The Jerk Theory

00:31:30,687 --> 00:31:33,565 Get your weight guessed right here!. Only a buck!. 423 00:31:33,647 --> 00:31:38,038 Actual weight guessing!. Take a chance, win some crap. Step right up-- 424 00:31:38,127 --> 00:31:40,595 Ladies and gentlemen... 425 00:31:40,807 --> 00:31:45,278 ...l draw your attention now to the left side ofthe midway. 426 00:31:45,607 --> 00:31:49,964 Presenting the amazing Patti Bernstein... 427 00:31:50,887 --> 00:31:53,242 ...doing her special ride... 428 00:31:53,367 --> 00:31:56,359 ...through the Flaming Wall of Death! 429 00:32:58,927 --> 00:33:00,918 Want to guess my weight, Greenie? 430 00:33:01,207 --> 00:33:03,767 I saw you last night. You were great. 431 00:33:03,927 --> 00:33:06,157 Yeah, right. Turn around. 432 00:33:06,927 --> 00:33:08,076 What? 433 00:33:08,247 --> 00:33:09,805 Turn around. 434 00:33:11,927 --> 00:33:13,246 Go like this. 435 00:33:17,087 --> 00:33:20,284 You're okay. Give me a bite of that corn dog. 436 00:33:20,687 --> 00:33:22,564 What about germs? 437 00:33:23,407 --> 00:33:25,238 Put a rubber on it. 438 00:33:27,807 --> 00:33:29,126 Get on. 439 00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:37,877 Don't you wear him out!. He's got to work tonight. 440 00:33:44,447 --> 00:33:46,005 What a great place!. 441 00:33:49,367 --> 00:33:52,803 You know, you can tell so much about a person from the way they live. 442 00:33:52,887 --> 00:33:54,878 Just looking around here, l can tell... 443 00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:57,606 ...you're a genuinely dirty person. 444 00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:02,726 What do l do with this? 445 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:07,805 You keep it there. 446 00:34:11,807 --> 00:34:13,286 Where's your garbage? 447 00:34:16,727 --> 00:34:17,796 There. 448 00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:24,281 -Do you know what l'd like to do? -What? 449 00:34:25,567 --> 00:34:27,046 Guess your weight. 450 00:34:27,127 --> 00:34:28,765 That would be interesting for me. 451 00:34:28,847 --> 00:34:31,042 No one has tried to guess my weight. 452 00:34:31,127 --> 00:34:34,119 -I guess their weight so it would be sort-- -Put your arms up. 453 00:34:36,607 --> 00:34:39,326 This will give me a whole different perspective on this. 454 00:34:44,127 --> 00:34:46,561 You're really trying to be accurate. 455 00:34:52,167 --> 00:34:54,078 Is it getting hot in here? 456 00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,924 Wait a minute!. 457 00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,556 What's happening to my special purpose? 458 00:34:59,647 --> 00:35:01,126 What's your special purpose? 459 00:35:01,207 --> 00:35:04,279 When l was a kid, my mom told me that was my special purpose... 460 00:35:04,367 --> 00:35:07,200 ...and someday l'd find out what that special purpose was!. 461 00:35:07,287 --> 00:35:09,039 Today's the day!. 462 00:35:14,527 --> 00:35:16,404 This is like a ride!. 463 00:35:18,007 --> 00:35:21,556 "My dear family, guess what? 464 00:35:22,207 --> 00:35:27,406 "Today l found out what my special purpose is for. 465 00:35:28,687 --> 00:35:31,599 "Gosh, what a great time l had. 466 00:35:31,927 --> 00:35:35,715 "l wish the whole family could have been here with me. 467 00:35:36,287 --> 00:35:38,755 "Maybe some other time... 468 00:35:39,207 --> 00:35:42,244 "...as l intend to do this a lot... 469 00:35:42,967 --> 00:35:45,242 "...every chance l get. 470 00:35:45,847 --> 00:35:49,123 "l think next week l'll be able to send more money... 471 00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:51,761 "...as l may have extra work. 472 00:35:52,007 --> 00:35:55,124 "My friend Patti promised me a blow job. 473 00:35:55,207 --> 00:35:57,198 "Your loving son, Navin." 474 00:35:57,527 --> 00:35:59,961 And he's got the kisses here. 475 00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:05,806 -That Patti must be a sweet girl. -God bless her. 476 00:36:31,887 --> 00:36:36,039 Do you think we'll get to know each other well enough to kiss? 477 00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:38,516 We don't have to. You're my man. 478 00:36:38,687 --> 00:36:41,485 It's like we're married. Look at my ass. 479 00:36:43,807 --> 00:36:47,322 You have my last name tattooed right there under the J's. 480 00:36:48,207 --> 00:36:52,166 First l get my name in the phone book, and now l'm on your ass. 481 00:36:52,487 --> 00:36:56,366 You know, l'll bet more people see that than the phone book. 482 00:37:08,967 --> 00:37:10,241 End of the line. 483 00:37:10,327 --> 00:37:13,717 This is Engineer Fred. Come back and visit me again. 484 00:37:17,687 --> 00:37:19,006 Billy!. 485 00:37:25,367 --> 00:37:29,838 Have you seen a 5-year-old boy, blond hair, wearing a T-shirt that says "bullshit" on it? 486 00:37:29,967 --> 00:37:34,199 No, there was just one kid had a T-shirt that said "life sucks" on it. 487 00:37:34,487 --> 00:37:37,843 We got off the Round-Up, and he said he wanted to go on the train. 488 00:37:37,927 --> 00:37:39,599 Th