Austin Powers in Goldmember

No? Pipe and a crepe? 518 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:42,484 - No? Bong and a blintz? NIGEL & AUSTIN: No. 519 00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:45,612 Ah, well. Then there is no pleasing you. 520 00:31:45,779 --> 00:31:47,489 That's not right. 521 00:31:47,656 --> 00:31:50,534 Ooh, hello. What have we here? 522 00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,202 That's a keeper. Yes. 523 00:31:52,369 --> 00:31:54,996 Put it in the skin box, please. With the others. 524 00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:58,500 - I'm peeling. - Oh, that's just disgusting. 525 00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:00,335 Quickly. Quickly. Thank you. 526 00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:01,670 Save me from myself. 527 00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,964 You're insane, Goldmember. 528 00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:05,507 [LAUGHS] 529 00:32:05,674 --> 00:32:08,176 And that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it. 530 00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:10,679 KC and the Sunshine Band. 531 00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:14,141 All right, Goldmember, don't play the laughing boy. 532 00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:17,352 There are only two things I can't stand in this world: 533 00:32:17,519 --> 00:32:21,731 People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... 534 00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:24,025 ...and the Dutch. GOLDMEMBER: What? 535 00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:26,278 [BEEPS] 536 00:32:27,696 --> 00:32:29,364 Take the father away. 537 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:35,954 Dutch-hater. And now, ha, ha, it is time to say goodbye. 538 00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,206 Dr. Evil's orders. 539 00:32:38,373 --> 00:32:41,710 Which for you is bad news, bears. 540 00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:42,961 Walter Matthau. 541 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,379 Shazam. 542 00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:47,090 Up yours, jive turkey. 543 00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:49,050 - Traitor. - Ugh! 544 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,511 Heh-heh-heh. Yes, the gun. Good, very good. 545 00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:53,221 2002. 546 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,892 They're taking my father to the time machine. 547 00:32:57,058 --> 00:32:59,936 - The say-what machine? GOLDMEMBER: Come on, now. Ha, ha. 548 00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:01,646 AUSTIN: No! - This way, sugar. 549 00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:14,117 That was close, Foxxy. I owe you one. 550 00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:18,371 Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office. It's a microfilm. It may be a clue. 551 00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:21,208 - Smashing. - I want to go to the future with you. 552 00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:24,419 We can catch Goldmember together. I owe it to my partner. 553 00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:27,547 I should warn you, Foxxy, 2002 is very different. 554 00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:30,592 Well, heh, the future better get ready for me. 555 00:33:30,759 --> 00:33:35,013 Because I'm Foxxy Cleopatra and I'm a whole lot of woman. 556 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:37,432 [BOTH LAUGH] 557 00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:40,769 2002, here we come. 558 00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:51,196 GUARD [OVER PA]: <i>All visitations limited to five minutes.</i> 559 00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,615 <i>No spitting in the visitors' room.</i> 560 00:33:57,619 --> 00:33:59,120 Herr Doctor... 561 00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:00,956 ...I have some news. 562 00:34:01,122 --> 00:34:02,749 - It's your son. - Oh. 563 00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:04,793 He wants to take over the family business. 564 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,295 Scotty does? 565 00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:10,507 Oh, he's gotten so evil, he has even started losing his hair. 566 00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:12,092 I know, it's sweet. 567 00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:15,303 Oh, he just wants to make you proud, Herr Doctor. 568 00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,847 After all, it's hard on the boy not having a father. 569 00:34:18,014 --> 00:34:22,143 You know, first you were frozen, then you were in space, now you're in jail. 570 00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:24,938 Well, don't tell me he feels neglected. 571 00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:27,941 I was adopted by fricking Belgians, eh? 572 00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:29,484 You were adopted? 573 00:34:29,651 --> 00:34:32,195 I never met my birth parents. 574 00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:34,656 There was a car accident. 575 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,742 EVIL: <i>I'm told it was a beautiful Belgian day.</i> 576 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:41,913 <i>The smell of waffles and Brussels sprouts filled the summer air...</i> 577 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,748 <i>...until...</i> 578 00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:47,002 <i>My birth mother was incinerated.</i> 579 00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:50,213 I only survived because her smoking carcass... 580 00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:54,009 ...formed a protective cocoon of slaughtered human effluence. 581 00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:57,262 EVIL: <i>A Belgian man and his 15-year-old love slave with webbed feet...</i> 582 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,930 <i>...was looting the accident scene.</i> 583 00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:01,308 They came across a blood-soaked bab