Violent Night

00:39:31,322 --> 00:39:33,025 Yeah, this is Santa. 520 00:39:35,997 --> 00:39:38,338 I hope I'm not bothering you. 521 00:39:40,034 --> 00:39:42,639 Daddy said you were very busy tonight. 522 00:39:44,577 --> 00:39:46,445 I'm... 523 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,678 I'm on a break. 524 00:39:48,713 --> 00:39:50,746 Who-who am I speaking to? 525 00:39:53,245 --> 00:39:55,311 My name is Trudy Lightstone, 526 00:39:55,346 --> 00:39:58,655 and I've been very good this year. 527 00:39:58,690 --> 00:40:00,558 Trudy... 528 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:04,727 Trudy Lightstone. 529 00:40:13,771 --> 00:40:16,034 Yeah, Trudy. 530 00:40:16,069 --> 00:40:18,509 You're on my nice list. 531 00:40:18,544 --> 00:40:20,709 You've been a very good girl this year. 532 00:40:22,372 --> 00:40:24,416 Where are you now, Trudy? 533 00:40:25,947 --> 00:40:28,717 I'm in a big room with all my relatives. 534 00:40:28,752 --> 00:40:31,951 There's two bad men with guns watching us. 535 00:40:34,725 --> 00:40:36,560 Oh, no. Six left. 536 00:40:36,595 --> 00:40:38,529 Are you gonna help us, Santa? 537 00:40:39,928 --> 00:40:41,895 Yeah. Of course I'm gonna help you. 538 00:40:41,930 --> 00:40:44,766 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you out of there. 539 00:40:44,801 --> 00:40:48,066 Take all these bad guys on my naughty list... 540 00:40:49,135 --> 00:40:51,740 I'm gonna take a lump of coal, 541 00:40:51,775 --> 00:40:55,447 each and every one of them, and shove it straight up... 542 00:40:55,482 --> 00:40:56,580 The ass. 543 00:40:59,618 --> 00:41:01,276 Well, I mean, come on, sweetie. 544 00:41:01,311 --> 00:41:03,982 We want to keep you on the nice list, you know. 545 00:41:05,590 --> 00:41:07,920 Sorry. Can I say "butthole," then? 546 00:41:08,923 --> 00:41:10,252 I mean, it's borderline. 547 00:41:10,287 --> 00:41:12,023 How about "anus"? 548 00:41:12,058 --> 00:41:16,434 Technically, yes, uh, "anus" is the tech... 549 00:41:16,469 --> 00:41:18,227 Okay, look, uh, Tru... uh, Trudy. 550 00:41:18,262 --> 00:41:20,933 I got to call for help, and the phone lines are down. 551 00:41:20,968 --> 00:41:23,540 You probably know this house better than anybody. 552 00:41:23,575 --> 00:41:25,399 You got any suggestions? 553 00:41:25,434 --> 00:41:26,972 I have an idea. 554 00:41:29,581 --> 00:41:31,977 All right, you're telling me there's a goddamn Santa Claus 555 00:41:32,012 --> 00:41:33,682 running around here? 556 00:41:37,149 --> 00:41:39,149 Okay, well, he looks jolly as fuck, 557 00:41:39,184 --> 00:41:40,821 but who the hell is he? 558 00:41:40,856 --> 00:41:42,823 There's no Santa listed on the employee manifest. 559 00:41:42,858 --> 00:41:44,286 Yeah, there's more. 560 00:41:44,321 --> 00:41:45,925 Frosty hasn't checked in. I can't reach him. 561 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,827 All right, keep trying. 562 00:41:50,502 --> 00:41:52,128 All right, it's official. 563 00:41:52,163 --> 00:41:53,998 We got a gopher on the loose, and he's dangerous. 564 00:41:54,033 --> 00:41:55,296 Watch your backs. 565 00:42:00,303 --> 00:42:02,974 Al? Al? 566 00:42:09,213 --> 00:42:11,048 Oh, shit. 567 00:42:18,893 --> 00:42:20,695 Oh, shit! 568 00:42:20,730 --> 00:42:23,698 Frosty, what's your status? 569 00:42:27,231 --> 00:42:29,297 Frosty, sound off. 570 00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:33,169 Uh, Frosty? 571 00:42:34,501 --> 00:42:36,039 Is-is that, uh... 572 00:42:36,074 --> 00:42:37,975 is that the naughty guy I met in the basement? 573 00:42:38,010 --> 00:42:39,845 Your-your friend is dead. 574 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,947 Uh, he got a star in his face, then his head caught on fire. 575 00:42:42,982 --> 00:42:44,817 It's a long story. 576 00:42:47,657 --> 00:42:49,822 Is this... is this our Santy? 577 00:42:49,857 --> 00:42:52,726 Is this our... our Santy Claus? 578 00:42:52,761 --> 00:42:54,222 Yeah, it is. 579 00:42:55,225 --> 00:42:57,060 To whom am I speaking? 580 00:42:57,095 --> 00:42:59,062 Well, for tonight, I'm Mr. Scrooge. 581 00:42:59,097 --> 00:43:03,000 Now, what is it that you want exactly, Santa? 582 00:43:03,035 --> 00:43:05,574 I want you to put down your weapons, 583 00:43:05,609 --> 00:43:08,544 I want you to let this family go, 584 00:43:08,579 --> 00:43:10,403 and then I want to find my reindeer, 585 00:43:10,438 --> 00:43:12,581 and I want to continue delivering my presents. 586 00:43:15,509 --> 00:43:17,146 Are you fucking with me? 587 00:43:17,181 --> 00:43:19,511 All right, who the hell are you really, huh? 588 00:43:19,546 --> 00:43:22,051 Some security guard who's watched too many action flicks? 589 00:43:22,086 --> 00:43:24,658 Some loser ex-cop stuck in a mall 590 00:43:24,693 --> 00:43:26,693 playing dress-up with fat kids pissing on your lap? 591 00:43:26,728 --> 00:43:28,222 Stop me when I get it ri