Easy A

And every day at school is like I'm being suffocated. 516 00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:24,745 And sure, we can sit and fantasize all we want... 517 00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:27,373 ...about how things are gonna be different one day... 518 00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:29,417 ...but this is today and it sucks. 519 00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:32,795 There's only one way around it. You were smart enough to think of it. 520 00:28:32,962 --> 00:28:35,548 So please, just help me. 521 00:28:35,715 --> 00:28:39,385 Because I can't take another day of this. I don't know what I'll do. 522 00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:49,770 I don't do anything half-assed. All right? 523 00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,439 It'll have to be a public event. 524 00:28:51,606 --> 00:28:54,025 Melody Bostic is throwing a party tomorrow night. 525 00:28:54,191 --> 00:28:58,112 All of your tormentors will be there. You and I are going together. All right? 526 00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:02,450 You have to do everything I say and tell everyone that I am sensational. 527 00:29:02,617 --> 00:29:05,745 - Thank you so much for doing this. - Just... 528 00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:09,582 ...you know, make sure you're ready to live with the consequences. 529 00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:14,712 - What the hell is a lemon squeeze? - It's like a backwards melon bag. 530 00:29:14,879 --> 00:29:17,924 How don't I know any of this? 531 00:29:19,592 --> 00:29:22,470 <i>The next night was the party at Melody Bostic's house.</i> 532 00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:24,972 <i>She is the most popular girl in school.</i> 533 00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:27,683 <i>It's partly because she's pretty and has perfect hair...</i> 534 00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:30,770 <i>...but mostly because her parents let her have these parties...</i> 535 00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:33,397 <i>...every time she catches them doing it in the pool...</i> 536 00:29:33,564 --> 00:29:36,692 <i>...which is every week, apparently.</i> 537 00:29:36,859 --> 00:29:39,820 <i>Brandon and I showed up when it was in full swing.</i> 538 00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,115 <i>I borrowed a dress from my mom, Brandon borrowed a jacket from me...</i> 539 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:45,201 <i>...and we put on a little show.</i> 540 00:29:45,368 --> 00:29:48,037 Hey, Olive and Brandon. 541 00:29:48,204 --> 00:29:49,497 What's up? 542 00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:53,042 I hope you don't mind, but we had a few pre-cocktail-party cocktails... 543 00:29:53,209 --> 00:29:56,295 ...like, before the cocktail party with cocktails. 544 00:29:58,047 --> 00:30:01,133 Listen, here's the sitch, Melody Bostic. 545 00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:05,930 Brandon was just in the middle of telling me this really funny thing... 546 00:30:06,097 --> 00:30:07,264 ...which is really funny. 547 00:30:07,431 --> 00:30:11,227 And I was wondering if there's, like, a room where we could go... 548 00:30:11,394 --> 00:30:14,689 ...where he could finish telling me that thing that's funny... 549 00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:16,148 ...if you know what I mean. 550 00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:17,608 You can use my room. 551 00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:20,528 Down the hall to the left. 552 00:30:21,779 --> 00:30:24,031 Cool. 553 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,284 Is that Olive with Brandon? 554 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,370 I know. What the hell, right? 555 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:31,247 You guys are my buddies. 556 00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:33,040 I'm drunk, bitches. What's up? 557 00:30:33,207 --> 00:30:34,709 I love your room! 558 00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:37,211 My sheets. Put a towel down. 559 00:30:37,378 --> 00:30:41,090 - Olive's gonna do a gay dude. - Thanks. Close the shades. 560 00:30:45,886 --> 00:30:47,304 - What are you doing? - Relax. 561 00:30:47,471 --> 00:30:51,142 Jesus, what is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? 562 00:30:51,308 --> 00:30:53,561 What do you think I have down there, a gnome? 563 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:03,654 So nice. What is that, lavender? It's pretty. 564 00:31:03,821 --> 00:31:06,532 What are you doing? Can you--? Can you come here, please? 565 00:31:06,699 --> 00:31:08,868 Jacket off. Come on. 566 00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:12,663 All right. Come on. Chop-chop. All right. 567 00:31:12,830 --> 00:31:15,207 Now grunt. Grunt and make it convincing. 568 00:31:17,126 --> 00:31:19,920 I said grunt, not whine. Just grunt. 569 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,594 Moan, you know? Like, sex noises. 570 00:31:28,596 --> 00:31:29,764 God, you are pathetic. 571 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,440 Good. Good. 572 00:31:41,776 --> 00:31:44,153 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 573 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,113 Oh, yeah. 574 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,574 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. 575 00:31:52,578 --> 00:31:55,247 - You don't have to be so aggressive. - You don't like that? 576 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,458 - No, I don't like that. - You don't like that? 577 00:31:57,6...