The Seven Year Itch

At the club we had this girl who only smoked cigars. 437 00:38:57,461 --> 00:39:01,257 She only did it to make herself look older. 438 00:39:04,093 --> 00:39:07,596 - What club was that? - This club I lived at. 439 00:39:07,888 --> 00:39:10,808 I hated it. You had to be in by 1 a.m. 440 00:39:11,100 --> 00:39:13,769 Now I can stay out all night. 441 00:39:13,936 --> 00:39:18,441 I was glad when they practically asked me to leave. 442 00:39:18,774 --> 00:39:22,111 - Why did they ask you to leave? - It was so silly. 443 00:39:22,319 --> 00:39:27,575 I posed for a picture in <i>U.</i> S. Camera and they got all upset. 444 00:39:27,783 --> 00:39:29,827 What was wrong with the picture? 445 00:39:30,119 --> 00:39:34,999 I was-- It was one of these artistic pictures. 446 00:39:36,834 --> 00:39:39,128 On the beach, with driftwood. 447 00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:42,965 - It got honorable mention. - In <i>U.</i> S. Camera? 448 00:39:43,132 --> 00:39:47,428 It was called "Textures." You'd see three different kinds. 449 00:39:47,636 --> 00:39:51,682 The driftwood, the sand and me. I got $25 an hour. 450 00:39:51,974 --> 00:39:56,520 - It took hours and hours. - Very interesting line of work. 451 00:39:56,812 --> 00:40:01,984 I don't do modeling any more. Now I'm on TV every other week. 452 00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:05,321 <i>- The Dazzledent Toothpaste Hour. - You're an actress?</i> 453 00:40:05,613 --> 00:40:08,157 Sort of. I do the commercial part. 454 00:40:08,365 --> 00:40:12,203 It's a good part. They put gray makeup on my teeth... 455 00:40:12,495 --> 00:40:15,164 ...to show ordinary toothpaste. 456 00:40:15,372 --> 00:40:19,001 Then they wipe it off to show how Dazzledent works. 457 00:40:19,210 --> 00:40:22,838 I sit like this for about 14 seconds... 458 00:40:23,047 --> 00:40:25,633 ...and I get to speak lines too. 459 00:40:25,841 --> 00:40:29,678 "I had onions at lunch, I had garlic dressing at dinner. 460 00:40:29,845 --> 00:40:33,724 But he'll never know. I stay kissing-sweet... 461 00:40:34,016 --> 00:40:37,019 ...the new Dazzledent way." 462 00:40:39,313 --> 00:40:42,149 - You do that beautifully. - Thank you. 463 00:40:42,358 --> 00:40:46,320 People don't realize, but when I show my teeth on 464 00:40:46,529 --> 00:40:48,739 ...I appear before more people... 465 00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:53,244 ...than Sarah Bernhardt ever did. Something to think about. 466 00:40:53,536 --> 00:40:55,538 It certainly is. 467 00:40:56,038 --> 00:41:00,543 Wish I were old enough to have seen her. Was she magnificent? 468 00:41:02,878 --> 00:41:06,006 I wouldn't know. I'm not that old myself. 469 00:41:06,257 --> 00:41:08,092 I guess you're not really. 470 00:41:08,384 --> 00:41:11,846 I'm 39. I will be in August. At the moment I'm 38. 471 00:41:12,096 --> 00:41:15,766 Thirty-eight? I was 22, day before yesterday. 472 00:41:16,016 --> 00:41:19,520 I didn't do anything about it. I didn't tell anyone. 473 00:41:19,728 --> 00:41:22,523 I did buy a bottle of champagne. 474 00:41:22,731 --> 00:41:25,776 I thought I'd sit there, drink it by myself. 475 00:41:26,068 --> 00:41:29,196 - That sounds absolutely sad. - Oh, no! 476 00:41:29,405 --> 00:41:34,201 It would've been just elegant, lying in a bath, drinking champagne. 477 00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:39,790 - But I couldn't get the bottle open. - You couldn't? There's nothing to it. 478 00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:42,793 You think you could get it open? 479 00:41:43,043 --> 00:41:45,296 I'm pretty sure I could. 480 00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:48,465 I've got an idea. I'll go up and get it. 481 00:41:48,757 --> 00:41:51,385 It's in the icebox with the potato chips and my underwear. 482 00:41:51,594 --> 00:41:54,221 - Do you have champagne glasses? - Yes. 483 00:41:54,430 --> 00:41:57,099 Good! We'll have a wonderful time. 484 00:41:57,308 --> 00:42:00,436 The man says it's very good champagne. 485 00:42:02,897 --> 00:42:08,110 - Shall I bring the potato chips too? - Sure, let's shoot the works. 486 00:42:11,655 --> 00:42:15,492 Honorable mention in U.S. Camera. 487 00:42:21,248 --> 00:42:23,959 <i>U. S. Camera.</i> 488 00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:35,304 "News Events. Children and Animals. The Human Body." 489 00:42:54,949 --> 00:42:58,786 Champagne glasses. Champagne glasses. 490 00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:24,853 Phone, phone. Where's the phone? 491 00:43:28,732 --> 00:43:31,026 Hello? Who is it? 492 00:43:31,318 --> 00:43:34,571 Oh, Helen. Well, this is a surprise! 493 00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:38,367 And a pleasant one. How are you? 494 00:43:38,659 --> 00:43:42,162 Sure, I'm all right. Why shouldn't I be all right? 495 00:43:42,371 --> 00:43:46,500 In what way do I sound funny? Everything is just fine. 496 00:43:46,709 --> 00:43:50,838 What's your problem? Did I know Ricky forgot his paddle? 497 00:43:51,088 --> 00:43:55,384 I've been dragging that thing all over New York. Sure, I will. 498 00:43:55,676 --> 00:43:59,388 I'll send it off first thing. Good night. 499 00:43: