There's Something About Mary

I took a job offer. 611 00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:22,914 With who? 612 00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:26,752 With Rice-a-Roni. 613 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:30,088 Isn't that the San Francisco treat? 614 00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:32,007 It was. 615 00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:35,177 - They're changing their image. - Yeah, well, listen. 616 00:42:35,345 --> 00:42:37,763 - I've been thinking about what you said. - Good. Good. 617 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:41,266 And I still wanna look her up. 618 00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:45,145 Who? Roller pig? Are you nuts? 619 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:48,774 I thought you said she was a real spark plug. 620 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:52,736 No, no, I said butt plug. She's heinous. 621 00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,784 You know what? All the same. I think I wanna call her. 622 00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:01,036 I mean. I know it sounds crazy... 623 00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:03,455 ...but. I don't know. maybe I can help her out. 624 00:43:03,623 --> 00:43:07,417 I feel bad, you know. The poor thing. she's in a wheelchair for God's sakes. 625 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:12,255 - It's a bunion. It'll heal. - Bunion? You... I thought... 626 00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,050 You know what? That's not even it. The point is. I just... 627 00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:20,847 I know this doesn't make sense to you, but I can't just turn it off that fast. 628 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,520 I guess I still have feelings for her. 629 00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:30,482 This girl really means something to you. Huh? 630 00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:36,154 All right. 631 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:38,365 Tell you what. 632 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:42,411 I'll get you her number as soon as she gets back from Japan. 633 00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,746 Thank you, I appreciate... 634 00:43:44,914 --> 00:43:49,000 Japan? What's happening in Japan? Why is she going to Japan? 635 00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:52,504 You've heard of mail-order brides, haven't you? 636 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:55,966 - Well. They go that way too. - Mary's a...? 637 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,468 What are they, desperate? She's a whale. 638 00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:02,973 Don't forget. It's a sumo culture. They pay by the pound there. 639 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:06,184 Sort of like tuna. 640 00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:09,688 What happened to...? You said she was single. 641 00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:13,900 - Remember. No rock? - You had your window. Ted. You blew it. 642 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,822 I had my window? 643 00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:24,870 I'm sorry, buddy. It's just, you know, you're taking this all wrong. 644 00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:28,582 Okay? I mean, come on. You're liberated. I feel liberated. 645 00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:32,335 I mean. You're in therapy thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever... 646 00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:35,547 ...and it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper... 647 00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:37,924 ...was the best thing that ever happened to you. 648 00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:41,344 - Say it a little louder? - I'm sorry, but it was. 649 00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:44,890 I never told you that. 650 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:48,643 Christ. Ted. I was only four towns away. 651 00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:51,521 - Excuse me. - Oh. Sure, sweetheart. 652 00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:52,814 Oh, man. I gotta go. 653 00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:56,735 I gotta get up at 6 a.m. and help my boss's brother move into his apartment. 654 00:44:56,903 --> 00:45:00,989 - Your boss's brother? Who's that? - I don't even know. I never met him. 655 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:04,409 Ted, you gotta finish that novel so you can quit that stupid magazine. 656 00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:05,744 Yeah. 657 00:45:11,918 --> 00:45:13,793 Nice swing. 658 00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:23,178 Christ. Hit a house. 659 00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:26,097 I haven't swung the wrenches in a while. 660 00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,980 Would you mind giving me some pointers here? 661 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:38,193 Yeah. Sure. Don't talk in someone's backswing. 662 00:45:39,195 --> 00:45:40,904 Oh, thanks. 663 00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:45,283 - I'm gonna go get a soda. You want one? - No, thanks. 664 00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:53,166 Look. I'm sorry to bother you again. but you got change of a dollar? 665 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,210 No. 666 00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:58,588 All I got are these damn Nepalese coins. 667 00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,302 You've been to Nepal? 668 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:09,140 Not in months. 669 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:11,893 I don't even know why I bought the damn place. 670 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:22,988 - Nice meeting you again. - You too. Again. 671 00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:26,700 So. What's your name? 672 00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:29,661 Pat Healy. 673 00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:33,957 Wanna know mine? 674 00:46:35,001 --> 00