Not Another Teen Movie

00:28:59,683 --> 00:29:03,245 Next time, I'm cracking skulls. 400 00:29:19,037 --> 00:29:21,665 How many times have I sald I'm not going to Princeton? 401 00:29:21,907 --> 00:29:23,772 I'm not pressuring you. 402 00:29:24,209 --> 00:29:25,870 Just give it four years. 403 00:29:26,111 --> 00:29:29,410 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 404 00:29:29,648 --> 00:29:32,412 I don't want your life! 405 00:29:33,218 --> 00:29:34,276 That's okay, son. 406 00:29:34,519 --> 00:29:37,283 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 407 00:29:37,522 --> 00:29:38,819 The good news is... 408 00:29:39,024 --> 00:29:41,516 ...I've got the perfect rebound girl. 409 00:29:41,761 --> 00:29:43,023 Really? 410 00:29:44,397 --> 00:29:47,093 Beverly! Could you come in here? 411 00:29:53,205 --> 00:29:54,433 That's Mom! 412 00:29:54,707 --> 00:29:56,698 What do you say, kiddo? 413 00:29:57,476 --> 00:29:59,808 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 414 00:30:10,356 --> 00:30:12,517 Would you prefer the top or bottom, dear? 415 00:30:12,725 --> 00:30:15,216 Oh, my God! 416 00:30:15,628 --> 00:30:17,926 So you in love? 417 00:30:20,299 --> 00:30:24,066 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 418 00:30:24,304 --> 00:30:28,434 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 419 00:30:33,981 --> 00:30:37,348 Janey? Sweetheart? 420 00:30:39,853 --> 00:30:41,252 Hi, Daddy. 421 00:30:41,455 --> 00:30:44,219 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 422 00:30:44,791 --> 00:30:47,453 You were passed out on the table. 423 00:30:52,933 --> 00:30:54,696 Listen, honey... 424 00:30:54,935 --> 00:30:58,928 ...I may not always be coherent or conscious... 425 00:30:59,206 --> 00:31:03,610 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 426 00:31:04,045 --> 00:31:07,014 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake. 427 00:31:07,248 --> 00:31:10,877 Oh, sweetie. 428 00:31:12,186 --> 00:31:14,677 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 429 00:31:14,889 --> 00:31:16,789 No, he asked me out. 430 00:31:18,493 --> 00:31:21,758 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 431 00:31:22,096 --> 00:31:24,792 I mean, would you give him head? 432 00:31:24,999 --> 00:31:27,832 He is kind of cute, but... 433 00:31:28,069 --> 00:31:30,401 ...he's always been a total jerk. 434 00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:33,129 It's welrd that he's talking to me now. 435 00:31:33,374 --> 00:31:37,140 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 436 00:31:41,350 --> 00:31:43,841 What do you think I should do? 437 00:31:44,086 --> 00:31:45,713 Look, sweetie. 438 00:31:45,954 --> 00:31:50,448 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 439 00:31:50,692 --> 00:31:54,025 ...because you're very, very special to me. 440 00:31:54,263 --> 00:31:58,199 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 441 00:31:58,734 --> 00:32:00,725 ...well, then I'd say... 442 00:32:00,936 --> 00:32:02,733 ...go out with him. 443 00:32:02,971 --> 00:32:06,532 You could certalnly use the popularity points. 444 00:32:06,942 --> 00:32:08,739 And if Jake likes you... 445 00:32:08,977 --> 00:32:14,108 ...then maybe those kids'll quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 446 00:32:19,655 --> 00:32:21,317 I feel better. 447 00:32:23,927 --> 00:32:26,623 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 448 00:32:27,564 --> 00:32:30,829 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 449 00:32:35,472 --> 00:32:36,439 Catherine. 450 00:32:37,807 --> 00:32:40,935 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 451 00:32:41,411 --> 00:32:43,436 No, not that. 452 00:32:45,215 --> 00:32:48,150 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 453 00:32:48,384 --> 00:32:52,548 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 454 00:32:52,789 --> 00:32:56,316 That girl with the glasses and the ponytalI? 455 00:32:56,559 --> 00:32:59,460 Don't forget the palnt-covered overalls. 456 00:33:00,697 --> 00:33:03,132 Well... 457 00:33:03,367 --> 00:33:05,892 ...it's going to be difficult. 458 00:33:06,670 --> 00:33:08,934 But I think I can help you. 459 00:33:09,173 --> 00:33:10,606 Sit. 460 00:33:13,844 --> 00:33:15,471 For a price. 461 00:33:17,681 --> 00:33:20,844 And this time, I don't want your car. 462 00:33:22,586 --> 00:33:24,247 I want you. 463 00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:28,115 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 464 00:33:28,359 --> 00:33:30,850 Only by blood. 465 00:33:31,095 --> 00:33:36,556 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 466 00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:53,243 Okay, there are three things you need to do... 467 00:33:53,451 --> 00:33:56,215 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 468 00:34:04,429 --> 00:34:06,192 First, you earn her trust. 469 00:34:06,932 --> 00:34:07,990 Punk! 470 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,690 Come on, leave him alone! 471 00:34:10,068 --> 00:34:14,061 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 472 00:34:17,842 --> 00:34:19,434 You little shit. 473 00:34:31,090 --> 00:34:33,718 Don't you guys mess with h...