Killing Bono

619 00:35:30,788 --> 00:35:33,705 - What would mam say? - I know. 620 00:35:35,330 --> 00:35:37,122 - Has he got any more, do you think? - Yeah, yeah. 621 00:35:51,205 --> 00:35:53,580 And we're gonna be in the studio soon. We're gonna be doing a music video. 622 00:35:53,788 --> 00:35:56,455 Like those big fuck off, snow white palace in all the snow, like. 623 00:35:56,663 --> 00:35:58,288 Except for we're naked. Except for we're wearing fur. 624 00:35:58,497 --> 00:36:00,288 And everybody's dancing, everybody's thinking about 625 00:36:00,497 --> 00:36:02,122 having sex with each other. But no, wait. 626 00:36:02,330 --> 00:36:04,205 Everybody is actually having sex with each other. 627 00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:07,538 You, me, everyone in the whole video, all up in Iceland and stuff. 628 00:36:07,705 --> 00:36:10,705 Fucking hell, look, he's snogging that bird now. Get off her! 629 00:36:10,872 --> 00:36:12,413 Jesus. Oh, shit. 630 00:36:29,205 --> 00:36:32,372 Would you mind if we did it with the lights off? 631 00:36:34,580 --> 00:36:37,830 I hope that shag was worth it, 'cause we're late for signing our contract. 632 00:36:37,997 --> 00:36:40,538 Maybe I'm getting heartache. I'm feeling a bit worried 'cause of the coke. 633 00:36:40,746 --> 00:36:43,288 - I think I'm feeling a bit hyper. - Will you shut up? 634 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,330 Hello. 635 00:36:53,538 --> 00:36:55,496 Hi, where is Hammond? 636 00:36:55,705 --> 00:36:57,288 - Are you the new runners? - No. 637 00:36:57,455 --> 00:37:00,413 No, no, we are not the new runners. We're the McCormick's. 638 00:37:00,580 --> 00:37:03,663 We're Hammond's new act, we're just here to sign the old contracts. 639 00:37:03,871 --> 00:37:05,996 Hammond's history. Axed. 640 00:37:06,621 --> 00:37:09,621 Kept spunking cash into Kajagoogoo. 641 00:37:10,830 --> 00:37:12,830 I'm the new Hammond. 642 00:37:13,455 --> 00:37:14,455 - What? - No. 643 00:37:14,663 --> 00:37:16,621 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 644 00:37:16,788 --> 00:37:18,496 What was the last thing he said before he left? 645 00:37:18,705 --> 00:37:21,621 Let me think. 646 00:37:21,788 --> 00:37:24,496 I'm gonna sue you bastards right through the arsehole. 647 00:37:24,663 --> 00:37:28,246 Then he sort of broke down. It was all very uncool. 648 00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:29,955 Yeah, but he did tell you about our deal? 649 00:37:30,121 --> 00:37:32,246 Yeah, and the fifty grand advance. 650 00:37:32,413 --> 00:37:35,413 Oh yeah, it's ringing bells. Ding-aling-ling. 651 00:37:35,580 --> 00:37:39,246 But I'd say a hundred's more realistic. 652 00:37:39,455 --> 00:37:41,080 - A hundred grand? - Yeah. 653 00:37:41,246 --> 00:37:43,038 - I tell you what. - What? 654 00:37:43,205 --> 00:37:46,163 You boys will look fucking fantastic on camera. 655 00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:48,996 We'll do you a video to rival Duran Duran. 656 00:37:49,163 --> 00:37:50,163 OK, yeah. 657 00:37:50,371 --> 00:37:52,538 And we'll shoot it on the moon. 658 00:37:52,705 --> 00:37:54,580 What? Really? 659 00:37:54,746 --> 00:37:57,413 No. Not really. 660 00:37:57,580 --> 00:38:00,996 In fact, I'll tell you why you boys will never be signed to this label. 661 00:38:01,163 --> 00:38:05,455 You look like a pair of mental fortune tellers from a gypsy fair. 662 00:38:05,621 --> 00:38:08,788 And Hammond liked you. Therefore, I hate you. 663 00:38:08,955 --> 00:38:11,496 I wouldn't sign you to this label if you paid me a hundred grand 664 00:38:11,663 --> 00:38:13,455 and let me John Paul Pope your mother. 665 00:38:14,705 --> 00:38:17,580 Don't hit me. Don't hit me. 666 00:38:17,746 --> 00:38:20,538 You do not throw the McCormick's out with the trash. 667 00:38:20,705 --> 00:38:21,746 Did you hear me? 668 00:38:21,913 --> 00:38:24,496 This means war! 669 00:38:56,163 --> 00:38:57,205 Neil McCormick. 670 00:38:57,371 --> 00:39:00,246 Neil, you're a hard bugger to track down. 671 00:39:01,871 --> 00:39:03,371 Did you listen to the new U2 album? 672 00:39:03,538 --> 00:39:06,163 Yeah. Yeah... it's OK. 673 00:39:06,330 --> 00:39:08,413 <i>Never gonna knock Thriller off the top spot though, is it?</i> 674 00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,913 Still, you told Mr. Machin you'd be bigger than them 675 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,205 and you're still a pair of no marks. Sharon, you're late. 676 00:39:16,496 --> 00:39:18,830 He wants come back on his cash or he'll cut yous off. 677 00:39:18,996 --> 00:39:21,496 He says you're his biggest cash haemorrhoid. 678 00:39:21,663 --> 00:39:25,371 Haemorrhage, Plugger. We're his biggest cash haemorrhage. 679 00:39:25,538 --> 00:39:28,496 But I'm gonna sort it out. That'll change. 680 00:39:28,663 --> 00:39:30,830 Well, it better. Don't make me come over there, Neil. 681 00:39:30,996 --> 00:3