The Santa Clause

Make sure you do. 540 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:48,322 I will. 541 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,533 Hey, Dad, look! 542 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:55,329 Fabulous ball. Hey, Barabbas. 543 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,206 - Bernard! - Bernard. 544 00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,750 Can we take a direct flight back to reality 545 00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:01,419 or do we have to change planes in Denver? 546 00:32:01,503 --> 00:32:03,337 Larry, take Charlie here and get him some chow. 547 00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:04,797 No, Larry, don't do that. Charlie! 548 00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:07,675 He'll be okay. Follow me, you'll want to get out of those clothes. 549 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:10,678 I... No, look, Barnaby, I just want to go home. 550 00:32:11,346 --> 00:32:12,847 (TOYS CLANGING) 551 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:15,016 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 552 00:32:35,329 --> 00:32:38,080 Look, I am not Santa Claus! 553 00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:40,041 Ah. 554 00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,460 Did you or did you not read the card? 555 00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:44,795 - Yeah, I read the card. - Then you're the new Santa. 556 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,340 In putting on the hat and jacket, you accepted the contract. 557 00:32:47,424 --> 00:32:49,091 What contract? 558 00:32:49,176 --> 00:32:51,636 The card in the Santa suit. You said you read it, right? 559 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,889 So when you put on the suit, you fell subject to the Santa Clause. 560 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,474 - Here. - The Santa Claus? 561 00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:58,392 You mean the guy that fell off my roof? 562 00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:01,937 No, no, no. Not Santa Claus the person, Santa Clause the clause. 563 00:33:02,022 --> 00:33:03,439 What? 564 00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:05,650 Look, you're a businessman, right? 565 00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:06,734 - Yeah. - Okay. 566 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:09,904 A clause, as in the last line of a contract. 567 00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:13,157 You got the card? 568 00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,661 Okay, look. (EXHALES DEEPLY) 569 00:33:16,745 --> 00:33:19,789 The Santa Clause, "In putting on this suit and entering the sleigh, 570 00:33:19,873 --> 00:33:22,500 "the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, 571 00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:23,584 "real or implied, 572 00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,087 "and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities 573 00:33:26,171 --> 00:33:28,339 "of Santa Claus in perpetuity 574 00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:30,966 "until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so 575 00:33:31,051 --> 00:33:34,512 - "by either accident or design." - What does that mean? 576 00:33:34,596 --> 00:33:36,806 It means you put on the suit, you're the big guy. 577 00:33:36,890 --> 00:33:38,182 That's ridiculous. I didn't put on a suit just to... 578 00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:40,309 Try to understand this! 579 00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:41,602 ELVES: Ooh. 580 00:33:43,397 --> 00:33:45,606 Let me explain something to you, okay? 581 00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:47,775 Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna do it. 582 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,694 It's not my job. I'm just an elf. 583 00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:53,030 It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off a roof, your roof. 584 00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:54,865 You read the card, you put on the suit. 585 00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,534 That clearly falls under the Santa Clause. 586 00:33:56,618 --> 00:33:58,953 - Now you're Santa, okay? - A question. 587 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,830 - What? - When can I get outta here? 588 00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:03,040 Dad, you gotta see this place! 589 00:34:03,125 --> 00:34:04,417 You leave tomorrow morning. 590 00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:06,210 You have 11 months to get your affairs in order, 591 00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,045 and you're due back here Thanksgiving. 592 00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:09,505 I'm not coming back here on Thanksgiving. 593 00:34:09,589 --> 00:34:11,799 I'll ship the list to your house. 594 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:15,136 - What list? - Come on, now. The list. 595 00:34:19,224 --> 00:34:20,641 (SINGING) He's making a list 596 00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,560 Checking it twice 597 00:34:22,644 --> 00:34:26,397 ELVES: Gonna find out who's naughty or nice 598 00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:28,816 Ugh. Look, you put a "P" next to the kids who are nice 599 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,359 and a "C" next to the naughty ones. 600 00:34:30,444 --> 00:34:31,694 "P" and "C"? 601 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:34,739 Yeah! "P" for present, "C" for coal, right, Bernard? 602 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,073 Right! 603 00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:37,700 Wait a minute! How do I know who's good and bad? 604 00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:40,911 - You'll know. - What if I don't wanna do this? 605 00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:44,081 - Don't even kid about a thing like that! - Why not? 606 00:34:44,