Oh, Hello on Broadway

Oh, the Beacon Theater, it's like the Apollo Theater 576 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:05,520 for people who are scared to go into the Apollo. 577 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:08,940 Walter Becker from Steely Dan, 578 00:35:09,024 --> 00:35:13,486 playing his guitar like he's in the band at the end of a Lunesta commercial. 579 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:17,449 Donald Fagen on the keys 580 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:21,328 looking like if Ray Charles played the organ at a reformed synagogue. 581 00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,669 George, did you know the name Steely Dan 582 00:35:29,753 --> 00:35:32,922 originated as a dildo in a William Burroughs novel? 583 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:34,424 Of course, I know that. 584 00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:37,010 You and I know a lot about Steely Dan. 585 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:41,598 - Gil? - Here. 586 00:35:41,723 --> 00:35:43,892 - Would you check the mail for me? - All right. 587 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,519 I'm waiting on a reply from my publisher 588 00:35:46,603 --> 00:35:50,357 about my new novel, <i>Next Stop: Ronkonkoma.</i> 589 00:35:50,732 --> 00:35:53,777 It's the story of a Long Island railroad trip 590 00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:57,155 told from a hundred different perspectives. 591 00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:04,537 Let's see here. 592 00:36:04,621 --> 00:36:06,206 "Attention, tenants. 593 00:36:06,289 --> 00:36:10,043 Water will be shut off from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. 594 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:11,795 to punish the unemployed." 595 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:15,674 Seems mean-spirited, right? 596 00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:17,467 I make my own water. 597 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,680 Oh, yeah, OK. This one. 598 00:36:21,763 --> 00:36:24,391 "Dear Mr. Reddington and Mr. Stone, 599 00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:28,645 Your rent controlled apartment is no longer rent-controlled." 600 00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:33,942 But we've been living in this apartment for 40 years, 601 00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:36,486 paying $75 a month. 602 00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:39,698 It's our God-given right to pay the same amount of rent 603 00:36:39,781 --> 00:36:42,409 regardless of property value or inflation. 604 00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:44,536 This is an nut-rage. 605 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,996 Ravi, I need that chair to shatter. 606 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,748 Let me see this. 607 00:36:48,832 --> 00:36:52,585 "Your rent is being increased to $2,500 a month." 608 00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:56,131 Twenty-five hundred dollars for a measly five-bedroom 609 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:58,675 with office, crown molding, and fireplace? 610 00:36:59,175 --> 00:37:01,219 How much money do I even have on me? 611 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:04,431 What is this? "Remember, you have Alzheimer's." 612 00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:06,599 What does that even mean? 613 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:12,272 I'm so sick of finding all these stupid notes in all my shit. 614 00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:16,776 When I find the guy that's putting them there... 615 00:37:16,860 --> 00:37:18,987 What are you gonna do to him, Georgie? 616 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:20,947 You know, c'mere jabroni. 617 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:22,449 Stay out of my mirror. 618 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:25,326 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 619 00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:28,037 Tell me, Gil, is there a third... 620 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:33,334 Tell me, Gil, is there a third letter from my... 621 00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,962 - It works best if I do the set up. - OK. 622 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:41,801 Gil, is there a... Fucking wait! 623 00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:59,694 Say, Gil, is there a third letter from my publisher? 624 00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:02,030 Maybe if they sent a big enough advance, 625 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,532 we don't have to worry about the new rent. 626 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,164 - Give me the fucking letter. - Just ask for the letter. 627 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,501 - Are we on the same team? - Yeah. 628 00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:16,252 The '86 Mets. 629 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:21,508 - You're all right, you know that? - Yeah, thanks, man. 630 00:38:22,175 --> 00:38:25,220 - It's from them and it's nice and thin. - Less is more, Georgie. 631 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:28,097 Good news comes in thin envelopes. 632 00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:30,558 "Dear Mr. Reddington. 633 00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:34,938 We received your amazing manuscript, <i>Next Stop: Ronkonkoma.</i> 634 00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:38,525 A one thousand page, totally unproofed document. 635 00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:44,239 Unfortunately, we are only interested in young adult puff pieces now. 636 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,533 Like <i>Twilight </i>or <i>The Corrections.</i> 637 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:50,161 Maybe you should give more thought to a younger audience." 638 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,372 The nerve of these people. 639 00:38:52,455 --> 00:38:5