Whatever Works

00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:51,570 - Pardon me? - Well, you know, everything ends. 548 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,700 I don't think I follow. 549 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:58,620 Well, you know, it's like the cosmos, or eternity. 550 00:29:59,010 --> 00:30:02,490 Whichever's bigger. I just know that we're all flying apart. 551 00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:06,210 What is that? What is that? Is that a move? 552 00:30:06,310 --> 00:30:07,540 Well, I thought your bishop was... 553 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,130 My bishop what? What? You patzer, you earthworm! 554 00:30:10,230 --> 00:30:13,220 How many times do I have to tell you? You don't take that pawn. 555 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,260 That's called the poisoned pawn, because look! 556 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,720 - Boris! - Look what happens! 557 00:30:17,820 --> 00:30:19,050 - Sorry, Mr. Yellnikoff. - Yeah, you're sorry, 558 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:21,180 you're sorry. Use your head next time, you won't be sorry! 559 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,310 - Boris! - Yeah. Do your homework next week. 560 00:30:23,410 --> 00:30:25,190 Don't waste my time. 561 00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:26,980 - Hey! - Poisoned! 562 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,230 I got off work early today and I thought maybe we could walk home together. 563 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:32,530 Maybe I can make black-eyed peas and crab cakes for dinner. 564 00:30:32,630 --> 00:30:34,700 - No, I'm not hungry. - What's the matter? 565 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,030 - My ulcer's been killing me all day. - I thought you didn't have an ulcer. 566 00:30:38,130 --> 00:30:40,580 No, I said they can't find an ulcer, not that I don't have one. 567 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,700 Those malpractice medical mental midgets. 568 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,540 They drop that endoscope down my throat and probe me like coal miners, 569 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,040 and they always come up with nothing! 570 00:30:48,140 --> 00:30:50,000 Well, guess what happened today? 571 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:54,840 I got to talking to this boy on the job, and he asked me out on a date. 572 00:30:55,690 --> 00:30:57,260 Really? 573 00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,640 I could tell he liked me right off 574 00:30:59,740 --> 00:31:03,350 and we went and had coffee and just had, you know, funny banter. 575 00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:05,310 You know what banter is, it's like flirty talk. 576 00:31:05,410 --> 00:31:07,600 Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar with banter. 577 00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:10,440 Yeah, so, anyway, he asked if I had a boyfriend. 578 00:31:10,540 --> 00:31:14,940 I said, "Not really." He said, "I'll pick you up Friday at 8:00." 579 00:31:15,250 --> 00:31:17,070 What do you think? 580 00:31:17,170 --> 00:31:22,580 Great. I just hope he's not a Ted Bundy, you know. 581 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,410 A who? 582 00:31:24,510 --> 00:31:26,580 You have to keep an eye out for serial killers. 583 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,130 He's not a serial killer. At least he didn't mention it. 584 00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:31,920 Yeah, well, you have to be careful. 585 00:31:32,020 --> 00:31:34,590 Sometimes they put you in the trunk of a car and you can't breathe. 586 00:31:34,690 --> 00:31:36,550 I'm not... I'm serious. 587 00:31:36,650 --> 00:31:40,130 I told him your theory about capital punishment. 588 00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:41,930 What did you say? 589 00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:46,060 That it should include people that don't pick up after their dogs, 590 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,593 people who ride their bikes on the sidewalk, 591 00:31:48,693 --> 00:31:50,730 people who call mothers "moms" and... 592 00:31:50,830 --> 00:31:54,150 I can't remember them all, you have so many. 593 00:31:59,630 --> 00:32:02,070 - How do I look? - Subnormal. 594 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:04,240 Why? What's wrong? 595 00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:05,950 That's an awfully aggressive ensemble. 596 00:32:06,050 --> 00:32:08,620 You looking to wind up in an abortion clinic? 597 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,120 I want to look nice. 598 00:32:10,220 --> 00:32:13,084 Just kind of give him an idea of what he might be in for 599 00:32:13,184 --> 00:32:14,590 if he plays his cards right. 600 00:32:14,690 --> 00:32:17,210 Oh, yeah? What's he in for? 601 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,470 All the stuff with a woman that you reject, 602 00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:22,050 because you're a genius and you're above it all. 603 00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:24,100 But I happen to be pretty sharp, too, 604 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,140 and I have a natural talent in the field of fooling around. 605 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,430 Yeah, well, I just hope you're saving your money 606 00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:32,600 so you can move out quickly, you know, now that you're working. 607 00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:33,219 Hi, Perry! 608 00:32:33,319 --> 00...