Voicemails for Isabelle

00:36:33,542 --> 00:36:36,375 - But you're not sad. He's not sad. - Mm-mm. No, he's not. 716 00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:39,417 - And he knows exactly how gorgeous he is. - What? 717 00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:40,740 You think I'm gorgeous, Breeds? 718 00:36:40,792 --> 00:36:42,375 - You think he's gorgeous? - [cell rings] 719 00:36:42,458 --> 00:36:43,583 - Wait. - [Breeda] I mean… 720 00:36:43,667 --> 00:36:46,333 Now he has two phones to use for evil. 721 00:36:46,417 --> 00:36:47,792 [Breeda] Oh, great. 722 00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:52,917 No. Okay, so this random girl has been leaving voice mails on my new work cell, 723 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,625 and they're for her sister. 724 00:36:54,708 --> 00:36:57,125 - And they're, like, kinda hilarious. - [Breeda] Wait. 725 00:36:57,208 --> 00:36:59,917 How does she not know that her sister changed her number? 726 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,321 - Text her. - [Wes] I thought I did. 727 00:37:01,375 --> 00:37:05,250 I'm gonna just see what's happening with the douchecaster real quick. 728 00:37:06,542 --> 00:37:08,292 - Douchecaster? - Douchecaster? 729 00:37:08,375 --> 00:37:13,833 Guess who's officially being ghosted by a Hitch wannabe. 730 00:37:13,917 --> 00:37:16,167 [chuckles] I am. 731 00:37:16,250 --> 00:37:19,833 And I am never gonna make baker 732 00:37:19,917 --> 00:37:23,333 because, um, I boned the competition 733 00:37:23,417 --> 00:37:27,000 and now he's out to destroy my life, which rocks. 734 00:37:27,083 --> 00:37:29,000 Um, so, yeah. 735 00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:31,750 I'm, uh… 736 00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:35,875 I'm just calling you to ask… 737 00:37:37,708 --> 00:37:38,917 How… 738 00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:44,667 Am I supposed to do this without you? 739 00:37:44,750 --> 00:37:47,750 [poignant music playing] 740 00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:51,417 We were supposed to die together. 741 00:37:52,458 --> 00:37:53,833 We made a deal. 742 00:37:54,417 --> 00:37:57,292 Like Noah and Allie in <i>The Notebook.</i> 743 00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:00,500 "You're a bird, I'm a bird," you whore. 744 00:38:03,542 --> 00:38:05,500 "I wish I knew how to quit you." 745 00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:07,458 Okay, I'll stop. 746 00:38:08,750 --> 00:38:10,583 You're in a better place. 747 00:38:12,375 --> 00:38:15,750 Probably slurping face with Heath Ledger as we speak, huh? 748 00:38:20,583 --> 00:38:22,125 But I miss you. 749 00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:24,083 My lad. 750 00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:27,708 Every minute… 751 00:38:29,542 --> 00:38:31,833 Of every single day. 752 00:38:36,625 --> 00:38:38,708 This party sucks without you. 753 00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:43,125 Call me? 754 00:38:43,208 --> 00:38:45,208 [poignant music continues] 755 00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:51,208 [Wes] <i>Isabelle's dead. They're…</i> 756 00:38:52,125 --> 00:38:54,375 They're voice mails for her dead sister. 757 00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:56,208 - What? - What? 758 00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:58,083 - Oh, my God, that's heartbreaking. - Uh… 759 00:38:58,167 --> 00:39:00,292 You gotta tell her. 760 00:39:00,375 --> 00:39:03,083 - Now you're a sicko. - No, no, no, do not tell her. 761 00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:05,125 She's healing. This is her way of healing. 762 00:39:05,208 --> 00:39:07,750 [Andy] Just stop listening to her like a creeper, then. 763 00:39:07,833 --> 00:39:10,750 [Breeda] Yeah, maybe stop listening to her like a creeper, then. 764 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,708 <i>You tell him you no longer want to invest in something that isn't going anywhere.</i> 765 00:39:17,792 --> 00:39:19,667 You shut your whore mouth when you talk! 766 00:39:19,750 --> 00:39:21,333 - [Jim] Wes. - Hey! Hey, Jim. 767 00:39:21,417 --> 00:39:22,458 Red River closed? 768 00:39:22,542 --> 00:39:24,583 - Yes, sir. - Very nice. 769 00:39:24,667 --> 00:39:25,667 What's next? 770 00:39:27,542 --> 00:39:31,708 Hey, is Donovan still slipping on that San Fran spot? 771 00:39:34,167 --> 00:39:38,250 - [snickers] - He goes, "Jill, this is exciting." 772 00:39:38,333 --> 00:39:42,208 I shit you not, those were his final words to me. 773 00:39:42,292 --> 00:39:45,000 He has no… soul! 774 00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:47,958 I must protect womankind! 775 00:39:48,042 --> 00:39:49,375 Well, guess what? 776 00:39:49,458 --> 00:39:50,958 [chortles] 777 00:39:51,042 --> 00:39:56,500 <i>Love, Not Actually </i>has a live podcast taping… tomorrow! 778 00:39:58,167 --> 00:40:02,500 And I know, if you were here, I know what you would say. 779 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:03,917 You would say, 780 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,917 in the immortal words of our queen, 781 00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:10,542 Michelle Obama, esquire, 782 00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:12,083 "When they go low…" 783 00:40:12,667 --> 00:40:15,250 - "We go high." - "…we go lower!" 784 00:40:15,333 -->...