Elf

447 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,154 You sit on a throne of lies. 448 00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:22,864 - I'm not kidding. - You're a fake. 449 00:37:23,032 --> 00:37:24,074 - I'm a fake? - Yes. 450 00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,202 - How'd you like to be dead? Huh? - Fake? 451 00:37:27,370 --> 00:37:29,162 He's kidding. 452 00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:31,915 - You stink. - You're gonna have a good Christmas. 453 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:35,168 You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa. 454 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,090 He's an imposter! 455 00:37:43,135 --> 00:37:44,970 He's a fake! He's a fake! 456 00:37:45,137 --> 00:37:47,055 - Come here! - I can't. 457 00:37:49,892 --> 00:37:51,643 He's a fake! 458 00:37:58,025 --> 00:37:59,734 Where you going now? Where you going? 459 00:38:02,321 --> 00:38:04,823 Oh! Ah! 460 00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:09,828 No! 461 00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:17,961 He's not Santa Claus! He's not Santa! 462 00:38:20,756 --> 00:38:21,965 "To someone special." 463 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,244 - What's that? - Intercom. 464 00:38:51,912 --> 00:38:53,455 Right. 465 00:38:57,710 --> 00:39:00,295 - Yeah? - The police are on line one. 466 00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:02,922 Police. Hello? 467 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:22,817 Dad! 468 00:39:22,985 --> 00:39:24,861 I knew that you'd come. I love you for coming. 469 00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:27,947 Officer Tom, this is my dad. This is Walter. 470 00:39:28,115 --> 00:39:31,076 He bailed me out. They gave me one phone call. 471 00:39:31,243 --> 00:39:34,329 I said, "I know who I'm gonna call. Walter Hobbs." 472 00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:36,206 Sure enough, you showed up. You did. 473 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:39,542 They said you weren't gonna show up. They told me so many times. 474 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,629 Just who the heck are you and what is your problem? 475 00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,255 I'm Buddy. I'm your son. 476 00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:46,132 Wait. Um.... 477 00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:49,260 Tell me, where'd you get this picture? 478 00:39:49,845 --> 00:39:51,346 Papa Elf gave it to me. 479 00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:56,142 What is this, some kind of game? What do you want, some money? 480 00:39:56,310 --> 00:40:00,605 No. I just wanted to meet you and I thought you might wanna meet me. 481 00:40:06,779 --> 00:40:08,655 Who wouldn't wanna meet you? 482 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:12,617 Thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses and eat cookie dough... 483 00:40:12,785 --> 00:40:15,495 ...and go ice-skating and maybe even hold hands. 484 00:40:15,663 --> 00:40:16,996 Uh-huh. 485 00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:18,915 - Come with me. - Okay. 486 00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:29,968 Okay. What have we got here? 487 00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,229 Buddy, don't eat those. 488 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:47,694 Oh. 489 00:40:48,404 --> 00:40:51,322 Gotta hurry up, l'm double booked for the rest of the afternoon. 490 00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:54,451 - Am l sick? - Yeah, but we're here to do a test. 491 00:40:54,618 --> 00:40:57,245 - What kind of test? - A test to find out if you're my son. 492 00:40:57,413 --> 00:41:00,498 - Why am I sitting on paper? - It's sanitary for the other patients. 493 00:41:00,666 --> 00:41:03,501 - Sit still so I can do the finger prick. - Finger prick! 494 00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:06,754 - It's cold. - Yeah, just please sit still. 495 00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:09,632 - Can I listen to your necklace? - No, you can't. Sit still-- 496 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,052 Why is there a skeleton? If I squint, he looks like a pirate flag. 497 00:41:13,220 --> 00:41:15,138 - Does he have a name? - No. I'm sorry, Ben. 498 00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:17,348 - I have patients waiting. - Please sit still. 499 00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:19,893 - He got mad at me. - Yes, he did. He did. 500 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:23,188 The sooner you sit still, the sooner we can get this mess over with. 501 00:41:23,355 --> 00:41:25,231 - Then can we eat sugarplums? - You betcha. 502 00:41:25,399 --> 00:41:28,860 We'll eat sugarplums and have gingerbread houses and we'll even paint eggs. 503 00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:31,529 - Oh, paint eggs, that's Easter. - Right. 504 00:41:31,697 --> 00:41:35,033 Ow! Oh. 505 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,452 My finger has a heartbeat. 506 00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:39,746 Won't hurt so much after a little. 507 00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:41,581 What's your name? 508 00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:43,374 Buddy. 509 00:41:43,542 --> 00:41:45,835 - I'm Carolyn. - Hi. 510 00:41:47,630 --> 00:41:50,298 - What do you want for Christmas? - A Suzie Talks A Lot. 511 00:41:50,716 --> 00:41:52,592 I'll put in a good word with the big man. 512 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,844 Thanks. Your costume is pretty. 513 00:41:55,429 --> 00:41:58,014 Oh, it's not a costume. I'm an elf. 514 00:4...