for, like, an hour. 515 00:32:20,972 --> 00:32:25,773 Oh, yeah. Thanks by the way, for fucking letting me do that. Thank you. 516 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:28,378 Oh, God. We really do know too much about each other. 517 00:32:28,546 --> 00:32:32,141 See, and this would really just be one more thing. 518 00:32:32,317 --> 00:32:36,151 I mean, look at us. It's Thanksgiving and we're huddled around a flaming 519 00:32:36,321 --> 00:32:38,721 fucking garbage can like a couple of steno bums. 520 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:42,849 I mean, this could give us a chance to pay off our debt, pay our bills, 521 00:32:43,027 --> 00:32:46,963 get a fucking nicer apartment with heat in it maybe. 522 00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:51,462 What are you doing? 523 00:32:53,037 --> 00:32:58,134 Miriam Linky, will you have sex with me on camera for money? 524 00:33:05,350 --> 00:33:07,113 I will. 525 00:33:08,052 --> 00:33:09,417 <i>- A producer? - Yeah.</i> 526 00:33:09,587 --> 00:33:13,523 - Guy who gets to finance the movie. - You think I got that kind of money? 527 00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:16,683 We just need that. What you're about to spend on the flat screen. 528 00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:18,886 Now I can't get my flat screen? Fuck that. 529 00:33:19,063 --> 00:33:22,999 No, no, no. With your cut of the profits, you're gonna get two flat screens. 530 00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:25,431 One in your living room, one in your bathroom. 531 00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:27,366 One in the bathroom? 532 00:33:27,972 --> 00:33:30,873 You know, it's always been my dream to watch shit while I shit. 533 00:33:31,042 --> 00:33:33,670 Everyone with an ass loves to watch shit while they shit. 534 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,905 - I'm gonna make that happen for you. - I don't know, man. 535 00:33:37,081 --> 00:33:38,548 What else the producer do? 536 00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:42,582 - Um, they help with the casting. - What's casting? 537 00:33:42,754 --> 00:33:44,619 Finding the people to be in the movie. 538 00:33:44,789 --> 00:33:46,552 - I get to help pick the women? - Yeah. 539 00:33:46,724 --> 00:33:50,091 Like, I can look at a titty, make sure there ain't no moles on there? 540 00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:53,059 - You can look at both titties, man. - Man. 541 00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:57,065 I've been looking at the same busted titties for the past almost 20 years. 542 00:33:57,235 --> 00:34:01,797 - I'm due for another new titty. - Please help us. Please. 543 00:34:01,973 --> 00:34:03,702 Please. 544 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:08,778 Yes. Yes. I love you. 545 00:34:11,682 --> 00:34:13,377 Well, don't mind that smell. 546 00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:16,384 We had some homeless people squatting in here. 547 00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:19,819 You know, they'd void their bowels everywhere but the bathroom. 548 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:24,621 Anyway, you pick up the poop and you've got yourself a movie studio. 549 00:34:24,796 --> 00:34:26,525 Why don't we shoot in your apartment? 550 00:34:26,697 --> 00:34:28,858 No power. You wanna pay our electric bill? 551 00:34:29,033 --> 00:34:31,934 - You motherfuckers... - We'll take it. 552 00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:37,103 <i>- Bring it back.</i> - Fuck, fuck, fuck. 553 00:34:38,476 --> 00:34:41,502 <i>Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.</i> 554 00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:44,739 Oh, God. Come on. 555 00:34:45,516 --> 00:34:49,577 Why the fuck do I have to do everything? Fuckers. 556 00:34:52,123 --> 00:34:54,455 <i>Hey, what is that?</i> 557 00:34:55,193 --> 00:34:59,823 <i>Fucking guys. This fucking team, man. They fucking suck.</i> 558 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:04,166 I'm gonna hatefuck the shit out of you, ref. 559 00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:06,667 - Dude. - It's cool. 560 00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:08,669 - He's my cousin. - Hey. 561 00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:13,202 Didn't you used to videotape the varsity basketball games in high school? 562 00:35:13,578 --> 00:35:17,344 Just the away games. I did it because I was trying to fuck a cheerleader. 563 00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:18,539 Which one? 564 00:35:18,716 --> 00:35:22,584 Whichever one wanted to fuck the guy who taped the varsity games. 565 00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:25,516 - Aw. - Still know how to work a camera? 566 00:35:25,690 --> 00:35:28,784 - Who cares what the title is? - The porn I liked when I was a kid, 567 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,622 it was always, like, a spoof of a popular movie, you know? 568 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:34,321 Like, um, Edward Penishands. 569 00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:38,367 Okay, so we need a mildly clever, vaguely dirty title, 570 00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:40,128 that soun