Ricky Gervais: Out of England 2

00:24:30,897 --> 00:24:33,165 It was put in a sack and bundled on a boat to Africa 565 00:24:33,199 --> 00:24:35,133 like "Roots" in reverse. 566 00:24:35,168 --> 00:24:37,436 There was no... There was no way. 567 00:24:37,470 --> 00:24:39,110 They went, "Do you want to go to Africa?" 568 00:24:39,139 --> 00:24:40,673 It went, "Definitely not. No no." 569 00:24:40,708 --> 00:24:42,641 "Oh, come on. Why don't you wanna go to Africa?" 570 00:24:42,676 --> 00:24:45,211 "Um, lions." 571 00:24:46,713 --> 00:24:48,580 "Come on. Why don't you wanna go to Africa?" 572 00:24:48,614 --> 00:24:51,248 "Um, AIDS." 573 00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:52,982 "Well, that shouldn't affect you." 574 00:24:53,016 --> 00:24:55,250 "It shouldn't." 575 00:24:57,385 --> 00:25:00,287 So just be careful with that charity shit, 576 00:25:00,321 --> 00:25:01,655 particularly at Christmas. 577 00:25:01,689 --> 00:25:02,922 That's when they get you. 578 00:25:02,957 --> 00:25:05,057 They give you a guilt trip at Christmas. 579 00:25:06,358 --> 00:25:08,105 All the adverts of a charity at Christmas. 580 00:25:08,171 --> 00:25:09,605 You're sitting at home, aren't you, 581 00:25:09,639 --> 00:25:10,874 having your Christmas lunch... 582 00:25:10,908 --> 00:25:12,476 loads of food, too much food. 583 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,445 Probably gonna throw a lot of it away, right? 584 00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:16,580 And things like this come on the telly. 585 00:25:16,614 --> 00:25:18,781 This runs every Christmas day in England. 586 00:25:18,816 --> 00:25:21,783 It goes, "Is there an old lady near you, 587 00:25:21,818 --> 00:25:23,985 cold and lonely this Christmas?" 588 00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:26,654 Yeah. I fuckin' hate her. 589 00:25:28,090 --> 00:25:31,325 Nosy bitch winds me up all year round, okay? 590 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,228 I can't wait for the cold weather. 591 00:25:34,262 --> 00:25:35,729 There's no old lady near me. 592 00:25:35,763 --> 00:25:37,397 She died last year of hypothermia. 593 00:25:37,432 --> 00:25:40,267 So result, yeah. Brilliant. 594 00:25:40,301 --> 00:25:45,004 The other big one is "A dog is for life, not just for Christmas." 595 00:25:45,038 --> 00:25:47,373 I'm right behind that. I'm really into animal welfare. 596 00:25:47,407 --> 00:25:49,486 And that's obviously aimed at parents whose kids go, 597 00:25:49,510 --> 00:25:50,954 "Can I have a puppy? Can I have a puppy?" 598 00:25:50,978 --> 00:25:52,823 And they go, "No." "Can I have a puppy? Can I..." 599 00:25:52,847 --> 00:25:54,691 And they get them a puppy to shut them up, right? 600 00:25:54,715 --> 00:25:56,626 And the kid likes it when it's cute. It grows up. 601 00:25:56,650 --> 00:25:58,594 The kid gets other interests, gets bored with the dog. 602 00:25:58,618 --> 00:25:59,894 They lumber the parents with it. 603 00:25:59,918 --> 00:26:01,885 The parents get bored with it. They abandon it. 604 00:26:01,919 --> 00:26:05,355 11,000 pets were abandoned in England last year, which is terrible. 605 00:26:05,389 --> 00:26:07,690 And I think, you know, kids should have pets. 606 00:26:07,724 --> 00:26:09,425 I think it teaches them life lessons. 607 00:26:09,459 --> 00:26:11,537 I haven't got kids, but I've got loads of nieces and nephews. 608 00:26:11,561 --> 00:26:13,038 And they've got kids of their own now. 609 00:26:13,062 --> 00:26:15,364 I want to be a cool uncle and give them what they want, 610 00:26:15,398 --> 00:26:16,876 but I want to be a responsible one too 611 00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:18,367 and not add to the stray problem. 612 00:26:18,401 --> 00:26:20,069 But I think I've solved the dilemma. 613 00:26:20,103 --> 00:26:21,647 Here's a tip. This is what I do, anyway. 614 00:26:21,671 --> 00:26:23,115 You've gotta wait till Christmas eve. 615 00:26:23,139 --> 00:26:25,774 And always go to an animal rescue center, not a breeder. 616 00:26:25,808 --> 00:26:28,276 I go along to an animal rescue center Christmas eve, 617 00:26:28,311 --> 00:26:31,113 and I go to the veterinary part. 618 00:26:31,147 --> 00:26:34,116 They've usually got, like, a runt who's been born 619 00:26:34,150 --> 00:26:36,351 sort of disabled with no quality of life, 620 00:26:36,385 --> 00:26:38,786 and they're just putting that out of its misery. 621 00:26:38,821 --> 00:26:41,589 And I go, "No, don't kill that one. 622 00:26:41,623 --> 00:26:43,558 I'll take that one." 623 00:26:43,593 --> 00:26:46,628 And they go, "It's only gonna live a day." 624 00:26:48,796 --> 00:26:51,364 Perfect. Perfect. 625 00:26:51,398 --> 00:26:53,365 So... so... and I run home. 626 00:26:53,399 --> 00:26:54,866 I'm going, "Don't die yet. 627 00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:56,367 Don't die yet. Hold on." 628 00:26:56,402 --> 00:26:59,170 A little bit of Starbucks. A little bit of Starbucks. 629 00:27:00,605 --> 00:2