Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

should challenge ourselves 360 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,724 to sit at the table and rise to the top. 361 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:51,769 And her book is called <i>Lean In.</i> 362 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,900 Well, I don't wanna lean in, OK? 363 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:01,111 - I wanna lie down. - [laughter] 364 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,868 I want to lie the fuck down. 365 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:13,499 I think feminism is the worst thing that ever happened to women. 366 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,962 Our job used to be no job. 367 00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,213 [laughter] 368 00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,341 We had it so good. 369 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,511 We could have done the smart thing, 370 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:29,139 which would have been to continue playing dumb 371 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,933 for the next century 372 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,851 and be like, "We're dumb women. 373 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,520 We don't know how to do anything. 374 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:37,523 So, I guess we better just stay at home all day 375 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,316 and eat snacks and watch <i>Ellen."</i> 376 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,818 [laughter] 377 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:45,531 "'Cause we're too stupid to have any real responsibility." 378 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:48,158 And then, all these women had to show off 379 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:51,453 and be like, "We could do it! We could do anything." 380 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,872 - "Bitch, shut up!" - [laughter] 381 00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:58,127 "Don't tell them the secret." 382 00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,132 They ruined it for us, 383 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:06,051 and now we're expected to work. 384 00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:09,805 When I hear the phrase, "Double-income household," 385 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,307 I wanna throw up. 386 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,850 [laughter] 387 00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:19,607 A lot of women get very upset with me about those comments. 388 00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:23,569 And they're like, "But, Ali, we have so many more options now." 389 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:26,655 Oh, you don't think we had a lot of options 390 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:29,158 when our day was free? 391 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,701 [laughter] 392 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,122 Unscheduled, unsupervised, 393 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,750 and most importantly, sponsored? 394 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,335 [laughter] 395 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,547 Do you know how much shittier food tastes 396 00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,341 when you know you have to earn it? 397 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,684 A lot of my friends, when we walk around together, 398 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,645 they'll get very judgmental 399 00:23:57,728 --> 00:24:00,731 about housewives that we'll see on the street. 400 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:03,067 And they'll be like, "Look at that fucking housewife. 401 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:04,276 Not doing anything. 402 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,737 Look at that housewife, just walking around all day, 403 00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:09,448 getting massages in her Lululemon pants." 404 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,828 - I'm like, "That bitch is a genius." - [laughter] 405 00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:18,791 "She's not a housewife, she's retired." 406 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:24,004 I do write for <i>Fresh Off the Boat</i> on ABC. 407 00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:26,882 - [crowd whoops, applauds] - Yeah. Which is... 408 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,592 It's a great show. 409 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,761 I love it a lot. I love my co-workers. 410 00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:33,305 It's a great writing staff and in terms of day jobs, 411 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:36,183 it's probably one of the best you could ask for, 412 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:40,854 but I still gotta work at a office every day. 413 00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:45,776 Which means I gotta shit in a office every day. 414 00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:49,571 Housewives, they don't gotta shit in a office. 415 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:52,658 Housewives get to shit in their house. 416 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,576 Skin to seat. 417 00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:58,330 They don't gotta use that horrible toilet paper cover. 418 00:24:58,497 --> 00:24:59,665 They don't gotta... 419 00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:03,001 [laughter] 420 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,838 ten times a day, every day... 421 00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:11,343 - like you're about to eat a sad-ass meal. - [laughter] 422 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:12,636 They don't gotta do that. 423 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,973 They don't gotta use that one-ply toilet paper, 424 00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:17,558 that office toilet paper, 425 00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,769 that they purposely make difficult to pull out. 426 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,481 They try to ration me with their communist