Grumpy Old Men

It's the Green Hornet. 533 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,648 [SOBBING] 534 00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:32,152 - How are you, Punky? - Hey, buttercup. 535 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,237 Give me two packs of Camels... 536 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:38,283 ...and a cup of your special coffee, you love muffin, you. 537 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,244 You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes, Pop. 538 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:45,749 Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care, huh? 539 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,627 Oh, thank you, dear. 540 00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:54,549 [MAX GRUNTING] 541 00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:00,347 [CROWD CHATTERING] 542 00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:04,184 - Max is here. - Ah. 543 00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,269 [MAX GROANS] 544 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:16,279 - Come on, love muffin. GRANDPA: Yeah, yeah. 545 00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:17,948 [SIGHING] 546 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,870 - Thanks. - Here. 547 00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:28,333 - You were always there to save me. - Mm-hm. Yeah, right. 548 00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:31,044 No, really. When Billy Gerber locked me in his tree house... 549 00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,838 ...you were my knight in shining armor. 550 00:35:33,005 --> 00:35:35,173 And I got a black eye for my effort. 551 00:35:35,341 --> 00:35:37,134 - Let me get that. - There you go. 552 00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:38,885 I always knew, you know. 553 00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:40,554 Knew what? 554 00:35:40,721 --> 00:35:43,140 That you had a crush on me since 6th grade. 555 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:46,184 You used to watch me with your dad's binoculars. 556 00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,519 - What? - Mm-hm. 557 00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,354 No. I... 558 00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:52,983 You never wondered why my curtains were open just enough? 559 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,901 I thought I was lucky. 560 00:35:56,195 --> 00:35:58,446 I just did it to torture you. Ha, ha. 561 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,741 Yes. Well, you succeeded wonderfully. 562 00:36:01,909 --> 00:36:04,536 How come you never asked me out? 563 00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:07,747 Uh, I... 564 00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:09,499 Hey, Mel. Hi, Jakey. 565 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:11,835 Uh, Mel, is the turkey supposed to be smoking? 566 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:15,213 Oh, man. I better run. See you. 567 00:36:15,381 --> 00:36:16,756 JACOB: Hey, John. - Hey. 568 00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:18,258 Happy Thanksgiving. 569 00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:21,344 - Yeah. How are you? - Good. 570 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,597 - They're getting a divorce. - Huh? 571 00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:28,059 Mel and Mike, they're getting a divorce. They call it a separation, but it's divorce. 572 00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:30,729 - Gee, I'm sorry to hear that. - Yeah. 573 00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,689 So are you seeing anyone special, are you? 574 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:35,692 Me? Mmm... 575 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,696 - No, I guess not. Nobody serious. - What do you know? 576 00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:43,700 We got a new neighbor, did you hear? 577 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,036 JACOB: Everyone in town is talking about this woman. 578 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,539 Yeah. Gee, she hasn't been out since 11:20. 579 00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:52,417 What are you doing? Clocking her, John? 580 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,878 Well, she keeps odd hours, you know. 581 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,963 Very interesting woman. 582 00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:59,257 Sounds like a wacko to me. 583 00:37:00,843 --> 00:37:03,261 I haven't had sex for 15 years. 584 00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:13,980 Could I have little? Oh. Mmm. 585 00:37:14,982 --> 00:37:16,024 [BURPS] 586 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:17,734 GRANDPA: Oh, my. MELANIE: Too much, Dad? 587 00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,152 Yeah, that was plenty. 588 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,446 Hey, why don't you give some of the leftovers to Jakey? 589 00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:23,114 He'll have his own leftovers. 590 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:27,202 That pre-cooked stuff his old man gets? That tastes like cardboard. 591 00:37:28,704 --> 00:37:30,830 Why don't you go and talk to her, Dad? 592 00:37:30,998 --> 00:37:32,457 What? Talk to who? 593 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:33,875 Ariel. 594 00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:36,169 You spent half the meal staring out the window. 595 00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:37,379 Just squirrels. 596 00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:40,340 There's the squirrels on her roof. That's what I was staring at. 597 00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:43,927 You're a handsome, eligible guy with a nice house, a good pension. 598 00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,345 You got a lot to offer her. 599 00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:47,180 Well, I got something to offer her. 600 00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:48,556 [GROWLS] 601 00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,478 I got zip to offer her. 602 00:37:54,188 --> 00:37:56,314 JACOB: Pop, I can't tell if this is done. 603 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:02,028 Pop, do you know how many minutes this thing needs to cook? 604 00:38:02,196 --> 00:38:04,114 Getting hungry. 605 00:38:07,243 --> 00:38: