National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1

MOST OF HIS DECISIONS. 457 00:29:25,564 --> 00:29:27,399 THANKS A LOT. YOU'VE BEEN GREAT. 458 00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:30,803 MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T GET ANY DOUGHNUTS. 459 00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:39,145 YOU COULD HAVE GONE A LITTLE LIGHTER ON THE GUYS. 460 00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:40,746 THAT'S HOW IT STARTS, COLT. 461 00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:43,149 YOU LIGHTEN UP, NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 462 00:29:43,149 --> 00:29:45,751 ALL THE RULES ARE OUT THE WINDOW. 463 00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:46,752 TIGHT ASS. 464 00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:48,354 YOU SAY SOMETHING? 465 00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:49,355 UH-UH. 466 00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:51,824 PENCILNECK. 467 00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:56,963 BUTTHEAD. 468 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:03,769 WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GUYS? 469 00:30:03,769 --> 00:30:05,771 I RUN A RESPECTABLE PLACE. 470 00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:08,174 WHAT ARE YOU ROUSTING ME FOR? 471 00:30:08,174 --> 00:30:09,775 I GOT FRIENDS DOWNTOWN. 472 00:30:09,775 --> 00:30:12,344 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 473 00:30:12,344 --> 00:30:14,080 WE HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING YET. 474 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,647 I GOT NOTHING TO SAY. 475 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:16,916 PARK THE TONGUE, BUDDY. 476 00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:18,784 I'M SERGEANT COLT. 477 00:30:18,784 --> 00:30:20,419 THIS IS SERGEANT LUGER. 478 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:23,389 YOU KNOW A WOMAN BY THE NAME OF BILLY YORK? 479 00:30:23,389 --> 00:30:24,857 YOU GOT A PICTURE? 480 00:30:26,392 --> 00:30:28,394 OH. AHEM. HERE WE GO. 481 00:30:35,801 --> 00:30:37,036 THAT HER? 482 00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:38,837 NO. THAT'S HER PICTURE. 483 00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:41,807 NOPE. DON'T KNOW HER. 484 00:30:41,807 --> 00:30:45,277 WELL, MAYBE THIS WILL REFRESH YOUR MEMORY. 485 00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,385 I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S A LITTLE OUT OF FOCUS. 486 00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:54,420 [GUNSHOT] 487 00:30:55,821 --> 00:30:58,224 [SCREAMING] 488 00:31:05,564 --> 00:31:06,565 AAH! 489 00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:07,967 AAH! 490 00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:10,970 IS THIS THE BILLY YORK INFORMANT SHOOTOUT? 491 00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:13,973 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST GOT HERE. 492 00:31:13,973 --> 00:31:15,574 WAIT A SECOND. 493 00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,443 HEY, LARRY. 494 00:31:17,443 --> 00:31:18,945 LARRY! 495 00:31:20,947 --> 00:31:24,250 IS THIS THE BILLY YORK INFORMANT SHOOTOUT? 496 00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:26,818 I DON'T KNOW. CHECK OUT THE THIRD FLOOR. 497 00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:28,054 THANKS. 498 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:37,930 BEAT IT. 499 00:31:38,597 --> 00:31:40,399 THIS IS AN FBI CASE. 500 00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:43,202 ALL RIGHT, BRING HIM ON OUT. 501 00:31:48,007 --> 00:31:50,409 IS HE THE BILLY YORK INFORMANT? 502 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:53,012 GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, WILL YOU? 503 00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:55,014 THAT'S BECKER, 403. 504 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,418 HEY, YOU! 505 00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:05,191 NOT SO FAST. 506 00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:08,227 THAT'S BETTER. 507 00:32:11,230 --> 00:32:13,365 NOPE. I'LL HANDLE THIS. 508 00:32:13,365 --> 00:32:16,135 ALL RIGHT, BECKER, OPEN UP! POLICE! 509 00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:18,404 [MACHINE GUN FIRE] 510 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,843 NOW THAT WE'VE TRIED IT YOUR WAY, 511 00:32:24,843 --> 00:32:26,712 LET'S TRY MINE. 512 00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:30,449 WHO IS IT? 513 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:31,984 ROOM SERVICE. 514 00:32:31,984 --> 00:32:33,219 OH. 515 00:32:35,921 --> 00:32:37,723 WHAT? I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'. 516 00:32:37,723 --> 00:32:40,459 I DIDN'T SEE NOTHIN'. I AIN'T SAYING NOTHIN'. 517 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,261 NOTHING, THE WORD IS NOTHING. 518 00:32:42,261 --> 00:32:46,065 THERE'S AN I-N-G ON THE END OF IT. NOTHING. 519 00:32:46,065 --> 00:32:48,500 O.K. NOTHING. 520 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:49,635 NOTHING. 521 00:32:49,635 --> 00:32:52,471 NOTHING! 522 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:53,672 O.K., YOU HAPPY? 523 00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:56,408 THAT'S BETTER. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU TOLD YORK. 524 00:32:56,408 --> 00:32:59,011 I--I DON'T KNOW NO YORK, 525 00:32:59,011 --> 00:33:00,379 AND WHERE'S MY FOOD? 526 00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:02,981 WE ATE IT, AND PLEASE, NO DOUBLE NEGATIVES. 527 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,717 SORRY. I DON'T KNOW ANY YORK. 528 00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:07,719 YOU DON'T KNOW ANY YORK? 529 00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:08,887 [TOILET FLUSHES] 530 00:33:08,887 --> 00:33:10,489 THESE MATCHES SAY YOU'RE LYING. 531 00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:13,259 OH...YORK. 532 00:33:13,259 --> 00:33:15,894 SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET YOU HERE 533 00:33:15,894 --> 00:33:17,663 THE NIGHT SHE DIED. WHY? 534 00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:18,930 IT'S WHERE I LIVE. 535 00:33:18,930 --> 00:33:20,399 YEAH, BUT WHY YOU? 536 00:33:20,399 --> 00:33:23,302 THE OTHER GUY COULDN'T COME UP WITH THE DEPOSIT. 537 00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:26,305 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT A PIECE OF MICROFILM? 538 00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:27,906 IT'S SMALL AND BRITTLE, 539 00:33:27,906 --> 00:33:30,442 AND IT'S USED IN A LOT OF BOND FILMS. 540 00:33:30,442 --> 00:33:32,044 [BUZZER] 541 00:33:38,4